John Edwards’ Co-Conspirator in Betrayal

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By this time, you all know that former Presidential hopeful John Edwards is not longer hopeful about too much.  According to press reports, Elizabeth Edwards has left him.

After the Clintons and many other high profile power couples’ personal issues with marital problems and affairs, I think we’re all pretty numbed and crass about it all.

This blog is not about affairs - it’s about another form of betrayal. 

Andrew Young was a former aide of the Edwards’ who was personally intimate with them and a co-conspirator in John Edwards’ tacky affair and secrecy surrounding his illegitimate child.  In fact, in addition to harboring the bimbo in his home, Andrew Young tried to take the credit for this baby to keep his boss in the limelight in a more positive way.

All of this has now hit the fan, and these three are no longer speaking.  Andrew Young has written a “tell-all” book, “The Politician,” which goes on sale this week.  He maligns Elizabeth and John and even goes so far as to say that they both conspired to use her cancer diagnosis to promote John’s campaign for President.  I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it just sounds so disgusting that I can’t wrap my mind around it. 

What a despicable character Andrew Young is!  First, for benefitting from his relationship with the Edwards family (with privileges, opportunities, trust, bonding, financial compensation, power and friendship), and then making money by betraying their confidences when he was a definite co-conspirator in everything they did (which he now criticizes).  People who do that are scum.

Years ago, Eddie Fisher also wrote a tell-all book about the women he was intimate with, including Debbie Reynolds and Elizabeth Taylor.  Why they, or any of the other women, had anything to do with that toad is beyond me, but they did.  He did a “kiss and tell” book.  Disgusting.  All to make a buck.  He betrayed the tender confidences of women who once cared about him.

I ran into him while he was on his book tour, and we were both appearing on a television interview program.  He dared to come up to me to cheerfully introduce himself.  I cut him short, saying I knew who he was, and that he was a disgusting human being and obviously not a gentleman for the book he wrote and now was hawking.  He looked stunned, and that made my moment!  I turned my back on him and then slowly, deliberately walked away.  He was trying to say something to me, but I just didn’t care.

Instead of buying Andrew Young’s book demonizing Elizabeth and John Edwards, spend that money on buying some good children’s books for your local school library.

Moral Nearsightedness

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Earlier this month, I took a call that I thought was a perfect example of how “moral nearsightedness” is overcoming American society.

This twenty-something young woman was pregnant out-of-wedlock, “shacking up” with her alleged fiance (they are living with his father), and the fiance doesn’t have enough income to support a wife and child.

But that’s not why she called!!

In fact, when I pointed out the irresponsibility and immaturity of conceiving out of wedlock with a guy incapable of supporting a family, I got back:  “Well, that’s not my question!” (And, by the way, she didn’t want to have a wedding until after the baby was born and she got her figure back in order to wear a white gown).

Her question actually related to her mother.  Apparently, her mommy came to visit and “got it on” with the fiance’s dad….all night.  There were other children (of other family members) in the home when this was happening.

That’s as far as she got when I said: “It’s genetic.”
She responded with:  “What?”
I repeated and expanded: “It’s genetic…having no moral foundation for decisions.  Like mother, like daughter.”

Now that may sound harsh to you, but truth often is, and there was nothing I could do to change anything about this situation.  She was already “shacking up” and pregnant; her mother already had humped the maybe future father-in-law.  Her question was going to be about confronting her mom about this outrageous behavior.  I couldn’t bear to hear her even go there, considering she was the pot and the kettle all by herself.

It’s a shame both of our eyes point only outwards.  It would be a far, far better thing if one of them turned inwards.

Using the Web to Get Revenge

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In a recent radio interview, I discussed the issue of “webtribution,” a term coined by Elizabeth Bernstein in The Wall Street Journal to describe people who use the Internet to get revenge - i.e., publicly to hurt another human being with whom they are not happy.

The Internet is anonymous, immediate, and gratifying in the moment.  In human history, vengeance is not unfamiliar - people haven’t changed that much.  Their means of delivering pain has evolved from poison, duels, clever rumors, and Machiavellian manipulation to the world wide web.  In some ways, damaging someone’s reputation is akin to murdering them, as their reputation is devastated world-wide and forever, making it difficult for them to function in private relationships as well as in the community and at work.

To quote The Wall Street Journal:  “Most of us have heard of someone posting naked photos of an ‘ex’ online.  Or writing nasty reviews for a restaurant or book, not because they dislike the product, but because they dislike the person who created it.  Or signing up an acquaintance for [unwanted] e-mail advertising lists.” 

My opinion is that it should be illegal, as it is immoral, to post information or opinion about people without identifying yourself.  Obviously, it is also cowardly.  Google and all other such carriers should not permit anonymity.  That would immediately change the complexion of what is posted, and I don’t think they’d lose business, except from those who use the Internet for evil (terrorists of the international and interpersonal kind). 

Spitzer’s Call Girl Complains

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I have some comments to make about Ashley Dupre, the highly-paid prostitute who notoriously humped disgraced ex-New York State Governor Eliot Spitzer.

Angry about the negative perception of her, Ms. Dupre wrote on a blog post:  “Let me say this:  most girls, to varying degrees, of course, want to be pampered and have nice shoes, designer handbags and gorgeous clothes.  I know many women who target guys with money and use them to get these things.  They toy with them, flirt, go on dates, have sex and then drop hints about that new dress…or being short on rent money – and the guys deliver it.”

Whoa, missy!  Trying to make yourself look better by making comparisons to other devious skanks just doesn’t work that well.  Everyone in the universe would like “nice things,” but some people are satisfied with richer things in life – like love and family – while others simply work hard at a legitimate job that doesn’t exploit or damage other people’s families to get those things.

One comment listed on the New York Post website in response to this story was quite interesting:

“She’s a cheap trick trying to cover the fact that she sold her body for a few thousand bucks.  There IS a BIG difference.  Implying that a relationship is like prostitution is like implying that hunting and killing game is no [different from] hunting and killing people.  She’s trying to spin the simple fact that relationships are give-and-take to say that all that are give-and-take in any way are the same, but giving and taking in a long-term social and intimate relationship is NOT the same as a business transaction for sex. She would have done better to say that a piece of ham in a supermarket is ‘no better’ than she is being the more closer comparison to buying a piece of meat for consumption.”

I have a simple question to ask women who are defensive about their behaviors:  would you teach your daughters to do this?  It is amazing how the answer to this will definitely be a quick and disgusted “NO,” but then, these women are quick to rationalize.

Ashley Dupre is a disgusting creature, not only for being a “paid-for” sex machine, but mostly for being an unrepentant destroyer of some other woman’s family.  It is the unrepentant part that really gets me, and should get you, too.  As a foolish young woman with warped values, we could all “get” (i.e., understand) her behavior, but here she is, older and after the fact, and she still has no conscience about her actions.

It is the lack of conscience in this woman that ultimately judges her.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

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The good, the bad, and the ugly….

That was the title of a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western (I loved all of them), but in this case, I’m referring to the Internet, but in the same way that I would refer to guns or electricity.  Do you think I’ve blown a mental fuse?  No.  Here’s my outlook:

Right now, the governments of China and Iran are working ceaselessly to block web access to its populace.  Why?  So information the government “does not want you to know about” won’t get in, and the truth of what is going on inside these totalitarian regimes will not get out.

Twitter, YouTube, Facebook and their ilk have revealed the atrocities against the people of Iran protesting the sham presidential elections.  Beatings and murders have been viewed around the world, as people have had the courage to use cell phones and such to take the governmentally prohibited pictures.

This, obviously, is a case of calling the Internet GOOD.

On the other hand, we have people in the United States of America (where communication is completely open, some say to an unfettered fault) using the Internet for pornography.

This, obviously, is a case of calling the Internet BAD.

Internet sites have been used to defame and harass people.  Internet sites are being used to “publish” speculation, opinion, and downright meanness as “fact.”  Internet sites have been used to troll for victims in order to rob, rape, and murder.  Internet sites have been used to incite violence, threaten, and frighten.

This, obviously, is a case of calling the Internet UGLY.

Electricity and guns can be thought of in the same way:  you can get electrocuted by dropping a hair dryer in the tub when you’re in it, or electricity can be used to run a ventilator and save lives.  Guns can be used in robberies and murders, or they can be used by the free to ward off tyranny and other assailants.

Objects have no moral value - the way they are used is the issue - and that assessment is in the hands of the user.  We all have the ability to choose right from wrong.  Our choices, though, generally depend greatly on the human atmosphere around us.  For example, we are more likely to be able to do atrocious things if we’re part of a group.  We wouldn’t dream of doing them alone.  Yet, there are those who can perpetrate evil all on their own.

We are more likely to choose good when we are surrounded by people supportive of “good,” and judgmental of “bad.”   However, when the cultural atmosphere dissipates with respect to values and moral judgment, it’s easy for an individual to operate out of the moment without regard to circumstances or their soul. 

It takes a strong person to choose good for its own sake.  There is often little reward or regard given to them.  There was a time when a child, seeing a dollar fall from an elderly gentleman’s pocket, would race to give it back to him.  He would then get his picture on the front page of the local paper - rewarding him for character.  Now, that same child would probably not even entertain the thought of returning the money.  What for?  Look around that child - parents cheat, politicians cheat, entertainers and sports stars cheat.  What’s the motivation?

The good, the bad, and the ugly - two out of three are on the wrong side.  You choose every day which side to be on.  Now, go do the right thing.

Standing Up for People, Values and Ideals

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An all-too-typical issue that comes up on my radio program is cowardice, because someone didn’t stand up for others, for values and/or for ideals.  The standard excuses range from not wanting to escalate a situation, being afraid of other people getting mad, fear of being marginalized or left out, being afraid of being “judged,” not “liking” confrontation, not wanting to lose the image as a nice person, and so on.

I disrespect the actions of not standing up for friends, fairness (even when a friend is not involved), and values.  Some of my callers are parents whose adult children are behaving recklessly, thoughtlessly, and in total opposition to how they were brought up.  Too many of these parents are more concerned with “peace at all costs” instead of continuing their parental leadership by clarifying their position and drawing the line.

I remember a long time ago, there was a talk show host coming on right after my program.  We were polar opposites in our political views, and she would use her three hours on the air to critique my program.  This, of course, annoyed the heck out of me, but I never spoke about it on the air - not even once - because I don’t use my air time to do anything but help people do and be better in their lives.

Fast forward several years later, and a feminist group went after her with venomous attacks, attempting to destroy her career.  Mind you, she was a feminist activist leader herself, but she dared to have her own opinion about something that went against the grain of the activist group’s position.  It turns out that I was the first person who called her the next morning - with a call of support.  It galled me that there was a concerted effort to unfairly destroy her career.  I just don’t like life’s unfair qualities, and I have generally stood up to them no matter what.

Fast forward again years later, and I was being unfairly attacked by a different activist group that she had once been part of.  She went into numerous public venues to defend and support me. 

We both took hits for doing these things, but we both turned out to like each other very much, and we both still maintained the bulk of our differing opinions.  We did, however, agree on one point of ethics, morals, and values:  you defend who or what is being attacked unfairly, and consequently, we both defended responsible free speech.

We both lost to the power of the activist groups, however, but we won each other’s respect and support, all while keeping the high ground.  We each went on growing in success and the respect of our peers as well. 

That’s one very personal experience for me.  I hope the next time you see rudeness or cruelty, you will stand up.

Racial comments coming from Don Imus are as ugly and unnecessary (except for ratings) as the joke about Sarah Palin’s daughter getting “knocked up” by a baseball player.  It isn’t the term “knocked up” that’s the issue - I use it all the time for out-of-wedlock pregnancies, because they usually end up with the child being aborted or growing up with the chaos of a life with one parent gone.  David Letterman wanted to shoot insults at Palin simply because she’s Republican, and he aimed his gun at her child.  That’s disgusting.  How many of you would stand for that happening to your child? 

Imus lost his job…temporarily…and Letterman’s ratings are higher.  And I’m left wondering if you’ll stand up for others (or values, morals, ethics and principles) when most others around you will turn their gaze away.

Why We Need Role Models

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Why the heck do we need role models?  Can’t everyone just think for him or herself and make decisions about right and wrong and choices of action without somebody on a philosophical runway modeling what they could or should be?

Possibly…but role models alert us to POSSIBILITIES, in addition to serving as INSPIRATION.

Angry rappers role model distrust, rage, anti-social notions and actions: killing, raping, hating.

Stupid “stars” role model self-indulgence and excess, self-importance: self self   self

Successful people who “pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps” role model perseverance, giving up a “victim mentality,” optimism and plain hard work.

Heroic types (military, police, firemen, and caring bystanders) who put themselves on the line of life and death role model taking care of others.
 
and so it goes.

These days, however, good role models are few and far between.  Pastor Bill Shuler, of Capital Life Church in Arlington Virginia, pointed the way in his recent essay: 10 Reasons Why we Are Losing Good Role Models.

What follows is my paraphrasing of his list:

1.  Honorable people are attacked for taking a stand for morality and values

The favorite attack here usually takes the form of being called either a “hater” or a “hypocrite.” If a person disagrees with you, you can say that they simply hate you or your stand, or that they once (usually decades ago) behaved contrary to their own words so therefore, they have no moral ground on which to defend their position.  I don’t have to explain how ugly, stupid, and dangerous those approaches are to the well being of a civilized society.

 2.  High profile scandals in sports politics and religion have caused us to become jaded.

Yup - it’s hard to believe that a moral high ground even exists if the people you looked up to don’t respect what they have and the responsibility it gives them.

3.  Fewer dads are present in the home.

 Soon, most children won’t come from intact homes where they see a dad providing and protecting and teaching them how to be decent men and women.

 4.  Success has been defined as fame, fortune, and power.

 We used to have the word “infamous” to describe people well known for skuzzy behaviors…now it’s all just “famous.”  “Octo-mom” Nadya Suleman now has a television show because she’s famous for showing incredible insensitivity and irresponsibility in having 16 children with no dad or intact married family.    If someone is rich (no matter how they got there), they have admirers.

 5.  Image often supersedes character.

  Bad boys and bad girls reign supreme in our media-drenched culture.  The more stupid and horrid their behavior, the more important they are to the media.

 6.  Indulgence replaces sacrifice.

 Just think daycare.

7. The practice of self-discipline is losing ground.

 If you “feel it” you have license to “do it” is today’s mantra.  Consideration of consequences to others, as well as one’s own future, became secondary.

 8. Seeking of “self,” on the other hand, is an over-practiced art.”

If I hear one more person excuse stupid, cruel, or self-indulgent behavior on the basis of “low self-esteem” or “I guess I have to learn to love MYSELF,” I think I’ll scream.
 

9.  Family values have become a political issue rather than an ideal to be embraced.

The responsibility and obligation to spouse and children outweighs feelings and urges, which are temporary and often foolhardy.

10.  Good people with deep convictions remain silent when they should speak up.

  I have said it quite differently:  way too often, good people are “wusses;” they are afraid to stand up (not without good reason…see #1), because they want to be liked. I have gotten myself into all sorts of trouble by “standing up,” so I know what it takes.

“Being beautiful, uninhibited or rich has become a cheap substitute for courage, decency and selflessness,” writes the Pastor.  And he is so very correct. That’s why I often ask people to project themselves 20 years into the future, and then look back on themselves at this very moment.  I ask them to tell me what they would need to do in order to be proud of themselves.  It’s funny how they always know what’s right when looked at from that perspective.

Octuplet Mom Takes Visa and Master Card

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It pains me to state the obvious.  I hate to remind people to ignore the unimportant.  I often find myself asking, why do people obsess about idiots who are doing the wrong thing?  But unfortunately the idiots seem not only to stick around, but the stupider they get, the more the media wants to talk about them.
 
And then they do something really dumb and I get really ticked off.
 
The octuplet lady… Let’s call her Ms. Mommy, because there is no Mr. Mommy in sight… is back in the news because, while she insists that she won’t take government money to help support her self-centered decision to have her own private herd of toddlers, she will take Mastercard and Visa — from YOU!
 
Yes — this mommy of 14 has launched a website soliciting donations to help her feed, diaper and toilet train these beautiful little gifts from God who, in reality, are now legally the chattel of the most narcissistic mother alive.  So, if you want to make sure they get their Gerber’s, you better pull out your wallet because begging for help from strangers appears to be this woman’s new career path.
 
Now, it would be nice if I could at least say that Ms. Mommy learned HTML programming so she could make her own website.  Then, at least, she would have a skill that she could use (at home) and make some legitimate coin while the kidlets are sleeping.  But no, Ms Mommy’s got some Hollywood public relations firm to design and put up the site, complete with links to PayPal in order to slurp your money faster. 
 
So is the money raised for the kidlets going to pay the PR firm for their web design?  Well, FoxNews says “The website was created by the Killeen Furtney Group, a Los Angeles-based public relations and marketing firm retained by the mother following the birth of her six boys and two girls. Her publicist, Joann Killeen, declined to indicate how much had been donated thus far, but stressed that her firm designed the website for free.”
 
Pro bono?  More like Pro Promo.  Joann Killeen was a bit more honest and forthcoming just a week ago when she acted like the mommy of the moment resembled a cash cow.  The Los Angeles Daily News reported on February 3rd:  “Ms. Mommy retained Los Angeles publicists Michael Furtney and Joann Killeen on Friday and since then, the agents said they had fielded dozens of interview requests and offers for book, film and television deals. But Killeen said this morning that offers have not yet been reviewed. Some media reports speculated that Ms. Mommy might be paid as much as $2 million for an interview. Killeen said today she believes people will be ‘very impressed’ when Ms. Mommy begins relating her tale, ‘and we will work with our client to decide what’s the best vehicle for her to tell the story.’”
 
And all I keep thinking about is the 14 little children who desperately need a safe, secure home in order for them to achieve the American Dream while their mommy is whipping them around in her own personal nightmare. 
 
Is there any good news here?  Well, apparently the Bimbo Mommy has decided no more kids.  In her maybe paid for, maybe not interview on The Today Show, she told Ann Curry the octuplets were a sign from God that she should stop having children. And according to the Associated Press, “she also said she’ll support her family on student loans until she finishes her master’s degree in a year or two and finds a job.”
 
Well, I support her decision to NOT have any more kids and I’m just waiting for the website where I can donate money to have Ms. Mommy’s tubes tied.