I got this email from a self-described former “bad” wife, and I’ll let it speak for itself:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Some people are recovering alcoholics. I am a recovering bad wife. I don’t know much about the 12 step programs, but from the little TV I watch, I recall that the first step is to recognize that you have a problem, so here I go:
My name is S., and I am a bad wife. My addiction is not alcohol. My addiction is the “blame-it-all-on-the-husband” or “take-it-all-out-on-the-husband addiction.
I know you’ve described all of my symptoms much better than I can and much more eloquently in “The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands,” and that you’ve also given me the solutions to become a better wife, but I think my first step needs to be acknowledging my problem.
I acknowledge that I have too much on my plate, and that I cannot do it all well, and that my husband’s needs and desires have been at the bottom of my priority list for a long time. People will tell you I am a really nice person, always ready to help, and yet the one person I should be caring about the most (my husband), does not get the respect, the love, and the care that he deserves.
As of today, I am no longer a bad wife. I am a recovering bad wife, and I vow to be the girlfriend and wife my husband deserves.
Thank you, Dr. Laura, for hammering good sense into my head.