Christopher Reeve’s Son’s Poignant Comments

 Email This Post

I remember the day well:  the day Superman was hit with kryptonite.  I was setting up an appointment to learn how to ride a horse, when the news bulletin came out that Christopher Reeve fell off his horse while jumping, and would either die or be permanently paralyzed from the neck down.

I could hardly breathe hearing this news.  Here was a gorgeous, tall, strong man - Superman, no less - who had ridden horses forever, and a freak accident took his body away.  Two years after he died, his adoring, supportive wonderful wife died of lung cancer, and she never smoked a cigarette in her life.

I cancelled my horse-riding lesson and upped the schedule for walking my dog.

What was impressive about all of this?

1. Reeve’s friends were always there for him (in private and public).  This included helping raise funds for spinal cord injury research, as well as getting him acting and directing work to help him pay for his own maintenance and living expenses. 
2. Reeve himself never stopped working and bringing the spinal cord injury issue to the public.  Here was a once strapping man who didn’t flinch to show his withered side in public, because he had a “cause.”
3. His lovely wife stood by him (something I brought up many times to women who called my radio program complaining about this or that about their husbands).

And my heart went out to his kids.  One of them, Matthew Reeve, is now 20, a Brown University graduate who has organized various events and appearances for the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation, which supports programs and research for spinal cord injury.  This fall, honoring the five year anniversary of his father’s death, Matthew is running the New York City Marathon in hopes of raising more money for spinal cord injury research.  The New York Times interviewed him, and one of his comments is particular important for you to read:

 ”I’m constantly grateful and appreciative of being able to do the simplest,  most basic functions, and the fact that I have good health and can move  normally.  That’s something I’ve been more aware of and grateful for since  the age of 15 than most people.  There is a sense of, well, I can and I  should.”

I was so taken by his comment:  “I can and I should.”  When you can, you owe something back.  So for all of you out there, think about what it is you can, and therefore should do.  Think hard…and then do it.

In Terms of Beauty, Women Evolve, but Men Don’t

 Email This Post

Romantically, beauty may be in the eyes of the beholder, but according to a new report from research done in Helsinki and London, girls are getting prettier, and guys are…well…not getting more handsome.

“Scientists have found that evolution is driving women to become ever more beautiful, while men remain as aesthetically unappealing as their caveman ancestors,” reports The London Times.  Evidently, beautiful women have more children than their plainer counterparts, and a higher proportion of those children are females who tend to be attractive.  A researcher at the University of Helsinki found beautiful women had up to 16% more children than plain women.  An evolutionary psychologist at the London School of Economics proclaimed that good-looking parents were far more likely to conceive daughters.  The most attractive parents (out of 15,000 Americans who were “judged”) were 26% less likely to have sons.

“Physical attractiveness is a highly heritable trait, which disproportionately increases the reproductive success of daughters much more than of sons.  If more attractive parents have more daughters, and if physical attractiveness is heritable, it logically follows that women over many generations gradually become more physically attractive on average than men,”  the researcher said.

Well, here’s my take.  I don’t really know if any of this holds water, but let’s assume for a moment that it does.  This means that a lot of beautiful women are marrying plain men because they are less into “beauty” and more into other qualities (like loyalty, fidelity, ability to provide and protect, sexual prowess, and status), while men want women who are beautiful because their beauty is a source of status for the male and a measure of her overall health for child-bearing.

Nonetheless, I was quite impressed with the beyond gorgeous hunk Tom Selleck, when I learned that he married a rather plain-looking woman, and quite put off with Bruce Willis, when he married some hottie almost half his age.  To me, these choices told me the character and maturity of each man, with Selleck winning out.

All of these “soft science” reports are amusing, if not generally nonsense, and it is amazing how differently you feel about a person’s good looks after you meet and interact with them as opposed to just viewing a two-dimensional photograph.

My main point here is this:  it’s a fact that we are first attracted or repelled by looks (no kidding).  However, I suggest you try MY experiment:  walk through a mall or a flower garden, and look at the people paired up and holding hands or talking softly to one another.   It’s rare that one or both is “beautiful,” but it is not rare that they are happy with the depth of compassion, attention, affection, support, fun, and happiness that they obviously share.

The moral to this story?  Have good hygiene, make the most of the physical qualities you have, and don’t focus at all on your looks (or anyone else’s for that matter).  Put your best behavioral foot forward, and be open to meeting friends and a possible life partner based, instead, on how you make each other feel.

Teen Sailor Gets Dissed by the Associated Press

 Email This Post

A now 17-year-old boy from Thousand Oaks, California recently sailed, by himself, some 28,000 miles in one year on a 36-foot sailboat.  Zac Sunderland was 16 when he left Marina del Rey harbor in June, 2008.

The Associated Press writer was a bit snarky, I think, when writing: “But the shaggy-haired Thousand Oaks native might not hold the record of being the youngest person to sail around the world alone for long.  British sailor Mike Perham is a few months younger than Sunderland, and is sailing a bigger, faster boat.”

If I were Zac’s mother, this would have annoyed me.  I’m not his mother, but it annoys me.  Assuming she or he wants to keep a scrapbook commemorating his sailing exploits, what a snarky thing to have included.  “A few months…a bigger, faster boat.”  So what?

Here is a 16 (now 17) year old kid who, instead of partying, abusing drugs, alcohol or hanging out with silly girls, instead of spending hours on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or whatever, instead of hanging in his room sullen, instead of causing trouble at school, instead of driving too fast in the car he shouldn’t have been given in the first place, instead of a lot of typical teenage boy activities, took on a challenge that was to test his ability to discipline himself, live austerely, deal with unpredictable weather and seas, survive loneliness and fear, and fix equipment failures when warranted.

Shoving up his nose in print that someone else trying it is younger and has a better boat, shows, in my opinion, a complete ignorance of the difficulties and challenges he had to face.  It is remarkable for such a young person to brave all the elements of wind and sea to take an incredible journey on his own.  I am sure he now has a healthy respect for nature, life and himself.  I am sure he won’t hesitate to face many other challenges on land.  I am sure he won’t be abusing himself or substances to get a “rush.”  I am sure he’s a fine young man who should be an inspiration to other teens.  You are never too young to have a dream and go for it.

I’m sure his mom is very proud.  She should be!

72-Year-Old Woman Tries To Have a Child

 Email This Post

I should have curly hair by now, especially considering the shenanigans and cruelty perpetrated on children by self-centered adults who have the title “parent.”  Their behavior would curl anyone’s hair.

A 72-year-old woman realized that she “always wanted a child, but spent [her] younger years devoted to academics, achieving degrees in medical sciences and zoology.  I’d always had it in the back of my mind that when the time was right I’d like to have a child.  But my studies meant that children kept getting delayed.  The right time finally came in my early 50s, and since then, I’ve been attempting, and failing, with IVF [in-vitro fertilization].”

This excuse for a prospective mother has never had a long term relationship (no time for that either), and therefore doesn’t even have an ancient daddy to provide for the child.  As for her age?  Well, she figures anyone can die at any time (and she’s a scientist?  She’s supposed to understand actuarial tables).  She really believes she’s going to last long enough in good enough health, or she says she’ll “ask one of my younger friends to be a guardian.”

So, IF she conceives (and I sincerely hope her 20 years of fertility failure continue), she’ll play with the kid and then just pass him or her off to some friend.  Great.

Remember the Italian woman, then the oldest to give birth in 2006 at the age of 67?  She died recently.  You can count the age of her orphaned child on less than one hand.

If this woman succeeds, she will have the title of the oldest mother in the world.  I would suggest that she will be the oldest female creature to give birth, as a real mother would never set up her own child for this selfish foolishness.  I wish this fertility doctor would have his license revoked.  The same should happen to the American doctor who impregnated the “Octomom.”

Freedoms without limits automatically encroach upon good sense, compassion, and someone else’s well-being.  This is just another example of how insignificant the needs of children have become as compared to the impulsive, self-centered desires of adults who want children, but who don’t necessarily want to be bothered by the needs of children.

The Pope, The Rabbi and Condoms

 Email This Post

During his recent African trip, Pope Benedict XVI said that the distribution of condoms would not resolve the AIDS problem.  The Pope has made it clear that abstinence is going to be the best way to fight AIDS.

Google “Pope” and “condoms,” and you’ll never run out of reading material excoriating the man for his observation and opinion.  Many health advocates have gone ballistic in their criticism of his comments.  They feel it is one thing to promote abstinence as part of the Catholic religion, but that it is an entirely different thing to preach it to the world.

On a person-by-person basis, wearing a condom does, of course, offer some protection against contracting various venereal diseases and (of course) unwanted pregnancy.  It is also true that condoms sometimes break, slip, or are put on incorrectly (taut to the very end).  Everything has its limitations…except abstinence.

I remember listening to a rabbi describing a situation that occurred to his kosher family.  His 7 year old child was invited to a birthday party for a classmate at one of those fast-food hamburger establishments.  When he came to pick up his child at the end of the party, one of the mothers - clearly annoyed - chastised him for the pain he caused his son.  “All the children had hamburgers, chicken nuggets, french fries and dessert, and your little boy had to sit there and eat none of it.  Imagine how terrible your son must have felt?  How could you do this to him?  Food is food.  There is nothing sinful about food.  What you are doing to him is just cruel.”  Just about at the end of her tirade, his son bounded up to him, gave him a huge hug around the waist, and said “I had a great time.  This was a fun party.”

The woman blanched and walked away.  The rabbi followed her and gently told her the following:  animals will eat whatever is around, even if it will make them unhealthy.  Humans are to rise above animals and become masters of their urges.  Imagine my son in a dorm room where harmful illicit drugs are being passed about.  We already know that peer pressure and urges will not force him to relent and give in to the impulse.  Learning at his early age to control impulse and desire is not a harmful trait - many times, it might be a life-saving one.  Look at him.  He enjoyed the company of your son and the rest of the children without giving up his values.  He looks happy and satisfied.  We really need to bring up our children to be masters of their instincts, not slaves to them, don’t you think?
The woman scowled, but listened to him.

Yes, in any one instance, a condom could protect, but in the overall scheme of humanity, why do so many people wish to push away the enormous protective power of moral values?

When the Pope suggests that human beings are best off saving their sexual passion for the stability of a covenant of marriage, he is making a statement that the act of sexuality is elevated by the context, and ultimately protects both man and woman from a myriad of hurtful consequences from venereal diseases to unwanted pregnancies (complete with abortions, abandonment, single-parenthood, and homelessness to name a few).

The naysayers all have one thing in common:  they refuse to want, believe or accept that human beings can commit to a higher spiritual state of thought and behavior.  The Pope believes in us more than that.

I am not Catholic, so this is no knee-jerk defense of my spiritual leader.  The truth is that he is simply correct and too many people don’t want to hear it, because they want to live lives unfettered by rules.  It is sad that they don’t realize that this makes them a slave to animal impulse versus a master of human potential.

The Value of Honesty

 Email This Post

As children do in general, when I was a small child, I lied to my parents when I got caught doing something I shouldn’t have, or not doing something I should have.  The reason why lying is so popular among children is that it is their attempt to keep out of trouble and avoid punishment.

After a while, as children mature, they learn that lying is worse than the dumb thing they did (like eat all the potato chips before their parents’ party started), because it hurts the relationship by destroying trust.  In addition, lying brought consequences - dire consequences in the old days (spankings) and stupid consequences in the present (loss of cell phone privileges for a few days), or none at all (when parents are just too busy).Nonetheless, the value of honesty (as demanded in the commandment not to bear false witness) has been a cornerstone in this country’s value system about measuring character in individuals.

We already have way too many “role models” who actually make superficial lifestyles, drugs, casual sex, and domestic violence attractive to our children, making it harder and harder to tell them “That’s wrong to do, and if you do it, you will be publicly embarrassed, and your life will get off track.”  There isn’t much in society to back that statement up anymore.

I am soooooo glad I don’t have a young child at home anymore.  Sitting at breakfast last week, watching the so-called news, I looked up to see Senate Banking Committee Chairman Christopher Dodd say (and I paraphrase) that the line in the federal stimulus bill which would have given over $100 million in bonuses to AIG executives - the ones responsible for the company’s demise - if they were promised before February 11th, was nothing he knew about.  “When I left work after writing that part of the bill…that sentence wasn’t there.”

I sat there “chewing” on his statement, wondering what gremlin snuck into his office and typed that sentence while he was home in the bosom of his family.  My question was answered within seconds as a second news clip was shown with him admitting the HE was the gremlin, but then he threw the White House under the bus with, “They made me do it.”

Now I am mortified.  “I didn’t have sex with that woman,” and “I didn’t’ write the sentence that stole money from Americans to give bonuses to high-ranking losers” have entered the ranks of the story about George Washington admitting to his dad that he cut down the cherry tree.

I could see my kid right now…”Ah, mommy, what’s the story here?”  You said lying was bad, and bad things would come of it, like at least looking bad, but he’s still going to be a Senator tomorrow.”

Millions of you out there have children who saw what I saw.  What are you going to say to them about corruption at the highest levels that ultimately gets just a “wink and a nod?”  What about all those courses in school where “character matters?”  Where does it matter in public anymore?  Some of you can fall back on “God knows, and for all eternity, it WILL make a difference.”  I like that a lot, except children don’t think long-term, nor do they dwell on the importance of what they can’t see.

Asian countries have it right - they threaten people with the anger and shame of their ancestors.  America has it wrong.  It would seem to children that the only really important quality needed to become a public figure is to not give a damn about right and wrong or what people think, or that a lie is anything but an expedient tool with no meaningful consequences.

Oh, yeah, the White House is acting all outraged about the AIG bonuses at the same time it is apparently the source of the benevolent donation to the failed executive fund of AIG.  Is this what they mean by the “trickle down” theory?

Were I to have a child by my side this morning, I would say:  “Beloved child, when you read history books (and not the purged ones you get at school, but real history books), you will see that success and honesty are not necessarily bed partners.  Nonetheless, never do anything you would be ashamed to have your kids know you did or have them do.  I would rather you lost everything you worked for, rather than lose your soul.”  I figure the more you tell kids this from the day they’re born to the day you die, we’ll have some people in this life we can trust.

Britney Spears and Kohl’s Team Up…To Subvert Morals

 Email This Post

Kohl’s Department Store has signed a deal with Britney Spears for her to “represent” their Juniors clothing line - you know, the line for young girls.  Part of this deal is to promote her music and current tour.  Parents, here’s a sample of what Kohl’s sees as a great match for your daughter:

“Get Naked”
My body is calling out for you, bad boy
I get the feeling that I just want to be with ya’
Baby, I’m a freak and I don’t really give a damn
I’m crazy as a mother ‘effer’
Bet that on ya man

Get naked…would you mind?
Take it off (I took it off)
Get naked.

Her so-called “Circus” tour is highlighted on YouTube.  Ya gotta love the guys in leather thongs and those tassel pasties she sports.  Frankly, she makes Madonna’s Virgin tour look downright virginal.

Kohl’s Department Store must know that:
* Her first marriage lasted 55 hours.
* Her second marriage lasted a bit longer
* She posed in the nude for Harper’s Bazaar
* She flashed a naked crotch at photographers getting out of her car
* She has been busted for drug use
* She lost custody of her children because of child endangerment issues
* And on and on….just the role model for our young daughters of today.

Did you know that Spears was named the “Most Searched Person” in the Guinness Book of World Records in 2007 and 2009?  Kohl’s probably thinks that “attention is attention” - what the hell if it sells junior-size schmatas?

One of my listeners wrote a letter of complaint to Kohl’s, stating that she is “very sad to learn Britney Spears is a part of your store.  She has had such troubles and still is not in charge of her life, nor has she been found competent to raise her own kids.   You have elected to reward her and flaunt her irresponsible behavior.  We will no longer shop at Kohl’s.”

I read the (probably) form letter that Kohl’s wrote in response, which purported to “regret that you have concerns regarding this decision.  Ms. Spears is an international celebrity and pop culture icon who embodies the spirit of the Candie’s brand and personifies the iconic ‘Candie’s Girl:’  flirty, self-confident, and stylish.”

Their letter goes on to say that Britney has a right to privacy (are you kidding?  Twisting tongues with Madonna on a stage demonstrates a desire for privacy??), and her personal life does not reflect the views of Kohl’s Department Stores.

Flirty, self-confident and stylish?  How ’bout “piggish, out of control, and irresponsible parent?”  She is, however, PAYING Kevin Federline (a/k/a “Daddy”) some $5,000 per week while she blasts around with this vulgar tour which should make billions.

How stupid does Kellogg’s now feel for dumping Michael Phelps for sucking up pot through a bong?  They actually thought that values, character and role-model responsibilities mean something!  Silly, silly them.

You parents ultimately decide where your children shop and what they buy.  Try being responsible and stand up for values. 

Bribery?! Haven’t We Been There, Done That?

 Email This Post

The Health section of The New York Times on March 2 debated the usefulness of bribing school children with money, toys, candy and electronic gizmos to have them attain better grades.

When I was in school, it was cute stickers and the pride of getting a good grade that you could brag about that made your parents all sorts of happy.  The good grade was the proximate award for all the hard work.  Getting the reputation as being smart was a good thing, and becoming valedictorian was great, as was qualifying for scholarships of all sizes for college.  Spending a lifetime knowing you worked hard and earned what you had the hard way was the long-term reward.

Now, some geniuses want to rob children of all of that.  These greater minds than ours want children to fight for things of substance (money) rather than for things of glory (purpose).  Not all endeavors have a high rate of financial return:  a hospice worker helps the dying and their families face their fears of death; a fireman runs into burning buildings to save complete strangers from a horrible death; kindergarten teachers introduce our children to the world of budding independence, self-confidence, social maneuvering and the alphabet…and that’s only a few examples.

Frankly, we need more kind and compassionate people than we do more “A” students in this world, as it turns out that the greatest thieves (many CEOs, crooked politicians and Ponzi scheme giants), terrorist masterminds, and general sociopaths all have very high IQ levels and got great grades.

How about us giving financial rewards, candy and electronic gizmos to kids who go out of their way not to bully, tease, steal, lie, sexually harass, or sexually act-out?  Or to those who won’t drink or take drugs or steal or backtalk their elders? 

Would that work, I wonder?