Category Archives: Child Abuse

Day Cares Don’t Care

When it comes to the crucial age of being a new little person on the face of the earth, not even the best center-based day care can provide children with what they really need.  Kids require one-on-one, loving care that responds to them individually.  Spending hours away from home prevents little children and parents from establishing the intimate and emotional bonds necessary for both the parent-child relationship and the child’s overall development.
 
I consider day care to be neglect and child abandonment.  There has been sufficient research over the years demonstrating the negative impact of day care on children.  Here are just a few negative facts about day care from a website called “Daycares Don’t Care.” ()   I have promoted it many times because the creators are very scientific in their research:

* “Kids do not learn social skills through interacting with other kids any more than children learn to play the piano through interacting with other musically illiterate children.  Children learn social skills through observing and emulating adult behavior”.
 
* “The typical day care center provides the stimulation and educational opportunity of a day in prison — and spreads far more infection and communicable disease than the county jail.”
 
* “Saying, ‘My kids went to day care, and they turned out OK,’ is like saying, ‘Some kids went to orphanages, and they turned out OK.’  But who would want to deliberately put their kids through that?!”

* “A religious institution’s day care (Bible Day Care) is no better. Whether it’s in a church, synagogue, mosque, or temple, it’s still a day care!  Even worse, many states exempt religious child-care programs from inspections and regulations that other day-care programs are subject to.  (By the way, are you sure the day care is really part of your church, or is your church just renting space to your day care?)”

It doesn’t even really matter if the day care is licensed or state approved: 

“Child abusers can easily craft neatly-typed resumes with impressive-sounding references…Even for facilities that are licensed and inspected, breaking the rules usually means little more than a slap on the wrist. The unfortunate truth is that even demonstratably bad day-care centers are unlikely to be shut down.  Though criminal-background checks are required of workers at licensed or subsidized child-care facilities, even a jury’s conviction doesn’t necessarily put someone out of the child-care business. Child-care inspectors…bend over backward to give day-care providers a chance to correct a problem – sometimes they bend too far – but it is very hard to take someone’s license away once it is granted.” 
 
I once saw a video of a licensed day care in Detroit where a 9-year-old boy was beating the crap out of toddlers and kicking them like a ninja. And what was the day-care supervisor doing?  She was just standing there, doing nothing.  She was arrested, of course, but that won’t be able to fix the damage done to those traumatized little kids.

Sometimes people argue that kids from very poor families benefit from being put in day care early on.  However, research shows that the “benefit” has nothing to do with any inherent merits of day care.  For these children, day care may have a positive effect on their language and cognitive skills because they are not experiencing that development at home.  If the child comes from a stable home with caring parents, then he or she receives no benefit from day care.  
 
Now, it would be mean to blame parents who want the best for their kids and truly have absolutely no alternative but to send them to day care.  In fact, I have recommended day care if you know that you are a sucky mother.  However, whether you’re doing it out of necessity or not, it doesn’t change the fact that day care is not a good thing for kids.  I have tremendous compassion for mothers who don’t have options, but you can’t say, “It’s a good thing for kids,” simply because you don’t have options.  It may be unpopular or frustrating for parents to hear because they are struggling with finances, feeling worried about their careers, or simply having a difficult time raising their kids, but that doesn’t make it right.  

As it turns out, most women who are stay-at-home moms are from modest-income homes.   This debunks the argument made by a lot of women who say they “have” to work out of economic necessity.  Statistically, more women whose husbands earn less than the median income are stay-at-home moms.  Therefore, what it really comes down to is a question of values, and taking care of children simply doesn’t seem to be a value of upper class or upper-middle class families.

 
Essentially, parents think they can do whatever they want and their kids will be fine.  However, we know that’s not true.  Having your infant or toddler at home being cared for by either a loving parent or grandparent is the ideal.  Whether that’s possible for you or not, it’s still the ideal.  We shouldn’t disparage it simply because people feel like they don’t have options or feel guilty about it, especially when, more often than not, it is possible. It just takes proper planning and sacrifice.

For more information about how day cares don’t care, click here.

 

The System Fails Another Child

I’ve been reading too many stories like the one I’m about to share, and I think it’s about time these people were put on trial and then put in jail for the rest of their lives with no possibility of parole. I believe any social worker, welfare worker, or child services worker who does not adequately follow through on a case and it results in the death of a child should get life in prison without parole.

Here’s the story that is making my blood boil:

A former New York City child welfare worker and his supervisor were indicted on charges of criminally negligent homicide, because their failures had contributed to the death of four year old Marchella Pierce, who had been repeatedly beaten and tied to a bed. She weighed 18 pounds at the end of her life. Her grandmother who witnessed this poor child being tied to the bed was also indicted on manslaughter and other charges, and the girl’s mother faces a murder charge.

Apparently, this is the first time in New York City history a child welfare worker has been charged with homicide in a child’s death. The district attorney in the case said this was likely not an isolated case and that there was “evidence of alleged systemic failures” at the child welfare agency. 

The caseworker in this instance was also charged with tampering with public records and falsifying records. What seems to happen is caseworkers don’t bother to show up and they follow it up by lying on reports. Kids are dead and they go back and look at the reports that say “oh, everything is fine.”

The prosecutors said agency workers had indicated “significant concerns” a year prior to the death of the child, but the caseworker had made entries indicating there had been no changes to the child from previous visits, even though signs of malnourishment would have been obvious by then. The caseworker’s lawyer said his client had been directed to make post-death computer entries by his superiors. Then all the lawyers blamed the agency!

Everyone has been spending time pointing fingers everywhere except at the guy who was supposed to go to the house and monitor that child.

So what happened to this kid is her own mother tied her to a bed, beat her with a belt, deprived her of food and water, and force-fed her drugs. The kid died from being beaten, starved and drug-poisoned. The grandmother witnessed the girl being bound to her bed, beaten and starved and did nothing.

So, when I tell people to call Child Protective Services (CPS), maybe I should just smack my head on the desk. Yet, a lot of people are freaking out at this story, saying “Oh my God, if you put these people on trial, you’re not going to get anybody to do the job.” Don’t you love it when people say “don’t hamper the bad guys, because then we won’t even have them!” 

I think it’s very important for every caseworker to know if a kid dies and it can be demonstrated you were negligent, you are toast – you are seriously toast.

Sex Offenders Getting Lenient Sentences

Last week, I blogged bout how horrendous it is that child molesters are treated leniently by judges and by parole boards.  Many of you wonder why that is.  I don’t wonder – it’s because the liberal world view of those in those positions of power concludes that such perpetrators are ultimately not responsible for their behavior, because they have a disease.  Those with a disease are, of course, offered compassion.  Since they conclude that this can’t be a choice or an impulse not resisted or pure evil, then it must be a disease.  Therefore, they believe that incarceration is useless and cruel and the real way to protect us is to put them in therapy (another liberal enclave).

The Catholic Church never turned its child molesters over to the police.  They put them in spiritual rehab again and again and again.  It’s the same mentality:  these people are not evil; they are not criminals.  They are sick and need comfort and direction.

And what about the children who were raped, beaten and murdered?  Well, they say, the best way to insure that no more children are hurt is rehab therapy and spiritual guidance.

That is all complete BS.  These people are evil. 

There is an organization called NAMBLA – the North American Man/Boy Love Association – and they march in parades and have websites and meetings geared to promoting the “healthy reality” that kids are sexual and have a right to their sexuality, and the only reason it has been criminalized is that society is uptight.

Molesters in various forms are quite open, as their world view is that they are healthy and we are not.

Since it is not politically correct to judge any more, many folks in our society (and in positions of power) include child/adult sex as a normal variant of human sexuality (as they do sex with animals and consenting sex with extreme violence and/or near-death experiences).

As we keep dumbing down our notions of right and wrong, you will see more and more of this stuff normalized in our society.

Pretty soon we’ll hear Nero on his violin.

Protecting Our Kids Against Convicted Sex Offenders

People in San Diego are understandably enraged and confused:  a convicted sex offender (who, in the past, had beaten and raped young girls and got only five years in prison) was let out on parole…to rape and kill a young woman again.

In another part of the country, Gary Becker, the fifty two year old former mayor of Racine, Wisconsin had faced up to more than twenty seven years in prison after pleading guilty to child enticement and attempted sexual assault of a child.  What did he get?  His sentence was three years in prison.

The judge in the case, Stephen Simanek, said (brace yourself) that he had been prepared to sentence Becker to probation – PROBATION!! – but was alarmed to discover that Becker had purchased girls’ underwear two weeks prior to sentencing. 

So, instead of probation or 27 years, he got 3 years (with the potential to get out in 1 1/2 years for good behavior – probably because there are no girls to rape in prison). 

In my opinion, any judge who gives less than the permitted maximum should lose the bench.

In my opinion, any Board of Parole that lets a convicted sex offender out before their maximum time is served should lose their position.

It’s a rare thing – in fact, I have NEVER read of a case of rape/molestation/murder of a child done by someone who had no previous record, so letting them out under any circumstances automatically condemns one or more children to rape and/or death.  Great comment for a civilization to make, right?

Wife Turns in Pedophile Husband

I remember when the Unabomber was caught.  There was an uproar of indignation concerning the fact that it was his brother who “ratted” him out.  When his brother saw the published ramblings of the serial murderer known as the “Unabomber,” he recognized the sentiments, mentality, and writing style of his brother, and informed the police.  If memory serves me right, The Los Angeles Times had either an editorial or an op-ed piece castigating the brother for essentially “turning on blood.”

That was a morally repugnant point of view.  Protecting the innocent against evil is the responsibility of every human being, regardless of the “job description” of the evildoer – in this case, a sibling.

Fortunately, in England, a wife of twenty years understood her responsibility to others (in this case, children), and set aside emotional pain and potential embarrassment.  She set out to trap her husband, whom she suspected of being a pedophile.  Apparently, her husband chatted with teenagers as he groomed them for sex.

The wife pretended to be a 14 year old girl, and caught him in the act.  She was in the neighboring living room while he was in his study sweating over a hot computer, setting “her” up for a meeting to have sex.  He also used a webcam to carry out sex acts and send the videos over the Internet.  Our plucky wife watched this in absolute disgust and horror.

She then contacted police who seized his computer.  She didn’t march into his study to confront him, cry, or threaten.  Like a good citizen, she just turned it all over to the authorities.  GOOD FOR HER!

He only received three years of community service and was banned indefinitely from having access in person or online to children under the age of 18.  He also had to register as a sex offender, and, oh yes, she divorced him.

“I did the right thing, and I don’t regret it.  Now I just need some time to think and put this all behind me,” she said to a reporter.

She should have gotten a medal.

Toddlers and Tiaras

We’re all outraged when we hear the stories of children being beaten, locked in cages, raped by adult “friends of the family” (if not family members themselves), abducted, and murdered.  These are clearly horrendous realities that offend all decent people. 

Then there are the “normalized” child abuse activities that barely make people shrug a shoulder.  We were somewhat amused and annoyed by the recent story of the reality show family who pretended their son was in a balloon flying high in the sky while the balloon was empty and the boy was hiding.  Turns out that this was all about auditioning for their own reality show. 

TLC has a show called “Toddlers and Tiaras.”  According to one of my listeners who alerted me to this program, it should have been titled “Mothers Who Exploit Their Children.”  It’s a show about young girls (as young as 4 years old!) who compete in beauty contests.  The worst part is not that the mothers over-dress and overly make up their children.  The worst part is not that these young girls put on immodest swimsuits and high heels and parade in front of an audience.  The weird part of the show occurs after the competition ends and you see how these young girls and their parents react to the final results.  One young girl, who couldn’t have been older than six, took second runner-up, and her mother was furious.  When the mother went backstage, there was no “you did a great job,” or “I love you.”  She simply said to her sobbing child – angrily – “I don’t know what happened.  Come on…let’s go.”  Another little girl responded to the results by saying “I’m first runner-up.  That means I’m a loser.”

These kids are learning that they are only worth something if they win.  They’re only loved up by their parents if they win.  And they’re learning that winning a beauty competition is the way to a meaningful existence.

These kinds of competitions shouldn’t even be allowed.  If I had the power – no one would be able to exploit their children for money, infamy, notoriety, selfishness or stupidity.  We all have heard the stories of the warped and sorry lives of most former child stars – the drugs, alcohol, suicides, and self-destructive behaviors throughout their lives – generally because their worth was hitched to the wagon of public adoration.

These so-called “family” reality shows are a form of child abuse and exploitation.  Children lose their privacy and have to cater to the desire of networks and cable executives for ratings and sponsorship income, and producers need outlandish behavior in order to get and keep an audience.  Parents expect them to do whatever it takes to keep their star in the sky.  It’s disgusting, and our society not only allows it, but elevates these shows to an incredible level of importance.  How about all those news stories of Jon & Kate and their eight kids?  They’re getting a divorce, and their pathetic story got coverage from actual hard news sources for weeks at the same time they were appearing on the covers of so-called “news” magazines.

We have become detestable in our acceptance and normalization of obvious emotional child abuse.  Shame on us.

When Are Women Responsible?

I can’t even guess how many times I’ve read about some so-called “mother” leaving her kids in cars to die in the heat, either because she “forgot” she had a child, or she was busy with partying, and then the sympathy goes to….the mother!

The same thing applies to women and their abusive “significant others” (choke).  Recently, in North Carolina, a mother left her child in the care of a gang member.  She knew he was a gang member when she made him her boyfriend-of-the- month.  The self-declared Bloods gang member beat her 2-year-old son to death, with a combination of 41 blows, which ultimately burst his liver and caused his brain to bleed.

According to the report in The News & Observer, the murderer will spend the rest of his life in jail, and there’s no mention of the mother being held on any charges whatsoever:  not negligence, not child endangerment….nothing.

When informing me of this story, one of my listeners wrote:  “I am incensed that this woman was not fined or jailed as well.  I guess our society no longer expects moms to protect their innocent, helpless children.  No doubt, this is what the abortion mentality has done to us.”

I thought about her comment, and it holds water.  Mothers farm out their kids to daycare, nannies, and baby-sitters.  The “feminista” movement talks about women having power, yet treats women as helpless victims of sexual harassment when they get meaningless comments about their butts, and suggests that only men are responsible for domestic violence.

Power and responsibility are two sides of the same coin….or should be.  To leave a child with a known, self-acknowledged gang member should be considered a criminal act, because it clearly puts a child in harm’s way. 

As a woman and as a mother, I am shocked.

Nanny-Cam Horrors

It’s been all over the news.  A “nanny-cam” in the home of two twin preemies showed the nanny handling the children like trash bags.  I mean, if you know it’s going to be shown on Nancy Grace’s television program, it has to be bad!

The single most important issue, however, was never addressed.  Where were their parents?  These delicate babies were in the hands of hired help and not their own parents.  Nowhere in the news pieces did anyone suggest that these parents had to work or risk being homeless.  Quite the contrary.

There are babies who have been forgotten, neglected, and abused in day-care centers.  Now, nannies are doing the same in the parents’ home.  Parents themselves are forgetting their own children in cars, which literally causes the children to be poached to death.  When will the tide turn back to parents making their children their number one priority, and moving their dual careers or owning “things” to a lower spot on their list?  Until then, more horrifying stories are sure to come.