Category Archives: Sexuality

57 Years Married and Still “Hot” for Each Other

I read this email on the air, but it’s so good, I wanted to share it with everyone:

Dr. Laura:

You gave me a most wonderful 79th birthday present today, in the form of a caller who showed the typical stupidity of the male.  He was married to his second wife for 25 years, and was concerned, because, while he still enjoyed her, he was not sure that he still really LOVED her.

I have enjoyed your daily “classes” for years, and have learned much.  But there is one class I believe I am uniquely prepared to present. The ladies learn much about “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” from your book and daily sessions.  You tell the ladies how to work us guys, and of your power over us.

Right back at you, my dear!  I have had my magnificent lady eating out of my hands for 57 years, and once in a while, I still playfully remind her that she is just my “first” wife.  You gals aren’t all that complicated.  The answer is simple:  as you get what you need or want, you are more willing to give.  That’s the same principle you preach to the girls.

What does it take?  Really, not much – just a little TLC gets big payoffs.  Try:

1.  FLOWERS – for no special occasion or guilty conscience.  A single rose will
Work.  No greater mileage for $1.50.

2.”I LOVE YOU” – Tell her or show her at least 10 times every day.  It’s easy.  There are so many ways to say it, and even more important, to show it.

3.  COFFEE IN BED – No big deal.  The coffee maker is automatic, and the payoff at my house is BIG.  It always begins with a “thank you” that sounds like it was the first time ever.  She gets this treatment most every day, and if I sleep in, well, then I get to say “thank you!”

4.  REASSURE HER – Tell her how good she is, and back her up every time you can.  She will thank you for it.

Does it really work?  YES!  My LADY loves to tell her friends who often bemoan their love lives and multiple “whatever’s.”  She tells them “The best thing I could wish for you is to be married to my Don for a week.”

Making love to my 75 year old lady is wonderful, and I have the thrill of making her enjoy her sex. (Wow.)  My greatest honor was to be invited into her body so long ago.  She was all mine at 18 and still is.  As the subtle changes came along in her life and body, I was happy, because I knew that I was part of each of them.  She still has great looking “boobs” and a beautiful behind.  I love handing her the towel as she steps out of the shower with that great welcoming smile.

Tomorrow, after breakfast of coffee in bed at 6AM with toast, fruit, and melon, I plan to “have my way” with her once again.  And I have a rose that says it will work!

The luckiest guy you will ever hear from,

Don

P.S.  Thanks for being there when we really needed your guidance.

First Comes Sex…

When I was a kid, all the sitcoms showed married couples sleeping in separate beds.  Evidently, it was unseemly to show married couples sharing the same mattress, lest the idea of “sex” pop into anybody’s mind!

These days, it appears that TV finds marriage unseemly – but not the sex.

A recent study by the Parents Television Council shows that marriage gets little respect on network television.  Instead, extra-marital, kinky sex, partner-swapping, and pedophilia are more likely to get center screen.

The report said that visual references to practices such as voyeurism and sado-masochistic sex outnumbered married sex references by a ratio approaching 3 to 1.  The report contends “Behavior that once was seen as fringe, immoral, or socially destructive has been given the imprimatur of acceptability by the television industry and children are absorbing or even imitating it.”

When parents want to identify and block such programs via the V-Chip, they’re lulled into complacency by the inaccurate and inconsistent designations, such as “S,” signaling sexual content.

The programs the Parents Television Council included in their report were from four weeks of scripted shows on the major networks at the start of the 2007-2008 season.  ABC, CBS, CW, Fox, and NBC, the networks in the study, all declined to comment.

It’s disgusting that the so-called “family hour,” the first hour of prime-time TV, which draws the most young viewers, contains the highest ratio of references to non-married sex vs. married sex.

Dress Codes At Work – A Political Land Mine

Boy, oh boy, talk about a feminista double standard!  There are big problems for men who try to impose a dress code for women.  The subhead of a Wall Street Journal article from June 19 read “When a Man Regulates Attire At Work, Women Often See an Oppressor, Not a Mentor.”  The ultimate suggestion is to have a woman boss lay down the wardrobe law.

Oh, please.

Tom Mills, Managing Partner of a Washington DC law office, was asked to make a firm-wide apology for complaining to the Wall Street Journal’s “On Style” column that the work attire of some young female law associates was based on the “TV-woman lawyer look with skirts 12 inches above the knee and very tight blouses.”  Evidently, the attire seen in many law offices and courtrooms reaffirms the accuracy of his statement.

Mr. Jim Holt, president of the Mid-American Credit Union in Wichita, Kansas, has become a target since he expressed his view publicly that panty hose are more professional than bare legs for working women.  That relatively benign statement got him lots of actual hate mail – hate mail!!  Gee, it doesn’t take much for feministas to start spewing hate, does it?

The rage seems to be centered on the concept that men should not be able to comment, criticize, suggest, offer an opinion, have a preference – nada – towards a woman without being accused of oppression.  What would female bosses do with male associates who came in with muscle shirts and low, baggy pants revealing skin really low on the abdomen?

If women wish to be taken seriously (for their minds, and not their bodies), then they shouldn’t be using professional circumstances to dress as they might if they were looking for casual sex.

The Amorality of Advertising

J.C. Penney officials are upset about a racy, fake advertisement on YouTube, in which the retailer appears to be endorsing teen sex.  The “fake” ad was not done with their knowledge or permission.

The video, called “Speed Dressing,” ends with teens telling the girls’ mother that they’re heading down to the basement to watch TV.  As they head toward the basement door, the words “Today’s the day to get away with it” flash on the screen, echoing Penney’s use of the phrase “Today’s the day to…” in a series of ads it launched last year.  Penney’s logo and slogan then appear on the screen.

The title refers to the beginning of the video which shows two teenagers in their own respective bedrooms stripping down to their underwear and then timing themselves as they race to put their clothes back on. 

The amoral part of this story is the response of Alan Siegel, chief executive of New York strategic-branding company Siegel + Gale.  “It’s not going to reflect well on the brand in Middle America, but the ad is nicely done and the people in it are attractive; young people in New York and LA will get a kick out of it,” he said.

The potential impact on young people is irrelevant, however, as long as it’s clever and attractive?  Amoral thinking at best.

Unprotected Teen Sex on the Rise

The Center for Disease Control calculates that high-school kids are having more sex, and more unprotected intercourse, when compared to the behavior of their older siblings.  Condom use is down, as kids have become more complacent about herpes and AIDS.  Maybe it’s also that the total swing of society in support of teenage sex and babies born out of wedlock is working – a photograph of Britney Spears’ 17 year old sister Jamie’s new baby is worth $1 million.  Hmmmmm.

Octopus Mating Games

California’s Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute has found out some fascinating things about the mating behaviors of octopuses.

First, some general information:  these particular octopuses are about as big as a human hand, and most of that size is in their sucker-covered tentacles.  Their bodies are just walnut-sized.  To procreate, the males deposit “sperm packets” in the female’s body through a specialized tentacle.

Second:  this particular species (aculeatus octopu) is normally yellow with dapples of brown, tan, and grey.  But when a male sees another octopus, he puts on his fighting and flirting colors (both of which look the same), turning nearly white with dark stripes.  That signals that he’s a male, and is ready to fight OR mate. 

Third:  the females will mate with any male octopus that wanders by.  The males are more selective and are more enthralled with the more voluptuous females – skinny girls need not apply.

Fourth:  the little itty-bitty guys don’t want to fight the regulation-size guys, so they crawl along the ocean floor to one of the voluptuous females in a den guarded by the larger male.  These clever smaller dudes remain brown and yellow (typical female behavior).  By hiding and “cross-dressing,” these little guys often manage to get close enough to the female to mate….and, as I reported, she’ll mate with anybody, anytime, anywhere.

Moral to this story??

4,914 Sex Sessions

With all the controversy about inappropriate sex (single women having babies out-of-wedlock on purpose, child sexual abuse in various religious orders, kids performing oral sex in middle school classrooms, etc.), it’s nice to know that I can share with you a positive, healthy, and utterly lovely sexual story.

Nancy K (I’m protecting her privacy!) wrote:
I’d like to respond to your radio program caller who, sadly, had sex with his wife about once every three to six months due to an over-packed lifestyle.  I’ve been married for 27 years to a great guy.  We’ve had our ups and downs-family troubles, kid troubles, you name it – some of them pretty devastating,  but our marriage has survived due to commitment, faith in God, and the intimacy that holds us together when the storms hit.

Since I can remember, we have sex every other day…yes, you read correctly.  Barring serious illness or surgery, even during the early years when our kids were young, through the teen years when we had kids all over the house, and now through the college years when my kids come home to visit, we have kept this pattern.  It has not always been easy!  Sometimes, we need to be creative.
We have a lock on our door, and a television in the bedroom as a sound buffer.  We have even “snuck” away from our home for a quick evening in a local, cheap hotel, and returned before bedtime, all for the price of a dinner and a movie out.  Sometimes, he drops by at lunch, if he’s out on a customer call, or I meet him.

I estimate that to be approximately 4,914 sessions!  Mind you, not all of these times are steamy hours of sex.  Some last only minutes, but the connection is there, and I can say with confidence that I challenge anything or anyone to come between us, because we are truly one.

When marriages allow all the intimacy to be sucked out of their lives, they will not have anything to cling to when trouble comes, and it will come in some form during your marriage.  I don’t always feel like having sex, but I always feel like being close to him, and by seeing the best in my man, respecting him and his needs, and honoring him.  I find that I can almost always get “in the mood” because he values me.

My hubby bought me “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” as a little gift one day – and I read it and loved it.  I picked up some new pointers, and used it as a refresher course to jump-start an already-good marriage.

I quoted this letter in full because I believe that the most devastating aspect of a marriage is one in which the spouses take each other for granted, serve their own moods or desires, and don’t wake up every day wondering what they can do to make the other’s life worth living.

The World’s Best Lovers

The GfK Group (www.gfk.com) is one of the largest market research companies in the world.  They recently released the results of a study commissioned by the Wall Street Journal Europe, in which they surveyed the sexual attitudes of 19,100 people in 20 countries:   www.gfk.com/group/press_information/press_releases/00715/index.en.html

One third of Americans and one third of Europeans believe that their countries have the best lovers.  The Greeks are the most confident – 77% rated their own country “tops” in matters of sex.  The exceptions are Belgians, Germans and the Dutch who assume that the best lovers aren’t in their own countries, but in….Italy.  And 69% of Italians agree with them!

The Greeks are also at the front of the class when it comes to frequency of lovemaking.  One quarter of Greeks say that “at least five times a week” is appropriate, while only 10% of Europeans and 16% of Americans feel the same way. 

Adultery in marriage is also regarded very differently in various countries:  90% of Turks thought adultery was intolerable; 40% of Americans agree with the Turkish viewpoint, and in all countries, women are more unforgiving of extra-marital sex than men.