You’ll Never Believe What He Did Now…

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When the girls get together, here’s what happens…

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I Want Him to Want Me

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A wife of 20 years has finally realized what the man she chose to marry and love forever really needs:

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Phone Company Blamed for Exposing Affair

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Gabriella Nagy, a married woman with two children, ages 6 and 7, was cheating on her husband with another man.  So that she and the male bimbo could talk for hours behind her husband’s and children’s backs, she got a cell phone under her maiden name.  The monthly bills came to her marital home. 

Her husband decided to use the same Internet company and home phone service.  The company attempted to save the family some money by consolidating the bills and mailing a “global” invoice to the Nagy home that included an itemized bill for Gabriella’s cell phone service.  Her husband discovered several hour-long phone calls to a single phone number, called it, and the guy on the other end confirmed the affair.

The husband, without a discussion, left her.

This cheating woman had the ultimate nerve to sue the company that sent the consolidated bill and exposed her extramarital affair.  She says she was so distraught that she lost her $100,000 per year job and cried uncontrollably.

Listen to what this twerp had to say: “It was a mistake.  But I didn’t deserve to lose my life over it!”

WHAAAT??  What have her children and husband “lost” over this?  “This” is a massive, insensitive, thoughtless, self-centered betrayal!   The deepest part of Hell, according to Dante’s Inferno is reserved for those who betray the ones they’re supposed to love and honor.  That is because the very fabric of humanity is dependent upon trust.  What does she think she deserves for taking her time, affection, attention, and family income and splurging it on a honey instead of her husband and children? What did she expect her husband would do when he found out his wife was naked with a man other than the one who committed his life to her and fathered her children?  What did she expect would happen when everyone found out that she made the company unknowingly collude with her and then complain that their money-saving action opened the curtain on her bad behavior?

She doesn’t think she deserved to lose her lifestyle over this.  Is she kidding?  Talk about being narcissistic.

She’s suing the company for under a million dollars to teach them a lesson?

That’s gall.

A Strong Father Needs His Wife’s Help

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Stay-at-home moms sometimes worry about the influence of feminist concepts on their parenting skills:

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Happiness Should Be Shared

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A middle-aged woman who was getting married for the first time called my radio program, because she was upset that no one seemed to be as excited as she was.

First of all, no one outside of the immediate participants takes the top rung in excitement.  While I’m happy for my friends who have some momentous event in their lives, I can’t possibly get to the level of excitement that they are experiencing, unless they are somewhat dispassionate or emotionally removed from their own lives!  I can be excited and happy for them, but I can’t be excited like them.

Secondly, when she was asked to enumerate the people in her life who weren’t excited, she mentioned her brother.  A guy!  Excited?  About getting into a tux?  I think not.

When I asked about friends, she said she had none.  This worries me about her marriage.  People who don’t have friendships tend to be loners, more self-absorbed and self-focused.  They avoid vulnerability and openness, and, perhaps most importantly, they don’t have much experience with sacrifice and tolerance….both qualities of a good friend.

Frankly, friends are a necessary part of life, and there are all levels of friendships, from acquaintances with whom you can share experiences, to dear friends with whom you can share your inner world.

One thing I know for sure:  happiness is perfected when it is shared.  Of course, my caller was feeling like the tree fell and no one heard it…she hadn’t brought anyone into the forest with her.

Happiness is perfected when it is shared.  Sharing in joy elevates the experience.  In order to have the kind of friends with whom you can share your joy, you must put yourself out, tolerate their quirks, make time, be loyal, be understanding, and just be there.

His Heart and Mind Are Somewhere Else

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All marriages can hit bumpy patches once in a while.  But one listener didn’t expect a surprise 40 years after the wedding! 

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Divorce, Recession-Style

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A number of news sources recently reported that (sniff, sniff) people just can’t afford to get divorced anymore, what with mortgages upside down, and diminished family income.

Furthermore (more sniffs), in most cases, the couples have to stay together under the same roof just to make ends meet.  No longer can divorced spouses count on maintaining a lifestyle.  No longer are kids summarily thrown into visitation chaos and feelings of abandonment….and that, obviously, is a good thing.

One of the sadder aspects of my three decades plus on radio talking to people in some sort of crisis is the growing realization that many people see adversity as a motivation to turn on each other, rather than to turn to each other.  I understand husbands who feel depressed when they can’t adequately support their families, and I understand wives who feel desperate because they worry for the well-being of their home and children.  But I don’t understand turning away from each other at a time when both need support and hope.  Each spouse needs to (as Archie Bunker often said on “All In The Family”) “stifle themselves” and try to buoy up the other’s state of mind.

In trying to make the other person still feel valued, competent and loved; in telling your spouse that you know that, ultimately, you can count on him/her; in letting your once “dearly beloved” feel your support, makes not only them feel better, it makes YOU feel better.

I’m sure everyone reading this has some sort of strain or stress in their marriage.  Generally, it’s something that can be overcome if you both pull together and put aside your individual resentments and fears long enough to follow through on your marital vows to love, honor and cherish.

Spring Cleaning for Your Head

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Have you ever had the experience of trying not to think of something?  Like when you’re trying to go to sleep and something upsetting keeps coming to mind?  You may attempt to squeeze it out of your mind, but it seems to come back with a vengeance. 

What you learn about your mind is that when you try to shove something into a dark closet, your mind feels compelled to peek into that closet again and again to see if it’s still there. 

Everybody has memories from the past they’d rather not remember.
Everybody has annoying, upsetting, or threatening events going on in their everyday lives.
Everybody is bothered by thoughts they’d rather not have.

Instead of pushing them away, invite them in and deal with them.

Some callers have told me that after a year or two of marriage, they think about an old high school flame, and they wonder if this is an “omen” that they’ve married the wrong person.  No, of course not.

“Courting” is fun; marriage has obligations, responsibilities and challenges.  Even the things we love can feel overwhelming.  Fantasies and thoughts and dreams about someone else are brain “vacations,” taking you to a time when you had no worries.  Invite those thoughts in and examine them:  “Let’s see…if I married John instead of my husband Steve, hmmm…gee, I’d miss Steve’s smile and hugs, his manly chest, his tenderness with the kids, and eventually John would have probably ticked me off too in some silly ways.”

Once you’ve done that, it is no longer an obsession.  The vacation is over, and a greater appreciation of what you do have takes its place.

Don’t fight the thoughts.  Invite them in and talk to them.  Take control, and they will leave on their own.