With all the controversy about inappropriate sex (single women having babies out-of-wedlock on purpose, child sexual abuse in various religious orders, kids performing oral sex in middle school classrooms, etc.), it’s nice to know that I can share with you a positive, healthy, and utterly lovely sexual story.
Nancy K (I’m protecting her privacy!) wrote:
I’d like to respond to your radio program caller who, sadly, had sex with his wife about once every three to six months due to an over-packed lifestyle. I’ve been married for 27 years to a great guy. We’ve had our ups and downs-family troubles, kid troubles, you name it – some of them pretty devastating, but our marriage has survived due to commitment, faith in God, and the intimacy that holds us together when the storms hit.
Since I can remember, we have sex every other day…yes, you read correctly. Barring serious illness or surgery, even during the early years when our kids were young, through the teen years when we had kids all over the house, and now through the college years when my kids come home to visit, we have kept this pattern. It has not always been easy! Sometimes, we need to be creative.
We have a lock on our door, and a television in the bedroom as a sound buffer. We have even “snuck” away from our home for a quick evening in a local, cheap hotel, and returned before bedtime, all for the price of a dinner and a movie out. Sometimes, he drops by at lunch, if he’s out on a customer call, or I meet him.
I estimate that to be approximately 4,914 sessions! Mind you, not all of these times are steamy hours of sex. Some last only minutes, but the connection is there, and I can say with confidence that I challenge anything or anyone to come between us, because we are truly one.
When marriages allow all the intimacy to be sucked out of their lives, they will not have anything to cling to when trouble comes, and it will come in some form during your marriage. I don’t always feel like having sex, but I always feel like being close to him, and by seeing the best in my man, respecting him and his needs, and honoring him. I find that I can almost always get “in the mood” because he values me.
My hubby bought me “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” as a little gift one day – and I read it and loved it. I picked up some new pointers, and used it as a refresher course to jump-start an already-good marriage.
I quoted this letter in full because I believe that the most devastating aspect of a marriage is one in which the spouses take each other for granted, serve their own moods or desires, and don’t wake up every day wondering what they can do to make the other’s life worth living.