I got these two emails the other day, and they came in almost back to back. And I’m sad to say that I “get” it. You’re going to be horrified.
Kristen wrote: “My best friend and I were in the car the other day and heard a radio advertisement for a new dating service (more like a disservice). It isn’t your typical dating site, no, no; this site is for those looking to commit adultery. Their slogan? ‘When Monogamy Becomes Monotony.’ The tab on my internet browser even labeled it ‘Married Dating.’ Apparently dating these days isn’t just for single folks anymore. The first thing that popped into my head was, ‘Boy I wonder how long it will take for someone to call Dr. Laura to tell her how they found this site on their spouse’s ‘favorites’ list.’ What a shame!
I am proud to say that because of your sound advice and my early commitment to ‘The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands,’ my soon-to-be husband, of this July, would never consider such a “dating service.” Keep up the GREAT work Dr. Laura. If anyone can combat the irresponsible use of such a filthy site, it’s you!”
Well, I thought that was well taken. But, you see, she read and has committed to “The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands.”
Then this came in , from a guy whose name I won’t give, but after reading this, you’ll understand who’s going to be calling the “When You’re Married” dating site. He said:
I heard, on your show yesterday that this guy stood up to the plate, helped his wife when she was sick, and what she did to say thank you for her appreciation. I thought I would do something nice for my wife as we have been more like roommates rather that husband and wife. So when she came home the other night, I had dinner started; I asked her how her day had gone. I made dinner: pasta, home made sauce, a nice salad, a glass of wine. When she was done I cleaned up and while she was watching TV, I filled the tub with lots of bubbles, and lit candles all around the top. (It is a big tub and two can fit in very easily.) I poured two glasses of wine, got her robe and said, ‘Close your eyes and come with me.’ She followed me into the bathroom and saw what I had done and said,’ Are you crazy? Is this supposed to get me excited about being intimate with you? I don’t know what you were thinking, but I am tired and I don’t need this.’ Anyway,I am sure someone out there would have appreciated the gesture.
I think this is why guys wake up and say, I have had enough.” And then they call dating sites, and crank up porn, and have affairs.
When I wrote “The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands,” everybody wanted to know why I didn’t have “The Proper Care & Feeding Of Wives.” And I said that women control everything in intimate relationships, and that it was much easier for a woman to change a man’s mood, than it was for a man to change a woman’s mood. For example: A man comes home after a very bad day. His wife greets him at the door, in some scanty negligee, and says “Honey, lets go make mad, passionate love.” The guy goes brain dead about his day, and has a great night.
A woman, however, comes home after a bad day. Guy meets her in the altogether, and says, “Baby, let’s go make mad, passionate love.” And she’s going to sound just like this wife: “Are you crazy? Is this supposed to make me excited about being intimate with you? I don’t know what you were thinking, but I am tired and I don’t need this.” That would be the more typical response, because we women don’t give up our moods that quickly. We embrace them, with talons sunk in deep. So, yeah. I know it sounds shocking, but I know why there are sites where you can get some action. Because, wherever there isn’t the proper care and feeding of husbands, there’s somebody that’s going to log into one of those sites. A husband who sets up the night like this guy did, whose wife goes, “Ooh, honey” is never going to log into any of those sites. Because he’s got everything: wife, mother of his children, lover, and best friend… There’s nothing left to look for.