Be Their Parent, Not Their Friend

Even the best parents in the world can produce crappy kids. On the flip side, some of the worst parents can produce really wonderful, functioning kids.  That’s the reality.  However, it’s also the exception. Just because it happens doesn’t give you license to be a crappy parent.

My basic definition of a crappy parent is someone who doesn’t have parenting on their agenda.  Parents today are, by and large, self-absorbed. There’s very little focus on discipline, integrity, boundaries, fairness, and honesty, much less spirituality.  That’s because they’re busy with others things that are more important to them than parenting.

One in four parents polled say they don’t tell their kids off because they want them to have an easier life.  But that’s a total lie. It’s the parents who want to have the easier life. They’re so busy with their work schedules and social lives that they let their kids do whatever they want rather than be bothered with the hassle of disciplining them.  They hand them over to nannies, day care centers, and baby sitters, and go on their way.  I’d say almost half of women, if not more, would have a kid on Monday, go back to work on Wednesday, and not look back or feel guilty. They’d be as happy as peach pie to not have to deal with “the little brat”.

The reality is, we’re no longer a kid-centric society. According to a recent report from the Pew Research Center, close to 40 percent of working mothers are the sole or primary breadwinners of their families (that’s up from just 11 percent in 1960).  What’s even more striking: 60 percent of “breadwinner moms” aren’t married.  Three-quarters of adults say that the increasing number of women working has made it harder for parents to raise children.  With Mom out working, divorcing, screwing around, bringing new boyfriends into the house, and remarrying, it’s no wonder kids don’t respect their parents! Today, you can look a kid in the face and they’ll spit in your eye.

In general, parents need to stop being so deathly afraid of upsetting their kids.  When your child does something wrong, quit blaming others and suing schools and coaches because you don’t want your self-entitled little sweetheart to have hurt feelings. It’s time to stop being our kids’ friends and be their parents.