Monthly Archives: September 2009

Guys Brag About It

You’ve heard me talk about the differences between men and women (beyond the obvious physical ones).  One of my listeners has come smack up against the one where guys talk about their sexual prowess, and she now questions her own position that intimate details are private matters.  I have an answer for her:

Video: Guys Brag About It

Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.

Read transcript here.

Cheating Husband Does Public Penance

William Taylor, from a Washington, D.C. suburb, cheated on his wife.  How do I know that?  Because he held a sign near Tyson’s Corner Mall that read:  “I cheated and this is my punishment.”  He stayed out on the corner for most of the morning commute, creating quite a commotion.  He and his wife brokered the deal.  He figured he had to do what she asked in order to make things right.

When Fox TV interviewed women, they all loved the idea.  The print version of the story appeared on www.foxnews.com and it was followed by a series of reader comments.  Some of the responses suggested that castration was the best punishment for infidelity.  One (obviously male) writer pointed out that women seem to enjoy publicly humiliating men, but would not tolerate the reverse for exactly the same situation.

That is true.  Feminism’s perspective is that no matter what a woman does, it is the man’s fault, and whatever a man does is the man’s fault.  Hypothetical example:  a man and woman rob a bank.  He’s a bad guy, and she is duped, clouded by love, or dominated by his will.  She’s a sad victim, instead of a co-conspirator.  Another example:  a married man has an affair which lasts two weeks.  He comes guilt-ridden to his wife and confesses.  He tells her he’s been so emotionally and sexually ignored by her for ten years, that he just absolutely needed some feminine attention and affection.  She ignores everything that comes after the confession and spends her time punishing him and whining to all who will listen.

Women rarely take responsibility for any negative relationship issues, and that’s largely because of the feminist brainwashing which has made them see all men as Darth Vader. 

Here’s another point:  in the development of our country, being humiliated in the public square was a standard form of punishment — remember “stocks” and “pillories” from American history class?  There is something positive to be said about this concept of punishment – for men or women. 

When we lived in small communities, the power of shame was potent, and probably dissuaded many from inappropriate behavior of all sorts.  The thought of being embarrassed in public is horrendous to most people, since our reputations are everything in interpersonal relationships.

I bet that a lot of spouses, seeing this fellow out there, will remember him when they consider straying.  Consider it a kind of prophylactic for infidelity.

Quote of the Week

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
               – Doug Larson
                  American newspaper columnist
                  “Senator Soaper Says…”

And indeed, it is, so have a happy and safe holiday weekend!

Labor Day Stamp

Christopher Reeve’s Son’s Poignant Comments

I remember the day well:  the day Superman was hit with kryptonite.  I was setting up an appointment to learn how to ride a horse, when the news bulletin came out that Christopher Reeve fell off his horse while jumping, and would either die or be permanently paralyzed from the neck down.

I could hardly breathe hearing this news.  Here was a gorgeous, tall, strong man – Superman, no less – who had ridden horses forever, and a freak accident took his body away.  Two years after he died, his adoring, supportive wonderful wife died of lung cancer, and she never smoked a cigarette in her life.

I cancelled my horse-riding lesson and upped the schedule for walking my dog.

What was impressive about all of this?

1. Reeve’s friends were always there for him (in private and public).  This included helping raise funds for spinal cord injury research, as well as getting him acting and directing work to help him pay for his own maintenance and living expenses. 
2. Reeve himself never stopped working and bringing the spinal cord injury issue to the public.  Here was a once strapping man who didn’t flinch to show his withered side in public, because he had a “cause.”
3. His lovely wife stood by him (something I brought up many times to women who called my radio program complaining about this or that about their husbands).

And my heart went out to his kids.  One of them, Matthew Reeve, is now 20, a Brown University graduate who has organized various events and appearances for the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation, which supports programs and research for spinal cord injury.  This fall, honoring the five year anniversary of his father’s death, Matthew is running the New York City Marathon in hopes of raising more money for spinal cord injury research.  The New York Times interviewed him, and one of his comments is particular important for you to read:

 ”I’m constantly grateful and appreciative of being able to do the simplest,  most basic functions, and the fact that I have good health and can move  normally.  That’s something I’ve been more aware of and grateful for since  the age of 15 than most people.  There is a sense of, well, I can and I  should.”

I was so taken by his comment:  “I can and I should.”  When you can, you owe something back.  So for all of you out there, think about what it is you can, and therefore should do.  Think hard…and then do it.

Anne Heche Plays The Blame Game

I usually spend little to no time at all on the “celebrity” sections of Internet news sites.  Frankly, I don’t care what celebrities are doing, except in a performance for which I pay good money.  Every now and then, however, something comes to my attention that does make me want to comment.  This time, it’s about actress Anne Heche.

Apparently, Anne Heche went on the Late Show with David Letterman and ragged on her ex-husband.  She made fun of him collecting checks from her (as mandated by the court as spousal support) following their divorce.

Tacky, mean, vindictive and very self-serving.

Not long ago, I took a call from a woman who was complaining about her ex-shack-up honey’s girlfriend, (the “homewrecker” as she called her).  Here’s the gist of how that call went:

Me: Is this woman someone who took vows of fidelity to you?
Caller:  NO
Me:  Is this man someone who took vows of fidelity to you?
Caller:  NO.
Me: Is this man someone you simply shacked up with without a commitment?
Caller:  YES.
Me: Did you decide to create two children in this insecure situation?
Caller:  YES
Me: And you’re mad at HER???

While these two situations seem unrelated, they most certainly are related.  How?  When a person makes foolish decisions and then complains about the most typical, logical and predictable outcome, that is a person totally out of touch with the reality of life.  YOU make choices;  YOU should be willing to take responsibility for those choices and stop looking and acting as if you are an innocent victim of life’s tidal waves.

Anne Heche did a terrible thing to her ex-husband by humiliating him in public.  What did he do to earn that?  The court mandated the financial support.  I don’t know the quality of choice she made in a husband, nor do I know what quality of wife she was.  All I see is that she is not classy, and that she takes no public responsibility for the demise of her marriage.

Blaming everything and everyone else may be humorous if you do it on the Letterman show, but it doesn’t speak to the truth (and ultimately, we all live with the truth).  She should have said nothing, or added “y’know, I have to take responsibility for my choices and actions here.  I don’t like that a grown man is taking spousal support, but I have some responsibility for this marital fiasco too.”  Now THAT would be classy….and closer to the truth.

Married, But In Love with Ex

The whirlwind courtship is over and hopefully you settle into a great marriage.  Sometimes, however, you feel a “tug” from the past and think you’re in love with someone other than your spouse.  That’s what happened to one of my listeners, who wrote me, wondering if she had a problem:

Video: Married, But in Love with Ex

Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.

Read transcript here