Serving Country or Kids?
March 16, 2010 on 12:00 am | In Children, Military, Parenting, YouTube
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A military mom has been agonizing over a decision she needs to make, and wanted my help:
Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.
Read transcript here.
TrackBack URIA Poem for Claire
March 4, 2010 on 6:15 am | In Children, Parenting, Values
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This is from Barry:
Dear Dr. Laura:
I was a participant in an unwanted, unnecessary divorce…because my wife wasn’t ‘happy.’ I have 3 minor children who, despite my tremendous efforts to the contrary…only get to see me 7-10 days a month. I do everything I can to remain in their lives so I might display to them the importance and value of good character, good values/morals, and integrity….
For Valentine’s Day, I wrote my 5 year old daughter a poem. I’m not a poet by any means. I’m your basic manly man. These words simply came to me in the half-hour it took to write them down. In it are references to many things we do as a family….I thought you might like to read it:
A Poem for Claire
A poem for Claire is what I will try.
I hope it turns out - ya see, I’m only a guy.
There are jobs that I have-
One is being your Dad.
Out of all of the jobs
That one makes me most glad.
We do things we like
And some we don’t mind.
I’m pleased that you’re nice
And so warm and so kind.
I tell you I’m serious
But you know that I’m not
We’re both very silly
And we smile a LOT!
We sit out in back
And look at the clouds
You see shapes I don’t see
You make me so proud.
Walking to school
Is always so fun.
It’s been so cold lately
We can’t wait for the sun!
You fiddle with your homework.
Maybe a snack instead?
But each night we read
Just before time for bed.
I love when we play
You’re so very special
We dance and we laugh
Now it’s time to WRESTLE!
We cuddle on the sofa
Watch TV at night.
But we don’t watch a show
That might give you a fright.
We make up games to play
Sometimes go for a hike.
But what you like most
Is riding your bike!
You play Dan-Ball and Rock Band
And sometimes the Wii.
”Daddy, come look!
Come here! Come see!”
I’m busy in the kitchen
Moving fast there to here.
You’re the first and the loudest
During our dinnertime cheer.
I miss you dearly
When we’re far apart,
But I’ll always remind you
I’m in your head and your heart.
The message is clear
In this poem you hear.
Your Dad loves you greatly
And I will always be near.
I want you to know
You’re my best Valentine.
I will ALWAYS be yours
If you will be mine.
I love you.
Dad
You’ve made me a better man, Dr. Laura. I thank you.
TrackBack URIIf I Could Afford Help, I’d Enjoy My Children More
February 2, 2010 on 12:00 am | In Children, Family, Parenting, Stay-At-Home-Moms, YouTube
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Some Moms get resentful when they see their friends and acquaintances “living the celebrity mom lifestyle,” where they have time to go to the gym and get their nails done, because they have some paid help with the kids. Don’t fall into the trap of believing that having more time for yourself necessarily gives your kids (and you) a better family life:
Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.
Read transcript here.
TrackBack URIBringing My Baby to Work
January 12, 2010 on 12:00 am | In Children, Economy, Parenting, Working Women, YouTube
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When the chips are down, sometimes we have to come up with temporary creative solutions until the crisis passes:
Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.
Read transcript here.
TrackBack URIThe Most Important Job in the World
December 29, 2009 on 8:15 am | In Motherhood, Parenting, Stay-At-Home-Moms
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From a listener after hearing another caller on my radio program:
Dr. Laura:
I grew up listening to you as my own stay-at-home mother bussed [sic] my three siblings and me home after school. Listening to you teach the moms that would call in, I remember thinking that if I ever had kids, I would be “my kid’s mom.” I saw Mom spend over 10 years at home with us, and the investment and dedication [she] modeled stuck with me. Now I am a 24 year-old stay-at-home mom to a bright 13-month-old son.
I just finished listening to a caller who was wondering about taking some yoga classes to get her certification. I knew exactly where she was coming from, because recently, I also was debating starting grad classes or taking up a part-time job.
The past week, I have been feeling like a hamster in a wheel – no goals, [no] direction, not really getting anywhere. I’ve been comparing myself to my “friends” who are in grad school, building their careers, globe-trotting, but also “family - less.” I felt like maybe I needed to keep up. I thought you were being too hard on [the caller] until you said something that led me to tears.
You told her she had the most important job in the world right now, [and] that there will be time to take the yoga classes later. I’ve heard you say things like that before, but this time, you were speaking directly to me.
Thank you for that encouragement and truth. All these years, you were telling everyone else, but I’ve finally made it my own. I do have the most important job in the world. It’s challenging, character-building, but full of blessings. This little boy is growing up very fast.
The rat race can wait…I am MY kid’s mom!
TrackBack URIBeing A Good Parent to A Grownup Child
December 8, 2009 on 8:31 am | In Family, Parenting, YouTube
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I often field questions on my radio program about parenting kidlets and teenagers, but one listener wanted to know how she could be a good parent to a child who is now an adult. Great question.
Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.
Read transcript here.
TrackBack URIA Letter from a Former “Stupid” Parent
December 2, 2009 on 8:00 am | In Children, Parenting, Stay-At-Home-Moms
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Today, I’ve got a guest blog today from Olivia:
Hi, Dr. Laura:
I am a 25 year old married mother of two small boys. Minutes ago, I just finished
reading your book “Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids.” This is why [my reading this] is so timely:
A year ago, some family crisis propelled me into quitting my part-time, yet demanding, job. In many ways, it was a dream job - part-time, flexible, good pay (or so I thought), and fantastic for my resume. My family began to deteriorate rather quickly in spite of our kids not being in day care. My job went to my head, and I spent horrible amounts of time on things that had nothing to do with my family, and even harmed my family relationships. I was being selfish, stupid, and immature as I sought out personal satisfaction and success.
After a major and deserving blow from life, I quit my job, in spite of my board wanting me to stay. In the last year, I have been focusing on my family more, but have been dabbling in a small business. Lately, business has been slow, and I have been praying for it to pick up, or to open my eyes to what God would have me do instead. Stupid, I know, as I have two beautiful sons staring me in the face every day.
A couple of days ago, when I was in the library with my kids, I had this sudden desire to grab a parenting book (no idea what kind), but in a rush I went to the section, perused quickly and grabbed your book. You loudly and clearly stating things I knew in my heart, but hadn’t allowed to be voiced in my head. I really believe this was a divine intervention.
I know that I am not in the season of life to devote lots of time and energy to anything or anyone other than my family. You are completely right about everything you said in your book. Shame on the “so-called” (love how you made fun of that) professionals who tease, shame, and humiliate young, educated women who choose family over career. And shame on we self-proclaimed “strong” women who allow ourselves to be cowed from taking full-time responsibility for our children, family and home life if we are able.
I used to feel embarrassed or apologetic when admitting I was a married mother of two at my age. Now I feel grateful for the path I have chosen, and my joy is full as I recognize the deep personal growth and learning my divinely appointed “job” grants me each and every day as I sacrifice, love, and nurture my family.
Thanks, Dr. Laura. We need more women to speak out the way you do.
TrackBack URIExploiting Kids When Finances Are Tight
November 30, 2009 on 8:00 am | In Children, Economy, Parenting, Reality TV
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When times get tough, some folks dig in and just get more creative and try harder. For some parents, when the economy got tough, they got their children to try harder, and I’m not happy about this at all.
According to the Wall Street Journal, the children’s segment of the modeling industry has seen a 50% increase in applicants in the past three years, as parents try to have the kids’ “looks” subsidize the family income. Also contributing to the growing number of mini-models are the reality TV shows featuring children (Toddlers and Tiaras and Little Miss Perfect come to mind).
I think this is a despicable development. Parents there to exploit their children for their own income and ego? The family income should not be put on the back (or should I say “face”) of children whose ages are still in single digits!
The impact on children is horrendous on many levels:
1. They have to deal with rejection at a very early age. Children take these situations quite personally, and don’t understand the frivolity of choices based upon product, the taste of producers and so on.
2. Kids think they are the most important part of the family - exaggerated value makes for a narcissism that will likely haunt that child throughout life, especially when it disappears as they get older and less cute or desired by Hollywood.
3. The child who is the performer becomes the “golden child,” and other children in the family are terribly hurt as their value to the parents (i.e., love) seems to disappear.
4. Kids learn that money and looks are the focal point of life.
5. Small children don’t understand the ramifications of the four items above and can’t really make the choice for themselves as to whether or not to participate (and such participation would change their lives and might not be in their best interests).
Exploiting children for ANY reason is wrong. And that’s that.
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