Monthly Archives: April 2008

Military Training Good for American Youth

Recently, the news has been filled with reports regarding the military’s acceptance of increasing numbers of felons into their ranks. 

I still believe that each and every male and female who reaches the age of 18 should spend two years in military training.  Our young people are spending more and more of their precious twenties still being dependent children and/or getting into all sorts of trouble with sex, drugs, and violence.  Two years of military experience would toughen ‘em up, teach them self-discipline, give them an outlet for their immense unfocused energies, and provide an opportunity for them to become more mature, thinking individuals.

Sex Offenders As Child Care Workers

Over a decade ago, as a guest on the Donahue television show, while I was attempting to explain the concepts of “Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives” (my current book at the time) to a pre-arranged hostile audience, I was inundated with bitter challenges on the issue of day care, which, interestingly, wasn’t even an issue in the book.

Fed up with the nonsense, I took control from Donahue (no simple task) and challenged the audience members to stand up if, after dying and coming back a second time, they would actually choose to be raised by a nanny, baby-sitter, or day care center.  Funny thing….nobody got up.

As I have pointed out numerous times here, in my book “Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids,”  and on my radio program, adults have become so self-serving that the well-being and appropriate needs of children have been ferociously ignored or dismissed.  I’ve recently read national reports demonstrating that parents – even before they have children – are fighting for spots in day care centers!  I figure, if they can plan that far ahead, they certainly can plan to have a parent at home, or to wait to have children until they are able and willing to do the right thing for their family.

I have been thoroughly amazed at how the injuries, abuse, and deaths of children in day care centers has left many attending families angry – but angry with the authorities for closing them down!  Can you imagine that?

State auditors reviewing the California Department of Social Services compared the addresses of the state’s licensed facilities (including foster family homes and day care centers) with the state’s database of registered sex offenders, and found that the addresses of 49 sex offenders matched those of 46 child care facilities.  It should go without saying that convicted sex offenders shouldn’t be employed in a facility for children.

Nonetheless, of the 46 address matches, 25 were in Los Angeles, 8 in the Central California Valley, 7 in the San Francisco Bay area, 4 in San Diego, and 1 each in San Bernardino and Sacramento.  The verification process is under way – children are being interviewed, and some licenses are being suspended.  This “match up” procedure will surely miss the folks who got jobs under assumed names just to be nearer to children.

It would seem that some people go to great lengths to be close to our kids…maybe we should be holding our kids even closer.

4,914 Sex Sessions

With all the controversy about inappropriate sex (single women having babies out-of-wedlock on purpose, child sexual abuse in various religious orders, kids performing oral sex in middle school classrooms, etc.), it’s nice to know that I can share with you a positive, healthy, and utterly lovely sexual story.

Nancy K (I’m protecting her privacy!) wrote:
I’d like to respond to your radio program caller who, sadly, had sex with his wife about once every three to six months due to an over-packed lifestyle.  I’ve been married for 27 years to a great guy.  We’ve had our ups and downs-family troubles, kid troubles, you name it – some of them pretty devastating,  but our marriage has survived due to commitment, faith in God, and the intimacy that holds us together when the storms hit.

Since I can remember, we have sex every other day…yes, you read correctly.  Barring serious illness or surgery, even during the early years when our kids were young, through the teen years when we had kids all over the house, and now through the college years when my kids come home to visit, we have kept this pattern.  It has not always been easy!  Sometimes, we need to be creative.
We have a lock on our door, and a television in the bedroom as a sound buffer.  We have even “snuck” away from our home for a quick evening in a local, cheap hotel, and returned before bedtime, all for the price of a dinner and a movie out.  Sometimes, he drops by at lunch, if he’s out on a customer call, or I meet him.

I estimate that to be approximately 4,914 sessions!  Mind you, not all of these times are steamy hours of sex.  Some last only minutes, but the connection is there, and I can say with confidence that I challenge anything or anyone to come between us, because we are truly one.

When marriages allow all the intimacy to be sucked out of their lives, they will not have anything to cling to when trouble comes, and it will come in some form during your marriage.  I don’t always feel like having sex, but I always feel like being close to him, and by seeing the best in my man, respecting him and his needs, and honoring him.  I find that I can almost always get “in the mood” because he values me.

My hubby bought me “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” as a little gift one day – and I read it and loved it.  I picked up some new pointers, and used it as a refresher course to jump-start an already-good marriage.

I quoted this letter in full because I believe that the most devastating aspect of a marriage is one in which the spouses take each other for granted, serve their own moods or desires, and don’t wake up every day wondering what they can do to make the other’s life worth living.

Are Disabled Children Dispensable?

Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA) is adamant in his support for abortion on demand.  Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS) is as adamant in his support for the illegalization of abortion.  However, as odd as it may seem, they have joined forces in a bill (S1810), the “Prenatally and Postnatally Diagnosed Condition Awareness Act.”  Their bill would require parents faced with pre- and post-natal diagnoses of disability to receive “timely, scientific, and nondirective counseling about the conditions”  as well as “up-to-date, comprehensive information about life expectancy, development potential, and quality of life”  for a child born with Down syndrome or any other genetic disability, as well as “referrals to providers of key support services.”

Their hope is that when parents receive a more complete picture, more of them will welcome their disabled babies into the world, instead of choosing termination.  Nice bedfellows.

Father and Mother Know Best

“Home-schooled students are routinely high performers on standardized academic tests, beating their public school peers on average by as much as 30 percentile points, regardless of the subject.  They perform well on tests like the SAT – and colleges actively recruit them both for their high scores and the diversity they bring to campus.” (Wall Street Journal 3/22/08).

The 166,000 families in California that choose to educate their children at home do so largely for three reasons:  religious, protecting their children from gangs and drugs, and mostly because they want to ensure their children a good education.

Considering the overwhelming success of home-schooling, one would think it perplexing that a California court ruled in March that parents cannot home-school their children without government certification.  Fascinating, since non-credentialed parents spend their time teaching English, math and science precisely because they don’t think the public schools do a good enough job!

You should know that this whole court case was not about quality of education.  The case was initiated by the Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services after one – ONE – home-schooled child reportedly complained of physical abuse by his father.  A lawyer assigned to that child invoked the truancy law to get the children enrolled in a public school and away from the parents (California law requires children between six and 18 to attend a full-time day school.  Failure to comply means breaking the truancy laws).

So, a single case of parental abuse is being used to promote the certification of all parents who make that huge commitment to their children’s education.  Unbelievable.

Between 1999 and 2003, the rate of home-schooling increased by 29% and the performance results speak for themselves.  Of course, the California Teacher’s Union is ecstatic about this outcome – in spite of the facts that demonstrate that, on the average, children do better academically outside of their classrooms.

Instructions for Death by Suicide

People searching the Internet for information about suicide are more likely to find sites actually encouraging suicide than those offering help or support.

Professors of psychiatry and epidemiology from several universities in England found that nearly half of websites showing up in queries of the four top search engines (Google, Yahoo, MSN, and gave “how to” advice on taking one’s own life.  Only 13 per cent focused on suicide prevention or offered support, while another 12 per cent actively discouraged suicide.

According to this study, “Information on methods is not the only way that the Internet can contribute to suicidal behavior.  Contributors to chat rooms may exert peer pressure to commit suicide, idolize those who have completed suicide, and facilitate suicide pacts.  Such discussion may lessen any doubts or fears of people who are uncertain about suicide….[Researchers] observed that people posting notes concerning suicide on the web are often initially ambivalent, but that their resolve strengthens as others encourage them, and backing out or seeking help becomes more difficult.

It may be more fruitful for service providers to provide website optimization strategies to maximize the likelihood that suicidal people access helpful, rather than potentially harmful, sites in time of crisis.”

Frankly, I find it disgusting that these search engines do not vet their sites and allow such a proliferation of sadism; this is taking the concept of freedom of speech to an absurd point.  There needs to be a more humane balance between freedom of expression and public protection.  Currently, the main approaches to reducing the potential harm of suicide sites include self-regulation by Internet service providers and use of filtering software by parents to block sites from susceptible children.

Since 2006, it has been illegal in Australia to use the Internet to promote or provide practical details concerning suicide, and Internet service providers in Japan and Korea have attempted to block specific sites providing similar information.


The Value of Your Life Just Dropped!

Evidently, there are so many identity thieves that the intense competition has driven the prices for stealing your identity way down. Credit card numbers were selling for as little as 40 cents each (dropping 50%), and access to your bank account was going to ten dollars in the second half of 2007, according to the latest twice-yearly “Internet Security Threat Report” from Symantec Corporation.

Full identities – including a functioning credit card number, Social Security Number or equivalent, and a person’s name, address and date of birth – are going for as little as two dollars apiece! Your life can be wrecked for about ten dollars.

Stolen identities of European Union citizens, however, sell for considerably more than American identities – they go for about thirty dollars, because those identities can be used in multiple countries.