Monthly Archives: February 2008

The Moment of Truth

In a never-ending supply of lows, TV’s newest contribution to the destruction of dignity, modesty, and compassion is on the Fox Network, entitled “The Moment of Truth.”  The basic concept is to have people admit to immoral, illegal, embarrassing, stupid, crass or just plain dumb behavior while attached to a “polygraph,” which purports to determine whether the answer given by the contestant is “truthful.”  Truthful answers are rewarded by cash, up to a half-million dollars.  It’s sickening to see what some folks will destroy in their own souls and relationships for money – even a lot of money.

The New York Times (January 25, 2008) described a scenario on the series’ premiere show: 

‘Ty, a personal trainer, said ‘yes’ when asked if he has delayed having children because he is not sure that Catia, his wife of 2 1/2 years, would be his ‘lifelong partner.’  After he replied, a disembodied female voice delivered the verdict:  ‘The answer is….(long dramatic beat) TRUE!’  The camera panned to Catia, who stopped smiling and murmured ‘I’m dying here.’  Her friend, April, turned to her and asked in a semi-whisper ‘Is it worth $100,000 to learn that?’”Well, financially, it wasn’t worth anything because when Ty was asked whether he had ever touched a female client more than was strictly necessary, his “no” was determined by the polygraph to be a lie, and he lost all his winnings

This is sick stuff.  All truths ought not to be spoken.

There is a new film out with a plot that I believe appropriately condemns society for caving into the basest part of human nature.  There is a “bad” guy who murders people and puts their lingering, torturous death on the Internet live.  The more people who log on….the faster and more horrific the victim’s death.  What happens?  Well, more people log on.  The parallel is inescapable.  Shame on Fox, but more so, shame on us.

Thanks for TEARING into Me!

I sometimes hear from people who think I’m too harsh on my callers.  There are many reasons for the way I deal with someone who calls my program, but my particular approach is always in direct response to what I intuit from the callers themselves.   Here’s an email I got from Morgan, who titled her correspondence “Thanks For Your Advice and for TEARING Into Me!”

I called you the other day, and was shocked to hear you for real in my ear!  My question was about why I was complaining about my fiancé a lot lately.  My complaints were about his extra weight, being quiet on road trips, an, lately, his constant wearing of a baseball hat!  You listened PATIENTLY to what I was nagging about, and then you truly laid into me…and well, I really needed it!

You told me that I wasn’t marrying myself, and if I wanted to be with someone exactly like me, well, marry myself (ha!), but not stay and complain.  You also stated that I was comparing him to me, and that wasn’t helpful.  He is his own man – a quiet, baseball hat-wearing man.  Then you said that I should thank him for putting up with me for so long.

It is really interesting to me that I have always prided myself on treating others the way I wish to be treated– my students, my colleagues, my friend–but that I had been treating my own fiancé in a negative, terrible and condescending manner, instead of thanking him every day for coming into my life.  He is the most gentle, generous and loyal person I know, and the truth is I have been feeling crappy about myself and projecting that onto him. 

Well, I went home and re-read “Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives,” and got to the part that asks the reader to think about whether they would want their future daughter to be dating their partner.  It really sunk in.
I’d love it if my future daughter would be dating someone like my fiancé, but I don’t think I’d want my future son dating someone like I have been lately!

Good wake-up call for me, Dr. Laura.  I’ve listened to you for eight years.  You are a true voice of reason, morality, and plain common sense in my head!

In Memoriam: Frank King

The way to my heart…is through my heart, and the family of Frank King did just that.

“King, Frank L., 84, beloved husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, died peacefully in his sleep at his home in North Tustin, California after a lengthy illness.”

Frank enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1943 and flew missions as a tail gunner, navigator, and radioman in World War II and Korea. For his service, he received numerous decorations and medals.  He had a “Marine” mindset his whole life, always following his credo: “What did we say we would do?  Then do it!”

Charice and Ron King, the son and daughter-in-law of Mr. King, contacted us about Operation Family Fund because they knew their beloved father “would be pleased” to have donations made in lieu of flowers. 

Mr. King is survived by a huge number of loving family and friends.  And now, because of this request, he is also survived by a huge number of families of fallen military.

In just a few days, more than $2000 has been sent to Operation Family Fund (OFF) in Mr. King’s respected name and memory.

Operation Family Fund and all of us at The Dr. Laura Program are humbly grateful for this gracious thoughtfulness.

I would like to offer my personal condolences to the family of friends of Mr. King, who was obviously a remarkable man.

Quote of the Week

This piece of advice is from Kathleen’s grandmother, who, at 69, has been married for 52 years:
 
“A woman holds all the control in the family.  She is the center of the home.  When she is happy, everyone is lifted, and when she is not, she can drag everyone down with her.  Be generous with your affection, and let the little things go.  And most importantly, if you don’t give your husband what he needs, he will look for it somewhere else.”
 
Sounds like she was practicing “The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands” long before I ever wrote the book!