Ill-Advised Parental Discretion

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I think it’s outrageous that a married couple is suing WalMart for calling the cops over what they called “bath time photos.”

A year ago in Peoria, Arizona, mommy and daddy sent 144 family photos to be developed to WalMart.  The developer spotted eight photos of children in provocative positions, with their genitals exposed.  Apparently, the parents say that they “have told our girls that they have freedom to be in their home and feel okay about their bodies and their nudity, but that there is a time and a place for it.”  I couldn’t agree more….and a store photo development establishment is probably NOT the place for it.  You know how cheap it is to download your own photos?  Sheesh!

Obviously, these folks are big into nudity and the carefree expression of such, so their getting angry that the police and child protective services were brought in to investigate should have been an expected consequence of their beliefs. It is the intent of a civilized society to protect the old, infirm, and the young from exploitation and abuse.  The police and child protective services and the WalMart photo developer did the right thing.

After psychiatric exams and a full investigation, it was determined by a judge that these parents didn’t intend any abuse, nor were they revving up for child porn.  Fine.  Happy ending.

But they should have been sensitive and non-defensive enough to understand the idea of protecting children always comes first.

Roman Polanski is an Animal and a Coward

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Y’know, I really don’t know why I am so upset about Roman Polanski.  I mean, he’s the director of such notable films as Rosemary’s Baby, Chinatown, and The Pianist.  When one is a “respected” artist, shouldn’t we allow for certain…shall we say…”proclivities” that maybe aren’t what the average schmo should get away with?  After all…he’s a movie director!

What’s the big deal about telling a very pretty little 13 year old girl that he could make her a star - i.e., a model for the French Edition of Vogue magazine?  How narrow-minded can you be to imagine that taking pictures of the naked 13 year old girl in a hot tub, plying her with glass after glass of champagne and popping her a few Quaaludes (ostensibly, he said, to cure her asthma), and then showing her what a real man can do without Viagra is a problem?  And what’s wrong with the fact that he cautioned her to never tell her mother about their “little secret?”  It just makes the whole scenario more…intimate.

Go figure…the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office filed charges against Roman Polanski for this “innocuous” behavior - gee, it must have been a slow legal day.  After pleading guilty to having sex with a 13 year old child, working out a plea bargain, and then paying off the girl’s family, Roman Polanski fled the United States in 1977.  The American authorities (just stubborn, I guess) issued an international search request in 2005.  Swiss authorities arrested him Saturday at the Zurich airport.

How terribly inconvenient for the film world.  Polanski had traveled to Switzerland to collect a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Zurich Film Festival, and by going to Switzerland, he finally got arrested for his “lifetime guilt.”  Actress Debra Winger, President of the film festival’s jury, was terribly upset, poor thing:  “The festival has been unfairly exploited to secure Polanski’s arrest over a case that is all but dead.  Despite the philistine nature of the collusion that has now occurred, we came to honor Roman Polanski as a great artist.  We hope today this latest order will be dropped; it is based on a three decade old case that is all but dead except for a minor technicality.”

There are so many people around the world who were equally as astonished as I was that such an important film director should be treated so disrespectfully.  Jack Lang, a former French culture minister said, “While Mr. Polanski had committed a ‘grave crime,’ he is a great creator and artist, and there’s a sentiment here that pursuing someone for a crime committed 30 years ago…is unreasonable…a kind of judicial lynching.”  I’m not sure what Mr. Lang’s notion of what consequences a “great creator and artist” should have had, had he not eluded sentencing three decades ago.  And it certainly isn’t the fault of the American judicial system that a country such as France would give him sanctuary.

Apparently, 100 or so entertainment industry professionals created a petition for Mr. Polanski’s release, saying “Filmmakers in France, in Europe, in the United States and around the world are dismayed by this decision.”  It seems inadmissible to them that an international cultural event, paying homage to one of the greatest contemporary filmmakers, is used by the police to apprehend him.

After all, with all the stress of hiding in France to avoid criminal punishment for what is ultimately the drugging and raping of a little girl, he still managed to get the Best Director Oscar in 2003 for “The Pianist.”  In spite of the clarity of his “wrongdoings,” the Zurich festival director is experiencing “great consternation and shock,” adding, “We are unable to judge the legal background surrounding the arrest.”

Let’s go through this again:  the man drugged and raped a child.  The man drugged and raped a child, and then fled the United States to avoid jail time.  The man drugged and raped a child, and the fled the United States to avoid jail time, and has been for 30 years treated like the patron saint for the arts by a world that is growing more and more morally corrupt by the moment.

There is hardly a more sympathetic creature on the face of the earth than Roman Polanski.  He was born in Paris, moved to Poland with his Jewish family when still a toddler (shortly before World War II).  His mother died in a Nazi concentration camp, but Polanski avoided capture and spent his youth in Poland before moving to the United States.  His wife, Sharon Tate, was 8 months’ pregnant with their child when she was brutally murdered by the Manson family.  When you look at his ability to make movies, after these grossly horrendous experiences, it seems logical that you should forgive a little drugging and a little raping of a young girl.  NOT.

In my opinion, all those who have participated in any way in the making or distributing of Polanski’s movies for the last 30 years should be considered accessories after the fact, and part of a conspiracy to protect a child rapist.  Polanski’s movies should be boycotted by every decent American, as well as the movies of those who acted in or contributed to any of Polanski’s movies in the last 30 years.

The man is an animal and a coward.  He’s an animal because of what he did to a child; he’s a coward because he didn’t take his punishment like a man with character.

I am thoroughly disgusted by the world’s film community for supporting him just because he makes good movies.  I understand that Hitler was a good painter…Maybe we shouldn’t have closed in on and bombed his bunker because good painters are a treasure.

There’s word that both the Polish and French governments are going to try to get Obama to “pardon” him.  I can’t believe Obama would agree to such a request while looking into the eyes of his two little girls.  Can you?

Amoral is the word of the day - it means no moral compass whatsoever.  And that’s what we are seeing around the world in those who have come out to sympathize with and support Roman Polanski, child rapist.  His heinous act and three decades of freedom avoiding an appropriate sentence don’t mean anything to amoral people.  It’s all about the game of movies.  God bless the Swiss arrest and the intent of the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office to bring him back to face justice. 

Someone in Hollywood is already, I am sure, scripting up for the movie of Polanski’s life, and to be sure, he will be presented to the Vatican for consideration of sainthood, because he is big box office.

Tease-Proofing My Little Boy

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Moms always look to protect their children (as they should).  But one Mom who wrote to me wanted to take preventive action, so her son would know what to do in case he was teased at school.  The problem?  It didn’t work.  Watch what I have to say about ‘tease-proofing’ your child:

Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.

Read transcript here.

When Students Don’t Make the Grade

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When I was in grade school one year, I got a few “D’s” on my report card.  With a pen of contrasting color to the D, I made a line halfway across the letter from left to right, and turned the two D’s into weird looking B’s.  Much to my astonishment, my father noticed the alteration!  And, boy oh boy, I got punished.

The following story ups the ante on my little escapade:  An 11 year old boy from Alabama didn’t want to bring home his bad report card either.  So, he said that a man with a pistol snatched him after he left middle school, forced him into a beat-up car, and threatened to kill him.  He then explained that he escaped by jumping out of the car, but that he wasn’t able to grab his book bag in which was (no surprise here)….the report card.  The police investigators were a bit suspicious when the boy was able to “escape” with his cumbersome band instrument, but not his soft, smaller book bag. 

The boy ran to his grandfather’s house, and admitted to lying.  The grandfather called the police to apologize.

I mention this story because the issue of grades is important.  Grade inflation definitely exists — and it’s like telling a kid he’s special just because he breathes regularly. It builds a false sense of competency and value which condemns a kid to fail in the future and be frustrated that his unconditional perfection hasn’t quite panned out. 

In addition, there’s a lack of willingness to respect children who are able and willing to work hard and attain high grades and become valedictorians.  In fact, the acknowledgment of a valedictorian has been banned in some schools so the feelings of those less accomplished won’t be hurt. 

Then there are parents who want to see A’s, even if their child is capable only of a C+.  I always tell parents that the teacher should let them know at their regular meetings whether or not their child is doing his or her best - that’s the best -accomplishment.

It’s sad when parents don’t know what’s happening with their children’s school work until report card day, and then the yelling starts.  Yes, this Alabama boy did the wrong thing, but he must have been (as I was) VERY scared about the consequences.  He’s 11….11!!  If he’s that scared,  then let’s look at that first, and then help him to do his best.  Punishment for bad grades is not the way to go in this case. 

Punishment for editing the D’s or for lying to police?  Now that makes more sense.

Dad’s Different in the New Marriage

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I always talk about how divorce adversely affects children, but this week, I got a letter from a 13 year old who tells you herself how her Dad’s new marriage has impacted her.

Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.

Read transcript here.

A Toy That’s TOO Anatomically Correct

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I breast-fed my son, and promote breast-feeding for adult mothers, for both psychological and physiological reasons - it’s a great and wonderful thing for mother and child.  I do believe in being discreet, however, which gets some breast-feeding moms hot under the collar.  I guess they forget that breasts are “sexual” parts to men, and generally are considered appendages that should be private. 

So what’s the latest toy on the market for little girls (coming out in time for the holidays)?  A doll that comes with a special halter top for a little girl (the doll’s “mother”) to wear as she pretends to breast feed her “baby.”  The halter top has daisies that cover a little girl’s nipples, and come undone just as easily as the flaps of a real nursing bra do. 

Toys need to be age-appropriate, and toys which may speed up maternal urges at a time when children are not that mature, are just not appropriate at all.

Kissing My Baby’s Face Off

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People often make comments about the behavior of mothers who yell at their kids or smack them in public.  But what do you do when you get a complaint about offering your child “too much” affection?

Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.

Read transcript here.

72-Year-Old Woman Tries To Have a Child

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I should have curly hair by now, especially considering the shenanigans and cruelty perpetrated on children by self-centered adults who have the title “parent.”  Their behavior would curl anyone’s hair.

A 72-year-old woman realized that she “always wanted a child, but spent [her] younger years devoted to academics, achieving degrees in medical sciences and zoology.  I’d always had it in the back of my mind that when the time was right I’d like to have a child.  But my studies meant that children kept getting delayed.  The right time finally came in my early 50s, and since then, I’ve been attempting, and failing, with IVF [in-vitro fertilization].”

This excuse for a prospective mother has never had a long term relationship (no time for that either), and therefore doesn’t even have an ancient daddy to provide for the child.  As for her age?  Well, she figures anyone can die at any time (and she’s a scientist?  She’s supposed to understand actuarial tables).  She really believes she’s going to last long enough in good enough health, or she says she’ll “ask one of my younger friends to be a guardian.”

So, IF she conceives (and I sincerely hope her 20 years of fertility failure continue), she’ll play with the kid and then just pass him or her off to some friend.  Great.

Remember the Italian woman, then the oldest to give birth in 2006 at the age of 67?  She died recently.  You can count the age of her orphaned child on less than one hand.

If this woman succeeds, she will have the title of the oldest mother in the world.  I would suggest that she will be the oldest female creature to give birth, as a real mother would never set up her own child for this selfish foolishness.  I wish this fertility doctor would have his license revoked.  The same should happen to the American doctor who impregnated the “Octomom.”

Freedoms without limits automatically encroach upon good sense, compassion, and someone else’s well-being.  This is just another example of how insignificant the needs of children have become as compared to the impulsive, self-centered desires of adults who want children, but who don’t necessarily want to be bothered by the needs of children.