Category Archives: Children

Sometimes Kids Are Just Bad Seeds

There seems to be a general unwillingness to point out that some people are just evil.  I was frustrated when psychiatrist Keith Ablow wrote an essay on foxnews.com espousing the “understanding” of women and men who prey sexually on children.  He “formatted” them all as mentally ill.

I was not frustrated when, years ago, another psychiatrist, answering a question about how the Hillside Strangler could capture, torture, and kill people, answered truthfully that “some people are evil.”

Dr. Ablow is dead wrong.  Although mental health professionals are trained to see everything through the pink glasses of “kids are bad because their parents are bad,” it just ain’t true.  If you are one of those parents with a belligerent, nasty, uncooperative, petty criminal, drugged-out bummy kid (when your other kids are just fine citizens), you should not blame yourself.

We’re all impressed when a kid from a really bad home ends up living a quality life – kind, hard-working, and loving.  How come we don’t recognize the opposite:  a really great home can produce a bad kid?

There’s no question that parental problems and environment do, of course, impact children, but everyday character traits also have hard-wired genetic components that cannot be remedied by loving parents and a lovely, serene home in the suburbs.

In other words, there are bad seeds.  Parents frustrated with those children may possibly aggravate the situation, but they didn’t create it.

So many people call me who are sad about their recalcitrant adult children.  In some cases, you parents have earned that, but sometimes, you just need to shut the door on what is an impossible mission.

Daycares Don’t Care

I consider day care (outside of emergency backup) a form of child neglect, and definitely one of society’s ills, as mothers are being universally reinforced to turn their babies, toddlers, and small children over to institutionalization instead of loving parental contact for most of the day. 

One of you emailed to me a link to a website called Daycares Don’t Care…How Can A Daycare Love?  It’s at www.daycaresdontcare.org.  Here’s a sample of what’s on their homepage:

“Everyone knows it’s true, but almost everyone is afraid to say it:  day care institutions don’t care about or love your child like you do.  For years, many experts have been warning us about the detrimental consequences for children placed in day care.  This website contains an extensive index of publications about the problems with day care from well-known child development authorities, psychologist, psychiatrists, pediatricians, public policy analysts, sociologists, day care providers, and others.

This collection of day care information seeks to counterbalance the relentless pressure placed upon parents to abandon their children to these impersonal institutions.

These findings show no amount of legislation, government funding, money, early childhood training, regulations or inspections can make a day care LOVE your child.

Additionally, this website is intended to encourage and affirm those parents who have made the choice to avoid day care and care for their own children – a choice that too often has been criticized and devalued by many in our society.”

Did you see Toy Story 3, about a group of toys escaping from the hellish “Sunnyside Day Care?”  One of the toys says “Day care is a sad place.”

This website is wonderful, and filled with important information you need to know for your own well-being as well as your child’s.  We’ve heard enough of media complaining about a “day care crisis” instead of a “home care crisis,” and enough of politicians pushing for more government day care subsidies versus tax breaks for at-home parenting.  We’ve had enough of people extolling the benefits of institutionalized child care while disdaining at-home parental involvement.  Enough!

Do check out www.daycaresdontcare.org, and help yourself and the next mom out there who could benefit from your pro-family activities by feeling supported in doing what should come naturally:  loving your child versus watching them on a nannycam.

When Did Parenting Become Slavery?

America seems to be having a love affair with avoiding child care by the actual parents:  “In a city of secret economies, few are as vital to the life of New York as the business of nannies; the legions of women who emancipate high-powered professionals and less glamorous working parents from the duties of child care.”

That was the beginning of a story about New York State instituting “nanny protection laws” which would require paid holidays, sick days, vacation days, overtime wages, and 14 days’ notice or termination pay when their services were no longer needed.

According to The New York Times, some of the resistance to this bill comes from lawmakers who say that this is merely an extension of workplace protection for illegal aliens, as once an employee is hired, state labor laws become enforceable, regardless of the employee’s immigration status.  The bill would increase the risks of getting caught for employers who pay nannies “off the books” (i.e., cheating the IRS and their fellow citizens).

But let’s go back to that opening paragraph and the statement that  “nannies…emancipate…parents from the duties of daily child care.”  [The emphasis is mine].  Whew!

Emancipation is a term used for the proclamation to outlaw slavery.  It’s interesting that’s it has been used for describing the supposed-to-be- loving interaction and bond between a child and a mother or father.   So, being a parent is tantamount to slavery??  Yes… that’s what feminism has proclaimed for decades.

I’m happy so many legislators are concerned about the financial well-being of illegal alien nannies (and, of course, the legal ones, too).  I am not happy that this legislation further cements the idea that having a parent raise their own child is of minimal importance, and the impact this has on the child.  It’s just sad.

Turning a Boy Into a Responsible Man

The other day I took a call on my radio program from a mother who was upset at her husband.  The husband had told their 9 year old son that he was not allowed to watch TV for a 24 hour period as a consequence of his unacceptable behavior – in this case, leaving the TV on even though he was finished watching it and had left the room.

The husband had come home from work the previous day and almost immediately checked to see what channel the TV was set to – turns out it was tuned into a kid’s network, so he knew right away that his son had disobeyed him and watched TV when his viewing was supposed to be restricted.  The father sat down with the boy and they talked about honesty, integrity, and respect for parents.

The mother was incensed that the father had “checked up” on the boy.  I immediately responded by saying, “Well, that’s being a good parent!”  I explained that the father’s job is to take his boy and turn him into a man, and a responsible one at that.  To do so, he had to use whatever was at his disposal to keep up with what the boy was doing, so that he could continue to teach and lead his son into healthy, productive adulthood.  I said that the father did the right thing.

The mother did stop and say, “I hadn’t looked at it that way.”

It seems like she spent a lot of time thinking about our exchange, and below are excerpts from an email I received from her shortly after:

…I was so nervous about my call that I didn’t get to thank you for your clarity…. Because of you, I was very aware of my “feelings,” and that they may not be a reason to respond to this situation [sic].  Recognizing this allowed me to spend all night digesting what happened without saying a word, even though my feelings were to be ‘Mother Bear’ and overreact to the situation. This led to me calling you for your perspective.

You pointed out to me that my husband was being a good parent.  You are so right.  He truly wants my son to succeed and grow to be a responsible MAN.  It brings tears to my eyes thinking how terrible this situation could have played out had I indulged my ‘feelings.’

Your wisdom has saved yet another crazy, emotional woman and spared my wonderful husband of thinking that his wife and girlfriend doesn’t give him the respect and support he deserves.

While I can’t thank you enough, rest assured that I plan to completely thank my husband tonight!

Casey Anthony Deserves the Death Penalty

Casey Anthony is charged with murdering her 2 year old daughter and dumping the child in a vacant lot near her grandparents’ home in Orlando, Florida.  Anthony lied about a Hispanic babysitter having the child, and she was photographed partying in the days after the child’s disappearance.

The prosecutor is seeking the death penalty and I say:  RIGHT ON!  If ever there were a case begging for the death penalty, it is the callous murder of a toddler by its mother.

In death penalty cases, jurors are asked to weigh aggravating circumstances that make a crime especially heinous against mitigating factors that favor mercy.  Someone would have to dig long and deep to find motivation for mercy in this case.  The prosecutor’s office points to aggravating circumstances that qualify for the death penalty:

* Death occurred during aggravated child abuse.
* It was especially heinous, atrocious or cruel
* It was committed in a “cold, calculated and premeditated manner without any pretense of moral or legal justification.”
* The child was under 12, and the mother “stood in a position of familial or custodial authority” over her.

In Florida, a prosecutor only needs to raise one of 15 possible aggravating factors to support their decision to seek the death penalty.

The upshot is this:  if Casey Anthony is convicted, she will face the death penalty.

I am 250% behind the death penalty.  Why?  Because I believe that there are conditions under which one forfeits one’s freedom and life, and murdering an innocent child in cold blood to (I suspect) free up one’s party life qualifies for that.  In my opinion, without the death penalty, we demonstrate a lack of respect for human life.

The financial source for Casey’s ability to pay fancy lawyers is largely the money she received from ABC News for the licensing of photos and videos.  Sickening.

Let me dispense with tone of the supposed “gotcha” arguments about the death penalty:  how can I be against abortion on demand but for the death penalty?  Easy.  One is the murdering of an innocent; the other is the killing of a guilty party.  Murder is the killing of an innocent.  Killing may be necessary when it’s in defense of one’s country or one’s person.  Murder eliminates the life of someone who is innocent….like little Caylee.

Lying to Ourselves

Some callers to my radio program are amazed when I explain that their situation is entirely of their own making, and don’t allow them to complain about someone else as the architect of their situation.

Sadly, a typical scenario goes like this:  a young woman caller with one or two illegitimate children is shacking up for years and years with a guy who is now out on the dating scene.  (Well, why shouldn’t he date?  He’s a single man with a consort!).  When the young woman protests that they have a “commitment,” I ask “What is the commitment?  Where is it?”  There is no commitment involved in unmarried sex or procreation or cohabitation.  It’s all “free-flowing,” which is exactly what both paid for when they signed up to not sign up for any obligation past the feeling of the moment.

The truth about females is that we lie to ourselves when we say we can just “hang out” or have “hook-up level” sex and make babies with someone who says “I love you,” but ultimately doesn’t walk the talk. 

We want to nest, settle down, and have someone love us and protect us and provide for us, but we behave in ways that demonstrate massive denial, insecurity, and a kind of pathetic desperation or downright foolishness.

None of this makes a woman feel special, put on a pedestal, valued or really loved.  And none of this protects the needs of children.  More and more women of late are intentionally having babies without marriage because, in my opinion, they are not competent to provide love and affection and attention to anything outside themselves, and the feminista women around them applaud the “no men” clause.  This is atrocious, as it undermines society and puts children in the position of no daddy

None of you should show any support for any woman who makes this choice.  No support…..and lots of negative judgment.  Please.