Getting “Physical”

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Last week was my annual “girl parts” checkup - pelvic exam and mammogram.  I am grateful to be able to say that all’s well with me.

I’m blogging about this because I want all you men and women to have your yearly physicals, including full blood work, cancer screening, colonoscopies (I do that every 5 years now), and maybe even a full body scan.

Ultimately, it really doesn’t matter what does or doesn’t “run in your family.”  Your body physiology and behaviors (such as nutrition, substance abuse, physicality, and environment) are all unique to you, so don’t think you’re “safe” because no one in your family has “such and such.”

I also realize that many of you may be scared that if you get a checkup, something will be found.  Well, that logic would be okay with me IF not going to a doctor for a physical insured that you wouldn’t get anything serious.  That’s just not how life works.

I’m always nervous before my yearly exams.  At 62, I figure I will eventually have to deal with something, although I just might go out mid-breath in my sleep at age104.  I take very good care of myself, but….you never know.  After I finish the battery of tests, and get a happy answer, I can breathe easier, and I go out and play.

I will admit that I hate going for dental checkups, however, because they usually DO find something I have to deal with (ugh).  But I have a really cool ceramic molar implant with a tiny American flag painted on it - occasionally, doing something crazy  like that is how I cope.  

Obese Woman Told to Get An MRI At The Zoo

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I recently read a news report from Kansas City about a 5 foot tall, 275 pound woman who needed an MRI exam.  The problem is that MRI tables often can’t support heavier patients and the tubes into which the patient must be moved generally can’t fit someone of her girth.

You don’t usually see body scanners that will accommodate bigger patients, because they don’t provide the clearest images, and those that have large openings increase the possibility of the magnetic field dissipating into the room.

The obese woman in question reported that someone at the hospital suggested that she could go to the zoo for an MRI as they accommodate larger critters.  The suggestion was made to “help” and not to “insult.”  According to news sources, the woman said: “I thought, I know I’m big, but I’m not as big as an elephant.  And my husband got mad.”

Sadly, she has a tumor on her spine, has had multiple surgeries, and now has partial paralysis. This event is purported to have happened two years ago.

I’ve heard that there are some court cases to force airlines not to charge obese people for the two seats it takes to carry them.  This is yet another situation where no responsibility is taken for being obese.  What is it with our thinking that no matter what irresponsibility we demonstrate, the world is supposed to accommodate us?

There is a difference between making access for folks who are in wheelchairs and making access for people who simply abuse their bodies and then demand that the consequences of their actions be borne by others.

This woman eventually did find a place with an “open” MRI machine.  I hope her treatment is successful and she takes from this experience some sense of purpose in getting her body more healthy, rather than anger that not everything will adapt to her.  She has some responsibility too.

I Got the “Look of Death” from My Wife

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How many times have you inadvertently said something that caused your spouse to give you that unmistakable “look” - the one that an emailer refers to as “the look of death?”  Today,  I’m offering some tips to men and women about how not get yourself into those situations, and positive steps you can take so you never get that “look” again!

Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura

Beware of Germy Gyms

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Whenever I get on a plane or use someone else’s computer keyboard and mouse, I whip out the disinfectant wipes.  Have you ever read the reports on the germy nature of just about every surface in existence?  Wonder where you got that cold, flu, or other illness?

While doctors will say that the benefits of exercise far outweigh the small chance of acquiring a staph or other infection at the gym (so don’t use this report as an excuse for hugging that couch!), you ought to take some common sense steps to protect yourself.  And since just about everyone makes a New Year’s resolution to “get fit” once the holidays are over, here are some tips for you to keep in mind when you’re ready to reacquaint yourself with your local gym:

1.Before you use equipment (including exercise balls, spinning bikes, and weight machines), wipe off the surfaces with a disinfectant wipe that has at least 60% alcohol.  Just wiping with a wet towel is not enough!

2.Don’t use anyone else’s towel or yoga mat – they’re fast lanes to bacterial, fungal and viral infections.

3.Shower immediately after working out at a gym.  Wear flip-flops in communal showers, and bring your own soap, unless the gym has liquid soap dispensers.

4.Don’t go into the sauna or whirlpool if you have a cut, scrape or bad bruise.  Chlorine generally kills a lot of bad bugs, but others can survive…and don’t drink the water in those tubs!

5.If a scratch, bruise or cut gets red, hot, or tender, see a physician!  Don’t just let the infection fester until it’s progressed to something serious.

6.Get your own bicycle and ride in the neighborhood.  Buy some free weights, get a trainer, or buy a variety of workout videos.  Working out in your own home avoids a lot of “bugs” – except those you get from your school-age children!

Eat Less, Move More

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There are two sure fire comments that I can make on the air which will get hackles way, way up.  The first is to say anything which even sounds remotely like a criticism of cats (for some reason it doesn’t work for dogs, chickens, pigs or parakeets…just cats) or comment that, for the most part, being fat is your own darn fault.  There’s even a fan site for my show called “We Love Dr. Laura” - which has a thread that goes wild whenever I take a “fat” call and give my opinion that by and large, being fat and unfit is a voluntary condition.

Let me give you an example: a woman called to tell me about her mean, mean, and oh so mean, husband who is trying to influence her to lose weight and start working out.  She just about had a fit on the phone, telling me that he should just love her the way she is…or he’s, simply, a bad guy.  Since when don’t we owe our families our healthiest selves: mind, body and soul?

When I didn’t agree with her, the harrumph resounded across the land.

I’ve basically told people who call about weight that it is ultimately a simple issue: “eat less, move more.”  That might not result in the kind of body they show off in all those home exercise equipment videos (by the way…does anybody believe you go from fat and flabby, to svelte and ripped exercising 20 minutes a day, three times a week?).  Nonetheless, you can evolve into a more healthy, fit, and attractive version of yourself.

This is all in preparation for an inspirational story of a fat man, 330 pounds, who wanted become a Marine.  Their answer was, well, nope.  Committed as he was to joining the military, he did what is generally said to be too difficult to do: without miracle weight loss potions sold on television, he moved more and ate less.  The 23-year old man gave up beer, cut his food portions way, way down, and exercised 140 pounds away in about a year.

Kindly, the Marine recruiters also worked with him - helping him to develop an appropriate, safe yet effective workout regimen.

When his friends would sit down for beer and pizza, he’d put on a head lamp and go out for a run in the dark.

Eat less…move more.  It’s the least expensive weight management program on the planet.

Depressed People Assisted in Suicides

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Researchers at the Oregon Health and Science University (OHSU) conducted a study published in the British Medical Journal that shows 26% of terminally ill patients in Oregon (with laws supporting doctor-assisted suicide) who requested a lethal cocktail were diagnosed as suffering depression, which is technically a treatable mental illness.

Wesley Smith, a leading euthanasia opponent, says that the “assisted suicide law’s guidelines are merely for show and do not protect the vulnerable or depressed people in Oregon. He adds that the proposed guidelines appearing on Washington’s ballot in November do not require a person’s depression to be treated before a lethal cocktail is issued.”

Rita Marker of the International Task Force on Euthanasia and Assisted Suicide says, “Let’s face the economic facts and force of economic gravity. If someone is depressed and they happen to be terminally ill too, it’s a lot cheaper to write a prescription for a deadly overdose of drugs than for medication to treat the depression, possible counseling to treat depression, and also medication to delay the death.”

No physician should agree to terminate someone’s life, even on their say-so, when they are suffering from a depression. If they were treated for that depression, a significant number would probably wish to squeeze out of their lives every precious moment with their loved ones that was possible. At least we ought to give them that opportunity.

Older Brains Helped By An Internet Workout

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According to a study being released in November’s American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, Internet web searching may just enhance brain activity and keep your elderly (55-75 years of age) brain working at top function.

The study compared 24 subjects between the ages of 55 and 75, and discovered using MRI scans that reading a book helped stimulate certain areas of the brain that had to do with language, memory, and visuals.  They also found that searching the Internet created these same stimulations, but activated more of the frontal, temporal, and cingulated areas of the brain - areas that have a lot to do with decision-making skills.

Can People Ever Really Change?

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A recent female caller wondered if she should stay with and even marry a guy who spent the full first year of their relationship being violent.

I immediately said, “You’re a grown woman.  If you want to play Russian Roulette with your life you have the right to do that.  Please, though, have your Fallopian tubes tied so that you can’t bring any babies into this situation to either be hurt directly or indirectly by a messed up, violent home-life.”

She wanted to know if people can change.  Well, the correct answer is….YES!  Of course people can change.  When people are motivated and disciplined and committed to being, thinking, and doing things differently, they can most definitely evolve in a positive direction.  It does take time and simply acknowledging the need for change is not (contrary to popular thought) 50% of the problem.  You all know that’s true because every one of you remembers making a New Year’s Resolution - which clearly acknowledges a need for change - and even a plan….which just evaporated with time and ennui.

Therefore, in the context of this woman’s call, a person prone to violence is not one who is going to make a quick change.  The caller wanted to know if there was hope that in the future…no matter how distant…that he could be different.  Well, sure - IF he makes the commitment and is committed long term to whatever it takes to change his way of looking at the world, intimate relationships, and his own identity.

An interesting fact is that when people do make such profound changes, they rarely are interested in the people who wanted them when they were less positively functional, as they recognize that it takes a less functional person to be attracted to same.  Said in a bit ‘o different way: emotionally healthy people, even though they may protest love and compassion, just don’t commit their lives to a recalcitrant, unwilling to change, difficult, or dangerous person.  It is because of their own sad inner dynamics that they find solace in being involved with an unhealthy person…it makes them feel needed or puts the responsibility for their unhappiness somewhere else or is simply a place to hide from the threat of not being capable of a good life.

This particular caller thanked me for my advice…I asked her to tell me what my advice was; she said, “I don’t want to play roulette with my life.”  I gave her kudos for making a healthy and good choice.  I also told her that she’d feel stupid for the time already spent, lonely for the company, scared of being alone, and more…but that this decision was still a healthy and good choice.

You see…she is the one in her life she had the power and the necessity to change; focusing on him was just a way to hide from that.

I love the beginning of happy endings…and that call was one of those.