Toddlers and Tiaras

 Email This Post

We’re all outraged when we hear the stories of children being beaten, locked in cages, raped by adult “friends of the family” (if not family members themselves), abducted, and murdered.  These are clearly horrendous realities that offend all decent people. 

Then there are the “normalized” child abuse activities that barely make people shrug a shoulder.  We were somewhat amused and annoyed by the recent story of the reality show family who pretended their son was in a balloon flying high in the sky while the balloon was empty and the boy was hiding.  Turns out that this was all about auditioning for their own reality show. 

TLC has a show called “Toddlers and Tiaras.”  According to one of my listeners who alerted me to this program, it should have been titled “Mothers Who Exploit Their Children.”  It’s a show about young girls (as young as 4 years old!) who compete in beauty contests.  The worst part is not that the mothers over-dress and overly make up their children.  The worst part is not that these young girls put on immodest swimsuits and high heels and parade in front of an audience.  The weird part of the show occurs after the competition ends and you see how these young girls and their parents react to the final results.  One young girl, who couldn’t have been older than six, took second runner-up, and her mother was furious.  When the mother went backstage, there was no “you did a great job,” or “I love you.”  She simply said to her sobbing child - angrily - “I don’t know what happened.  Come on…let’s go.”  Another little girl responded to the results by saying “I’m first runner-up.  That means I’m a loser.”

These kids are learning that they are only worth something if they win.  They’re only loved up by their parents if they win.  And they’re learning that winning a beauty competition is the way to a meaningful existence.

These kinds of competitions shouldn’t even be allowed.  If I had the power - no one would be able to exploit their children for money, infamy, notoriety, selfishness or stupidity.  We all have heard the stories of the warped and sorry lives of most former child stars - the drugs, alcohol, suicides, and self-destructive behaviors throughout their lives - generally because their worth was hitched to the wagon of public adoration.

These so-called “family” reality shows are a form of child abuse and exploitation.  Children lose their privacy and have to cater to the desire of networks and cable executives for ratings and sponsorship income, and producers need outlandish behavior in order to get and keep an audience.  Parents expect them to do whatever it takes to keep their star in the sky.  It’s disgusting, and our society not only allows it, but elevates these shows to an incredible level of importance.  How about all those news stories of Jon & Kate and their eight kids?  They’re getting a divorce, and their pathetic story got coverage from actual hard news sources for weeks at the same time they were appearing on the covers of so-called “news” magazines.

We have become detestable in our acceptance and normalization of obvious emotional child abuse.  Shame on us.

When Are Women Responsible?

 Email This Post

I can’t even guess how many times I’ve read about some so-called “mother” leaving her kids in cars to die in the heat, either because she “forgot” she had a child, or she was busy with partying, and then the sympathy goes to….the mother!

The same thing applies to women and their abusive “significant others” (choke).  Recently, in North Carolina, a mother left her child in the care of a gang member.  She knew he was a gang member when she made him her boyfriend-of-the- month.  The self-declared Bloods gang member beat her 2-year-old son to death, with a combination of 41 blows, which ultimately burst his liver and caused his brain to bleed.

According to the report in The News & Observer, the murderer will spend the rest of his life in jail, and there’s no mention of the mother being held on any charges whatsoever:  not negligence, not child endangerment….nothing.

When informing me of this story, one of my listeners wrote:  “I am incensed that this woman was not fined or jailed as well.  I guess our society no longer expects moms to protect their innocent, helpless children.  No doubt, this is what the abortion mentality has done to us.”

I thought about her comment, and it holds water.  Mothers farm out their kids to daycare, nannies, and baby-sitters.  The “feminista” movement talks about women having power, yet treats women as helpless victims of sexual harassment when they get meaningless comments about their butts, and suggests that only men are responsible for domestic violence.

Power and responsibility are two sides of the same coin….or should be.  To leave a child with a known, self-acknowledged gang member should be considered a criminal act, because it clearly puts a child in harm’s way. 

As a woman and as a mother, I am shocked.

Nanny-Cam Horrors

 Email This Post

It’s been all over the news.  A “nanny-cam” in the home of two twin preemies showed the nanny handling the children like trash bags.  I mean, if you know it’s going to be shown on Nancy Grace’s television program, it has to be bad!

The single most important issue, however, was never addressed.  Where were their parents?  These delicate babies were in the hands of hired help and not their own parents.  Nowhere in the news pieces did anyone suggest that these parents had to work or risk being homeless.  Quite the contrary.

There are babies who have been forgotten, neglected, and abused in day-care centers.  Now, nannies are doing the same in the parents’ home.  Parents themselves are forgetting their own children in cars, which literally causes the children to be poached to death.  When will the tide turn back to parents making their children their number one priority, and moving their dual careers or owning “things” to a lower spot on their list?  Until then, more horrifying stories are sure to come.

Passing the Trash, Part 2

 Email This Post

Last Thursday, I posted a blog about “passing the trash,” a practice known within the educational system in which teachers who’ve allegedly engaged in sexual misconduct with a student resign and leave their school districts in exchange for confidentiality about their behavior.  I received many comments about that story, but this is one I want to share with you.  I’ve kept the writer’s name confidential:

Dr. Laura, as a former administrator of a small school district, let me tell you who the real villains are in these cases.  No school administration will admit it, but it’s the teacher’s union.  It’s like going up against the mob, to come against one of their members.  And they don’t care if their member is guilty or not.  They will use every tactic in the book to intimidate you into dropping your complaint.  Any time an administration tries to discipline teachers or even look into a complaint, the union is there fighting the administration.  They file lawsuits and nit pick at your procedures.  The teachers have free counsel and unlimited representation, covered by their dues.  Just to inquire into a complaint, the school [incurs] a great deal of cost, precious money that has to be taken from some other program or someone else’s pocket.

These types of complaints are the duty of the school board, and school boards are made up of volunteers - they don’t get paid, but they can get sued, and must defend themselves with their own money.  It is a fight to correct an untenured teacher, and in fact, there is no way to fire or discipline a tenured one. 

We had a horrid teacher (and many complaints), and we tried everything under the sun to get him away from kids.  He had his ego stroked by being mean to kids.  We tried to pay him off and offer him early retirement, but he wouldn’t go.  We were a small district with limited funds.  Eventually, the school had to close, and the man finally lost his job.  And no one around would hire him.  Our teacher was not a molester, but he was a “demeaner” - he enjoyed insulting kids.

Although I do not agree with what these schools have done, I am not surprised.  If you have no proof that would hold up in court and kids who don’t want to officially testify, but you know in your heart that this person has done these things, the teacher’s union will spread [the word] that your school district is being very unfair to the teachers, and…will turn the hearing into a circus.  As parents and board members, you will do whatever it takes to get them out of your school - and hopefully, away from kids.

Teachers who Molest - Shh…Wink, Wink

 Email This Post

Brace yourselves for this one: The Oregonian on February 18 exposed a demonic deal made in 2004 between the Salem-Keizer Public Schools and a teacher.  Here’s the deal:  if the teacher resigned, they would conceal his alleged conduct (touching and grabbing butts) from the public.  Moreover, they promised not to reveal the teacher’s behavior if potential employers called looking for a reference.  They would attribute his departure to personal reasons and make no reference to the agreement. 

The Oregonian confirmed 47 similar confidential settlement agreements.

“During the past five years, nearly half of Oregon teachers disciplined for sexual misconduct with a child left their school districts with confidential agreements…. Some promised cash settlements, health insurance, and letters of recommendation as incentives for a resignation. 

The practice is so widespread, school officials across the country call it ‘passing the trash.’”

I think school systems around the country should be examined to ensure this “trash passing” isn’t happening in your area.  Also, every parent has a moral obligation to every other parent and child to report such abuse to the police - in spite of embarrassment - so that these worms will be forced above ground.  And by “worms,” I don’t just mean the molesters.  I mean the administrations that would clean up their yards by dumping trash in another’s yard and put unsuspecting children at risk.

Disgusting.

Child Abuse More Likely in Shack-Up Relationships

 Email This Post

When a woman wishes to diminish her own value (as well as that of the covenant of marriage) by cohabitating with a man who is not willing to make the vow of committing his life to her, it’s a shame.  When a woman with children does so, it too often becomes a crime.

Thirty years ago, nearly 80% of America’s children lived with both their Mommy and Daddy, who were married.  Now, only two-thirds of them do.  Of all families with children, nearly 30% are now one-parent families, up from 17% in 1977.  The net result is instability, neglect, and the likelihood that children will be in homes with adults who have no biological tie to them. Continue reading Child Abuse More Likely in Shack-Up Relationships…