Category Archives: Sexuality

One in Four Teenage Girls Has an STD

The results of the first national study to measure the most common sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) found in young women were released recently by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

According to the report, 3.2 million teenage girls between the ages of 14 and 19 were found to have the human papillovirus (HPV), chlamydia, genital herpes or trichomoniasis.  The study did not determine the number of girls who had HIV/AIDS, syphilis or gonorrhea.

I don’t know what qualifies as an epidemic here, but clearly, these numbers represent a crisis of monstrous proportions.  Responsible adults forming public should be figuring out how we can reverse the direction of these horrifying statistics.  The wholesale distribution of condoms and consensual counseling at the high school level has not dampened the levels of risky behavior among the nation’s teens.  Sex education has apparently been successful at teaching our children how to do it…often, and clearly, not safely.

Do Teens Yearn for Internet Seduction?

Reuters’ Julie Steenhuysen wrote a news essay recently which was a real shocker.  She quoted Janis Wolak of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire in Durham:

A lot of the characterizations that you see in Internet safety information suggest that sex offenders are targeting very young children and using violence and deception against their victims….

Especially since social networking sites became popular, people are suggesting that these offenders are using information to stalk and abduct their victims.  We are not seeing those types of cases.  The great majority of cases we have seen involved young teenagers, mostly 13, 14, 15 year old girls who are targeted by adults on the Internet who are straightforward about being interested in sex. 

From the perspective of the victim, these are romances.

Among the study’s other findings:

* Internet offenders pretended to be teenagers in only 5% of the crimes studied.
* Nearly 75% of victims who met offenders did so more than once.
* Youths at risk have “buddy lists” including strangers, and they discuss sex online with strangers.
* Boys who are gay or questioning their sexuality are more susceptible to Internet-initiated sex crimes than other populations, resulting in 15% of criminal cases.

Other than religious institutions, there is virtually nothing in our society that elevates sexuality to a spiritual status.  This is the result of a society which takes kids out of school (without parental notification) for abortions; which has peer sex classes showing how to put condoms on bananas; which has “sex fairs” at major colleges and universities; which has porn as mainstream, primetime television and advertising; which has practically naked models in store windows for Abercrombie & Fitch and Victoria’s Secret; which has families repeatedly torn apart by busy, “two parent career” homes, divorce, re-marriage, shack-ups, and other adult misbehaviors that emotionally devastate children who look elsewhere for love and comfort. 

What is normalized is yearned for by children who want to be “adults.”

Ivy League “Porn” Classes

Once Mom and Dad have covered the $45,000 for room, board and tuition at Yale University, the students get to compete free to win a porn-star “look-alike” contest as part of the school’s “Sex Week,” which also includes learning and using various sex toy gadgets and tips on making your dorm room a college love pad.

The rationale, as we’ve often heard before, is that they’re probably gonna “do it” anyway, and this way, they’ll have information on how to do it properly.  You mean there’s a “proper” way to hook up?  Oh, yeah, use a condom for your genitals.  But what do you do for your soul and psyche  after misusing your sexuality so frivolously?

Let’s hear it for the reputation of “Yalies” who come to school to become leaders. There are those at Yale who are not so amused:

“Call me a curmudgeon, but I find that my daily ritual of waking up with a cup of coffee, a cigarette, and a copy of the Yale Daily News is a little less pleasant when a smiling freshman holding a” [sexual aid too graphic to mention] “is staring back at me from the front page…” — Blogger Will Wilson wrote on the Yale Free Press blog. (FoxNews.com, 2/15/08).

Seems that Yale is just trying to keep up with the other “party” schools.

Seventeen Magazine Responds…

Last week, I posted a blog entitled “Accidental Sex?” in which I commented about an article in Seventeen Magazine entitled “Shocking Ways You Could Get Pregnant By Accident.” 

I got an email from a listener who had written to Seventeen to complain about the article.  She sent me a copy of their response, or as she said: “let’s be sure not to alienate anyone, was their bottom line.  Good grief!” 

Good grief, indeed.  I’ll let you be the judge.  Here’s the letter from Seventeen:

Thank you for your letter.  We are very interested in all of your comments, questions and concerns.

Seventeen has a readership of millions of girls, and it is our mission, indeed our obligation, to give these girls information, entertainment and advice they can turn to.  As the oldest magazine in existence for teenagers, we also have 60 years of experience in talking to them and finding ways of getting them to listen.  We have found that when teens feel they are being lectured, condescended to, or getting nothing but “don’ts,” they stop listening.

What we attempt to do in every article is to give teens basic facts and warnings, in an effort to make sure that if they do decide to take a step, like to become sexually active, they are aware of the most likely issues and safety conditions and will at least think twice about what they are doing and try to do it in the most responsible way possible.

We at Seventeen work as best we can to get the right kind of message across without alienating readers.  We will continue to try to give our readers advice that works, and to serve them as well as we can.

Thanks again for writing us.

Sincerely,

The Editors

Accidental Sex?

Any woman who has ever been pregnant knows how absurd it is when we hear about some young woman who did not know she was pregnant until the moment at which she is giving birth to a full-term baby.  Preposterous, of course.  Its more like she’s not willing to take responsibility.  Well, the February issue of Seventeen magazine focuses on “Shocking Ways You Could Get Pregnant By Accident.”  Huh?

The cover piece does mention the option of not having sex, and even points out that “studies show that girls who have a big plan for their future are significantly less likely to get pregnant,” but the main focus of the magazine article is not about how to avoid sex simply because you feel all tingly and your girlfriends are doing it or the guy tells you that you won’t be popular if you don’t.  It’s mainly about accepting that it’ll probably happen, so this is how you talk him into a condom or how you take the pill (which, by the way, does not protect against sexually-transmitted diseases).

“…sex is a natural, healthy and fun part of loving relationships.”  That is a fact.  What Seventeen does not take an entire issue to explain is that every time you feel butterflies or are hot for someone, it isn’t love.  The issue does not spend page after page extolling the virtues of mature awe, respect, admiration, friendship, trust, etc., which take years to develop and can really only take place once you’re a mature adult.

Surely Seventeen magazine knows that the number one issue for teens is acceptance and fitting in.  To be such a formidable influence in the lives of teens and to be so remiss in cheating them out of the blessings of true intimacy – instead, touting the fulfillment of urges as love justifying sex – is a sad, irresponsible, and disgusting misuse of their power.

When A Man Isn’t Loved By A Woman

I got these two emails the other day, and they came in almost back to back.  And I’m sad to say that I “get” it.  You’re going to be horrified. 

Kristen wrote: “My best friend and I were in the car the other day and heard a radio advertisement for a new dating service  (more like a disservice). It isn’t your typical dating site, no, no; this site is for those looking to commit adultery. Their slogan? ‘When Monogamy Becomes Monotony.’ The tab on my internet browser even labeled it ‘Married Dating.’ Apparently dating these days isn’t just for single folks anymore.  The first thing that popped into my head was, ‘Boy I wonder how long it will take for someone to call Dr. Laura to tell her how they found this site on their spouse’s ‘favorites’ list.’ What a shame!

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But I Don’t “FEEL” Like It!

“But why should I have to do ‘X’ when I don’t feel like it?”

That is by far the single most expressed sentiment to excuse oneself from fulfilling obligations to others. Feelings have been elevated from the mercurial and temporary to positions of absolute truth and power. “I feel that…” is most always used when one actually is expressing thoughts, beliefs, opinions, guesses, and concerns.

One of the most typical problems in marriages is not religion, politics or finances – it’s the issue of sexuality. For the most part, the pattern is that a man and woman have a great out-of-wedlock sexual relationship, full of passion and spontaneity. Once married, and especially once children come on the scene, too many women “feel” less and less like being their husband’s lover and girlfriend. I have talked to hundreds, if not thousands, of women over the more than thirty years I’ve been on radio, and the story is always the same: “I’m just too tired…or…annoyed to feel like having sex.” I ask them what they expect their husbands to do. “Be understanding,” they say. Continue reading

Sex as a Commodity

Match.com, and its association with Dr. Phil McGraw (who has signed up to place his imprimatur on the prospective “matches”) has been advertised all over the television dial. The founder of Match.com, Gary Kremen, chief executive of Grant Media LLC, made the dot.com deal of the century. His sale of Sex.com to “anonymous buyers” (potentially one of the most lucrative sites on the Web because of its provocative name) for $12 million in cash and stock ranks as one of the most expensive Web domain name transfers ever!According to CNN, “The new owners said in the statement that they plan to transform Sex.com in ‘the market-leading adult entertainment destination,’ which they said would include ‘adult dating opportunities,’ sex and relationship advice, erotica, video-on-demand and live chat.”The site makes money selling banner ads pointing to online pornography sites and Kremen will be staying aboard as an “adviser” to the site.Here you have it, the ultimate goal of the 1960′s sexual revolution: sex without loving commitments, obligations, complications; pure sex for recreation. There is no differentiation between the sacred and the profane with respect to sexuality any more. Not only has the internet eliminated the notion of “adult bookstores and entertainment” being way off the main street, check your local University course handbook and you’ll find courses in perversions and pornography presented in as positive a perspective as anti-United States politics!The American Psychological Society has published articles which explain that sexual relations between adult men and minor boys is largely a positive issue for the children involved – stating that the only real negatives come from oppressed members of Western Society. Continue reading