When Others Are Hurting, Can You Still Have A Good Day?

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A number of people have expressed to me that they feel somewhat guilty that their lives are so blessed and/or peaceful right now while people are being blown up in Afghanistan, Pakistan and other places - and by their own countrymen!  Or that people are suffering and dying by the tens of thousands in Haiti in the aftermath of a devastating earthquake.

“How [they ask] can I dare to have a good day when all of this is happening?”

I think that’s a good question asked by decent people. 

The answer is simple:  what choice do you have?

Shall you undermine yourself and those who count on you by crumbling under the awareness of this cruelty of people and nature?  Does that add to the miserly of the world?  YES.  Does that minimize the misery of the world?  NO.

Your job is to do and be your best and to bring light into darkness in your own mind and home, and among family, friends, and community.  Where you have the wherewithal and the expertise to extend that to deserving people and places, do so because all humanity benefits by your action of caring - if not aided directly, then at the very least inspired by your example.

Where you can’t extend yourself to some place around the world, be cognizant that compassion and love in a circle around you has a ripple effect to help perfect the world for whatever moments of bliss might exist.  They add up. 

Whether close at hand or off to a distant land, when you extend mercy, you do an act which magnificently defines humanity.

Five Ways to Be Happier

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At the beginning of the new year, people tend to make lists or resolutions.  I have five tips for you to help you be happier in the coming months.

1. You may have to recognize that you inherited some propensities which are counter to a happy attitude:  less emotional stability, less social activity, less physical activity than others.  However, you may have also grown up with people who “bounce” or “squish,” and you’ve learned to deal with life through parental example - good and bad.  So, some things you’ve learned might have to be “un-learned” or consciously worked against in order for you to be happy. 

2. After performing good deeds, people are happier.  That’s a fact.  And when many of you feel “mulchy,” you tend to withdraw from people or just get downright nasty.  That’s counter-productive at best.  Coming out of that dark place you’re in to bring light to someone else shines back on you.

3. Winston Churchill said that a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, but an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.  Attitude is everything.  I’ve taken people from “yuck” to giggles during three minute calls on my radio program just by using humor and getting them to “remember” a blessing or chuckle in their lives.  You can simmer on “negative” or try to replace that with something “wonderful.”  It’s your choice.

4. Physical activity diminishes cortisol (the adrenal gland hormone secreted by angry or scared people which also increases blood pressure) and increases endorphins (which are natural, free and legal mood elevators, and give you a natural “high”).

5. Maturity works in your favor.  As you spend more time on the face of the earth, you learn to endure and filter out the negatives, while focusing on what you truly enjoy.

Happiness takes some time and some work…and it is worth it.

Kids Don’t Have To Go To Bed Hungry

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At a recent media fundraiser, I was asked how a parent in southern California could best tell a child why he or she would have to go to bed hungry.  My answer (which was met with some silence) was that in southern California, there is absolutely no reason for any child to go to bed hungry, and that parents should do whatever it takes, legally, to make sure that didn’t happen.

That means going to your local church and other available community resources for temporary assistance, getting some part-time, even menial, work in the evening for some extra income, going to “big box” stores with friends or relatives to pool your resources and buy cheaply in bulk….I could go on and on.

I remember one point in my own family’s life when we went through every pocket of every jacket and pair of pants, every drawer, and every little “box-like” entity in the house to pool together enough money to go to McDonald’s with our son.  I remember crying in the mall one day, because we didn’t have enough cash for a second pair of shoes for him.  I remember being angry and scared, and I remember hunkering down with my husband to figure out how to solve the problem.  I’ve been there.

Dave Ramsey is in print and on just about every television program, giving good advice on what to do about your financial situation.  Check him out.

Blessings in Disguise

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I have always been impressed with the mentality of the Mormons with respect to the issue of charity.  I had a tour of their main charity facilities, and was amazed at what I saw and learned.  There are absolutely no handouts – they barter!

Here’s how it works:  if you could lose your home, or if you need food, clothing, medicine or toys for your children, the Church takes financial care of your needs.  In exchange, you provide services to the very mechanism that rescued you.  This means that folks in the bakeries are people who have benefited from the charitable services; those helping in the stores that sell thrift clothing, housewares and food are those who have benefited from the charitable services, and so on.

The basic concept is to preserve a sense of dignity and pride in those who have temporary need by giving them an opportunity to use their skills in the service of others.  Walking around the premises, I felt the uplifted attitude of all who were there:  smiles, waves, and straight backs.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints provides for people all over the world – not only with goods and goodwill, but with the opportunity to not lose a sense of self when “things” are lost. 

I probably sound like an advertisement for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I am not a member of their religion, but I am impressed with their charitable philosophy, because I believe it teaches our children their real value, while motivating and uplifting them at the same time.

Their young people who graduate high school are expected to go on two-year “missions,” reminiscent of the Peace Corps.  These young people come back much more mature, as they’ve experienced the pain and need of others, and have sacrificed two years of their own comfort to be of service to others.
Other youngsters just don’t want to skip a beat in their acquisition of iPods, cell phones, and other “Internet in your hand” gadgets.

I believe that the economic disaster our country is in right now is a kind of blessing in disguise with respect to values. Without values, life just provides us with “things,” but not necessarily with any profound meaning.

Thanks For Your Generosity

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I am amazed at the depth of commitment and compassion the listeners to my radio program have towards our United States soldiers and their families. Toward the end of 2007, I talked about the Congressional hearings on charity fraud particularly with respect to veteran’s organizations and encouraged you to do your own research, not just for Operation Family Fund but for any charitable organization you were thinking of supporting. From the time of that commentary, Operation Family Fund has received over $120,000 in donations, and they’re still coming in. Thank you for taking my favorite charity into your hearts, and helping the families of our brave men and women whose lives have been severely disrupted by the global war on terrorism.

‘Tis the Season to be Giving

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‘Tis the season to be giving…so give generously…but also give wisely.

You might have heard a recent report about Congressional hearings regarding a number of Veteran’s Charities.  It seems that one of the two worst performing charitable categories is “Veterans and Military.”  It is a sorry story that hundreds of millions of dollars raised in the name of injured military are being squandered by charities that take advantage of our compassion for the soldiers that have sacrificed their lives and health to protect us and our international interests. Continue reading ‘Tis the Season to be Giving…

Raising Money For Operation Family Fund at Santa Barbara Harley-Davidson

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Hi there, Dr. Laura,

My name is Peggy and we met at the Fund Raiser at the Harley store. I’m the “lucky one” who got to dunk you; I say that tongue in cheek because it was the last thing I wanted to do.My reasons for not wanting to see you get wet were born out of pure respect from years of listening and learning from you. I went there with the mindset that I’d win the draw of the ticket, then throw wide. When another woman expressed a similar sentiment you looked at her and said “Don’t you dare do that.”Here’s the fun part. I won the ticket and as I stood there after missing the first throw on purpose, you pointed at me and said “Hit it!!!!” I knew at that point it wasn’t about me, it was about your cause, and I knew what to do. My next throw was strong, true and totally on target. And of course the mechanism didn’t rel ease the latch. From there I couldn’t hit a broad side of a barn door with a shovel full of corn….LOL. So you jumped in…which was even cuter.So thank you for the fun. Thank you to your lovely staff who graciously helped me get an autograph. Thank you for making a stand and enormous contribution to our Troops. Thank you for all you’ve done.
Peggy

My Weekend With the Wonderful People of Norfolk

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      I was thrilled when the good folks at WTAR AM in Norfolk, Virginia invited me to join their annual Talkfest and chose my favorite charity, Operation Family Fund, to be the recipient of all the fundraising events.  Well, I am reminded of that expression, “Be careful what you ask for because you might get it!”
      I spent the better part of the last week flying to Norfolk, flying around Norfolk and flying back from Norfolk.  This weekend I felt I was a whirling dervish, swept up in a crush of activities to raise awareness and funds for Operation Family Fund.  For those of you who haven’t listened to my radio show in the last 4 years, OFF (OperationFamilyFund.org)is a non-profit which gives 100% of every dollar donated to the families of our fallen or severely injured military heroes who served in the War Against Terror. Continue reading My Weekend With the Wonderful People of Norfolk…