Jobless College Grad Sues Her School

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A young, female graduate of Monroe College in the Bronx, New York, is suing the school for a total of $70,000 she contends is the amount she spent on getting a degree that promised her a job. 

I looked up Monroe College on the Internet, and this is what I read:
“Whether preparing for a career or simply needing a part-time job, the Monroe College Office of Career Advancement provides expert advice and valuable services to help you.  Every student at Monroe College has a Career Advisor, who provides one-on-one assistance with career decision-making, resume and letter writing, and job search strategies.  The Office of Career Advancement helps with career assessment, resume writing, job search and strategy, employer recruitment and placement, interviewing skills, and other job search guidance.  Registering with E-recruiting allows you to view online job listings, post a resume to the database, and access additional web-based career resources.”

I don’t see a promise or guarantee or money-back offer.  The college cannot guarantee against the world’s financial issues.  Also, we don’t know how well she did in her courses, or how aggressively she worked on getting a position, or how inventive and persistent she’s been in trying to get herself situated.

I wondered also if she weren’t making a public spectacle in order to bully the college into giving her back her money, as she is heavily in debt and living with her single mother (who is also living on meager resources).  I don’t know her motive first hand.  I just wonder.

It’s getting more and more annoying that more and more people figure they’re entitled to things just because they want them.  That’s an adolescent view (which consists only of a narcissistic perception of the world), and it’s supposed to mature in one’s twenties.

I’m sorry she’s in debt, but she made that choice.  I’m sorry she’s having a hard time getting a job right now.  Maybe she has to choose something to do which has nothing to do with her degree just to sustain herself and her mom through these rough times that millions of people are also dealing with.  I’m sorry she’s mad, but nobody owes her a living.  I’m sorry the media sees fit to make a big deal of her actions without some judgment as to the worthiness of those actions.

I’m not sorry I’m mentioning this, as I want to make sure that none of magnificent listening audience slips into this childish state of pouting and stamping feet when life doesn’t go the way you planned or wanted.  If there is one thing to learn from this girl, it’s that life doesn’t guarantee anything but the opportunity, and she’s wasting it by whining.  If I were an employer, I wouldn’t hire her after reading about these antics.  I would want a more mature individual who does what she has to do to survive, and makes the best of it.  That’s the kind of person to respect and support.

When Someone Believes in You

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There’s an interesting program at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro that aims to keep 12 to 18 year old girls in school, minus the sad drama of pregnancies or abortions.

The program is sponsored by College Bound Sisters.  Girls in the program attend 90-minute meetings every week, at which they receive lessons in abstinence and the use of contraceptives, and they receive one dollar per day that they are not pregnant.  The money is deposited into a fund that’s available for collection when they enroll in college.

Obviously, there are many who will say “Hey, bribery is not the correct way to handle such behavioral issues.”  But slow down and think about it – when a 12 year old believes that one dollar a day is a great incentive, it tells you two things:

1. the gentle maturity level of such young girls
2. how so very many young girls are hungry for direction

Keep in mind that 3 out of 10 young women become pregnant by age 20, and the costs associated with teen pregnancies exceed $9 BILLION annually.

So, what’s their track record?  According to the co-director of the program, 6 of the 125 who have been enrolled for 6 months or longer have gotten pregnant or otherwise dropped out since it began in 1997 (and it only costs $75,000 – not billion – to operate the program).  Recent graduates have left the program with up to $3,000 saved up for college.  Basically, the representatives of the program say “If someone believes in you, there’s no end to what a lot of people can accomplish.”

This reminds me of a patient I had years ago, who went from “ditzy” behavior and drug addiction to clean and sober.  She completed college and advanced nursing training, and has been employed ever since.  A little ego in me caused me to ask here, “What made the difference here?”  I thought she’d point out some brilliant intervention of mine.  Nope, not at all.  She pointed out that I had believed in her when no one else did, that she had respected me, and I respected her potential.  That made the difference in her outlook and choices.

So, when you’re confused as to how to really help someone, just believe in them, and let them know it.

Expelled for Wearing Jeans

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The most important part of having “rights” is taking “responsibility” for those rights.  This is a concept many activist groups don’t “get,” as evidenced by their angry utterances and actions.  For these people (feminists, for example), their actions are irrelevant - they believe they should be able to say and do whatever they please.  It’s the other people who have to toe the line.

Here’s an example:  colleges in the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh said that female students would be banned from wearing jeans and other “western” clothes in order to halt sexual harassment by male classmates.  “Girls who choose to wear jeans will be expelled from the college,” Meeta Jamal, principal of the Dayanand girls’ college in Kanpur city told Agence France-Presse (AFP).  “This will be the only way to stop crime against women.”

Okay - so, jeans, shorts, tight blouses and mini-skirts on campus are being banned in a growing number of their colleges in an attempt to crack down on “EVE-teasing” (as sexual harassment is known in India).  But, of course, these “oh so mature” and wise girls between the ages of 17 and 20 say that these rules punish innocent females rather than tackling the men who talk “smack” to them..

Let’s look at this in a very pragmatic way.  Two girls are walking down the street, passing a group of young men.  Each girl is on the opposite side of the street.  One girl has on a tight-cropped top and low-cut jeans.  The girl on the other side of the street is wearing a pretty, but modest, dress.  Which side of the street are the guys going to pay attention to?  Which girl are they going to approach?  Which girl are they going to “tease” to see if they can “hook up?”  The answer is easy.

Which girl is showing off her “wares?”  Which girl is acting in a provocative manner?  Which girl is using clothing and body language to possibly advertise her, ahem, “social” availability?  Which girl looks as though sex is on her mind?  The answer is easy.

It is completely unreasonable for a provocatively-dressed woman to get any when guys hoot and whistle.  If clothing is just another form of “self-expression,” well, we all know what sexy clothes are expressing.  Modest clothes are expressing nothing close to a “come-hither” attitude.

A female at work has her boobs popping out of her top and a fellow worker says “nice boobs.”  He’s considered “bad,” but she isn’t?  Isn’t foisting your sexuality on someone else harassment?  Women can provoke men, but men can’t react?  That is the silly thinking of most feminists.

Young men in a classroom can’t pay attention to the blackboard and the teacher’s words when he has in front of him the sight of a girl’s lower back and upper butt, because she’s wearing very low cut jeans.  Young men on a campus can’t even remember which building to go into when a young woman walks by with her soft belly jutting out beneath her short top over her low-cut jeans.

This is where responsibility comes in.  If you don’t want that kind of attention, don’t invite it!

When I read the many of the comments posted in response to this story on Breitbart.com, I was not surprised at the naive and utterly stupid remarks about women having their rights to dress and behave any way they want (i.e., no responsibility), and men should control their verbal and emotional reactions (i.e., responsibility all on the men).

And then I got to this comment…a nugget of gold in the compost heap:

When I entered high school, it was the first year when girls were allowed to wear pants.  Since then, of course, clothing standards have dropped to the point where girls are wearing next to nothing on top of low-cut, tight jeans, or short-shorts. In high school, I would have screamed my head off that it was unfair to tell us what to wear.  Now that we’ve had 30 years of half-dressed high fashion, and I’ve become older and wiser, I understand why modesty makes sense.  Our schools, especially here in California, are a complete disaster.  There are many reasons for it, but requiring that girls dress modestly and that boys dress respectfully is a good start.  Considering that hormones are bubbling like volcanoes, particularly in teenage boys, simple steps like this would make a difference.  I remember the days when people dressed up nicely just to go to the movies!  I’m not advocating this, but I would even be for school kids wearing uniforms.  It puts them in a different frame of mind.  Trying to get kids to sit still, pay attention and get an education is not only difficult, but as we see from our dismal failure in the last 20 to 30 years, is imperative for the future of this country.  Looking back, it does amaze me how much my opinion has changed.  It is said that the devil is in the details, and I must concur.  The small things that I thought didn’t matter at all turn out to be very important, not only in and of themselves, but they are the blocks on which other decisions/behavior are built.  It’s really hard to see this when you’re 15 or even 25, but as have accumulated experience in life, it has become very clear.

Readin’, ‘Riting, and ….Bribing?

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As I was walking through my kitchen to my office, my husband was having his morning cereal, watching Fox News.  They were in the midst of a perky promo for “what’s coming up next,” concerning a school district that was using financial rewards to motivate students to get good grades.  I kept walking… and only heard one bit more about the subject:  “It’s working.”

That promo stuck in my mind because of those last words:  “It’s working.” 

If tantalizing children with money, money, money actually makes them get good grades, because they pay more attention in class, put more effort into their homework, are more invested in studying for exams and working on reports and projects, well, that means that a lot of kids aren’t living up to their potential.

Why would MONEY make the difference, and not the appreciation of their parents, the respect of their peers, the approval from their teachers, or the mere burst of pride in doing well?  The answer is simple:  kids these days are not raised to care about appreciation, respect, approval and pride…period!  They are brought up to care about celebrity, extravagance, notoriety, freakish attention (think reality shows), infamy as a positive experience, and extreme non-conformity to traditional values.

What happens to these kids when the money isn’t there, but there is still the expectation of profound effort and commitment?  Certainly teachers, police, firefighters, those in the military, and small shop owners (to name just a few) aren’t putting out their best efforts for the financial reward.  A police officer who “collars” a serious bad guy gets a lot of thumps on the back, a night of some beers with fellow colleagues, and a notch toward an eventual promotion in rank.  Mostly, he has pride in doing his job well. 

These children are not being moved in that direction at all by this “money reward for grades” idea (except, maybe, for the beer).

Schools have been eliminating accolades such as high honors at graduation (e.g., valedictorian) so as not to hurt the self-esteem of those who won’t or can’t rise to that occasion.  Yet, they want to give money, money, money to those who do.  What is THAT message?  No one’s feelings are going to be hurt because they didn’t get the money, money, money.  Ugh.

I think we should go back to showing respect for the children who do perform well: for example, point systems that offer monthly “perks” like not having to take a few quizzes because their grades are above a B+, or earning a class trip to the zoo, aquarium, or museum or something else that acknowledges their efforts without minimizing the meaning by throwing coins at them.

Empowering Men on Campus

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A news headline from last week that said “Power Move By Male Students Ruffles University of Chicago” caught my eye.  It seems a group of University of Chicago students think it’s time the campus focused more on its men.  The Chicago Tribune reports:  “A third year student from Lake Bluff has formed Men In Power, a student organization that promises to help men get ahead professionally.  But the group’s emergence has been controversial, with some critics charging that its premise is misogynistic.”

That is purely laughable.

Recent job losses hit men harder - women earn far more bachelor’s and Master’s degrees than men.  There is a huge imbalance in government and private initiatives that advance the interest of women and girls (often to the direct detriment of men), like Title IX, which eliminates men’s school sports when there aren’t enough women interested in having a women’s team of the same sport.

The University of Chicago has nine women’s advocacy groups on campus.  This group would be the first male advocacy group - and it welcomes women!  Get a feminist group to do the same - HA!  The group would host pre-professional groups in law, medicine and business, foster ties with alumni, bring speakers in to discuss masculinity, and mentor local middle school students as part of its “Little Men in Power” initiative.

I read most of the 1,440 or so comments that followed this article in the Chicago Tribune, and saw exactly what I expected:  paranoid, hate-filled rhetoric, demeaning and dismissing men and masculinity, with no compassion whatsoever for what men have to confront in contemporary society (which is “angry minority orientation against the male - especially the white male.”).  It should be noted here that this organization is pulling in men regardless of ethnicity, religion, or sexual persuasion.  It is just about men.  It’s not about forming small, angry little groups that demand entitlement.  This is a group helping men succeed and regain a respect for their masculinity - something current culture and feminism has worked double time to destroy.

You go, guys!

Bribery?! Haven’t We Been There, Done That?

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The Health section of The New York Times on March 2 debated the usefulness of bribing school children with money, toys, candy and electronic gizmos to have them attain better grades.

When I was in school, it was cute stickers and the pride of getting a good grade that you could brag about that made your parents all sorts of happy.  The good grade was the proximate award for all the hard work.  Getting the reputation as being smart was a good thing, and becoming valedictorian was great, as was qualifying for scholarships of all sizes for college.  Spending a lifetime knowing you worked hard and earned what you had the hard way was the long-term reward.

Now, some geniuses want to rob children of all of that.  These greater minds than ours want children to fight for things of substance (money) rather than for things of glory (purpose).  Not all endeavors have a high rate of financial return:  a hospice worker helps the dying and their families face their fears of death; a fireman runs into burning buildings to save complete strangers from a horrible death; kindergarten teachers introduce our children to the world of budding independence, self-confidence, social maneuvering and the alphabet…and that’s only a few examples.

Frankly, we need more kind and compassionate people than we do more “A” students in this world, as it turns out that the greatest thieves (many CEOs, crooked politicians and Ponzi scheme giants), terrorist masterminds, and general sociopaths all have very high IQ levels and got great grades.

How about us giving financial rewards, candy and electronic gizmos to kids who go out of their way not to bully, tease, steal, lie, sexually harass, or sexually act-out?  Or to those who won’t drink or take drugs or steal or backtalk their elders? 

Would that work, I wonder?

Protecting Electronic Insults Is Insulting

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A Connecticut state lawmaker is proposing legislation that would bar schools from punishing students for their electronic insults - even if they write them on class computers during school hours.

This idiocy is in response to the punishment meted out to Avery Doninger, a 17 year old high-schooler who was disciplined in 2007 for writing a blog from home using vulgar language to defame and insult school administrators.

School authorities barred her from running for office at Lewis B. Mills High School in Burlington as a “punishment.”

Her parents - of course– are suing!

I can’t believe I heard the whole thing.

On FoxNews.com, almost 100 people put in their two cents; the following was the most cogent of the bunch:

“‘Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.’  As far as I can tell, Congress did not impede on her freedom of speech. The child needs to learn that while she is free to say whatever she feels, there are repercussions to the things we say.”

And there it is.  You have the freedom so say whatever you’d like - without any consequences?  I think not.

Colleges and employers have recourse to Internet records and can judge students by the electronic trail they’ve left behind, according to Tom Hutton, senior staff attorney for the NSBA (National School Board Association).  Well, let that be a lesson to adolescents who feel bigger than their britches with this pending legislation!

The girl’s mother “wished her daughter ‘had used more sophisticated language.’”  Instead of standing by the school punishment to teach her daughter the consequences of not thinking behavior through in advance of indelible actions, she’s making it a cause for free speech. 

Oh please.  It’s another one of those cases of parents defending their children right or wrong because they don’t want any criticism or don’t want to risk their children’s ire by punishing them for wrong- or stupid-doings. 

Imagine if the teacher had put on a website that this girl was a “douche bag.”  Would anyone defend the teacher or would he or she have to take sensitivity classes and then be fired anyway?

We are getting way too far in “The Lord of the Flies” for my tastes.

Solving Lipstick on the Mirror

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A listener sent this in and there’s a punch-line:

According to a news report, a certain school in Garden City, MI was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror, leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.    
 
Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. He called all the girls to the washroom and met them there with the maintenance man. He explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, he asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.           
 
The maintenance man took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.  Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.                                                               
                                                                           
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY:                                                 
There are teachers, and then there are Educators.