Did you see the theatrical movie “The Butterfly Effect?” Well, you should. Without giving the whole movie away, it’s about changing past bad things. The assumption is always made (optimistically) that if you could the past, only good will come out of it, starting with the exclusion of that “bad thing.” Things, however, do not necessarily roll that way.
This past weekend, my husband and I went on a motorcycle ride with a friend of ours who had recently broken up with her “multi-year” boyfriend. It was her birthday, and I brought her a “Happy Birthday” cupcake, sewed her a “Dia de los Muertos” purse that she had wanted, and we treated her to lunch. We were having a great time, and it was my turn to make the iced tea birthday toast.
We raised our glasses and I said: “I’m sad for you that you’ve gone through such pain recently, but if you had not gone with him in the first place, we wouldn’t have met you, and you wouldn’t have purchased your own Harley, and we wouldn’t be sitting here today as such good friends. So, no sad moment here. We love you, and happy birthday.”
If I could go back and change history and have them not meet at all, then all the good that came out of it would be gone:
1. Her getting emotionally stronger
2. Her getting her own motorcycle (which she loves and drives all the time).
3. Us becoming good friends.
4. Us taking a beautiful scenic ride and having a wonderful lunch.
….all of this WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN.
The moral of this story? Don’t totally rue the “bad stuff.” Perhaps it’s just fertilizer for what will grow next.