Category Archives: Shacking-Up

Sexualizing Our Kids

The problem with exposing kids to sex has far more to do with trivialization and objectification than simply encouraging kids to do it.  It has to do with what kids are taught about human connection. 

Feminists are always saying that it doesn’t matter how a woman dresses.  Well, actually it does.  It sends both gals and guys a message.  When a woman dresses provocatively, it basically tells the universe that it is the best she has to offer.  Sure her body may be beautiful, but you have to realize that for guys, the beauty of a woman’s body eclipses her inner beauty (especially with all the movies out there that are geared towards teenage boys and celebrate guys sleeping around).

Women who tend to objectify themselves are more likely to have eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression, and they are more prone to being sexual risk-takers.  If women are going to represent themselves as sex objects, then there will be no equality between males and females. 

I get so many calls from parents concerned about their kids being out of control and acting like they are adults in committed relationships.  Their kids are shacking up because they’re still rebelling and don’t want to follow the rules.  This behavior is dominating our society, and for parents, it’s like being up against Goliath. 

So, what can we do?

Parents have to spend a lot more time being invested and involved with their kids. Stop with the divorces and working 17 jobs.  Realize that if you are going to have kids, you have a huge responsibility ahead of you.  Parents should praise kids’ intellectual, creative, and athletic abilities, but value their effort, hard work, and character over achievements.  Character is far more important than looks or personal accomplishments.  In short, parents really need to recommit to being parents. 

And remember, if you don’t put the time, effort, and caring in to your kids, somebody else will.  Do you want it to be you or their buddies and the media?

Baby Shower for Shack-Up Honey

Two people get to know each other through dating.  They develop awe, respect and love for each and then decide to marry.  The next step is usually creating another life which should be celebrated as a blessed event.  But what about attending a baby shower for a “shack-up pregnant honey”?

Watch: Baby Shower for Shack-Up Honey
Read the transcript

Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura

Lying to Ourselves

Some callers to my radio program are amazed when I explain that their situation is entirely of their own making, and don’t allow them to complain about someone else as the architect of their situation.

Sadly, a typical scenario goes like this:  a young woman caller with one or two illegitimate children is shacking up for years and years with a guy who is now out on the dating scene.  (Well, why shouldn’t he date?  He’s a single man with a consort!).  When the young woman protests that they have a “commitment,” I ask “What is the commitment?  Where is it?”  There is no commitment involved in unmarried sex or procreation or cohabitation.  It’s all “free-flowing,” which is exactly what both paid for when they signed up to not sign up for any obligation past the feeling of the moment.

The truth about females is that we lie to ourselves when we say we can just “hang out” or have “hook-up level” sex and make babies with someone who says “I love you,” but ultimately doesn’t walk the talk. 

We want to nest, settle down, and have someone love us and protect us and provide for us, but we behave in ways that demonstrate massive denial, insecurity, and a kind of pathetic desperation or downright foolishness.

None of this makes a woman feel special, put on a pedestal, valued or really loved.  And none of this protects the needs of children.  More and more women of late are intentionally having babies without marriage because, in my opinion, they are not competent to provide love and affection and attention to anything outside themselves, and the feminista women around them applaud the “no men” clause.  This is atrocious, as it undermines society and puts children in the position of no daddy

None of you should show any support for any woman who makes this choice.  No support…..and lots of negative judgment.  Please.

Moral Nearsightedness

Earlier this month, I took a call that I thought was a perfect example of how “moral nearsightedness” is overcoming American society.

This twenty-something young woman was pregnant out-of-wedlock, “shacking up” with her alleged fiance (they are living with his father), and the fiance doesn’t have enough income to support a wife and child.

But that’s not why she called!!

In fact, when I pointed out the irresponsibility and immaturity of conceiving out of wedlock with a guy incapable of supporting a family, I got back:  “Well, that’s not my question!” (And, by the way, she didn’t want to have a wedding until after the baby was born and she got her figure back in order to wear a white gown).

Her question actually related to her mother.  Apparently, her mommy came to visit and “got it on” with the fiance’s dad….all night.  There were other children (of other family members) in the home when this was happening.

That’s as far as she got when I said: “It’s genetic.”
She responded with:  “What?”
I repeated and expanded: “It’s genetic…having no moral foundation for decisions.  Like mother, like daughter.”

Now that may sound harsh to you, but truth often is, and there was nothing I could do to change anything about this situation.  She was already “shacking up” and pregnant; her mother already had humped the maybe future father-in-law.  Her question was going to be about confronting her mom about this outrageous behavior.  I couldn’t bear to hear her even go there, considering she was the pot and the kettle all by herself.

It’s a shame both of our eyes point only outwards.  It would be a far, far better thing if one of them turned inwards.

Happiness is NOT the Highest Value

Earlier this week, I got a call from a 36 year old woman who has been “shacking up” with her boyfriend for four years.  She wants to have children, but senses his ambivalence.  The answer I gave her applies to all the otherwise intelligent women who do this.

You should move out and say “I’ve decided I’ve made a horrible mistake and the next time I’m living under the same roof as a man, I’m going to be his wife!”
You don’t demand anything.  You don’t threaten anything. You act like a dignified woman, instead of an unpaid whore.  It’s as simple as that.  A man who loves and respects a woman wouldn’t treat you like that.

When I asked this caller “What would you tell your son?” at first, she didn’t understand that I was raising a hypothetical question about how she would explain this behavior to her “future” child.  She started to say, “Well, if you’re both happy, and you’re both-” and I immediately cut in and said she should not make babies.  If you’re going to do that to your kid, don’t have any.  If you’re going to tell your daughter “…as long as you’re happy and you’re screwing your brains out every night with a guy who doesn’t want to commit his life to you, it’s all okay!” – we don’t need any more parents like that. Continue reading

Child Abuse More Likely in Shack-Up Relationships

When a woman wishes to diminish her own value (as well as that of the covenant of marriage) by cohabitating with a man who is not willing to make the vow of committing his life to her, it’s a shame.  When a woman with children does so, it too often becomes a crime.

Thirty years ago, nearly 80% of America’s children lived with both their Mommy and Daddy, who were married.  Now, only two-thirds of them do.  Of all families with children, nearly 30% are now one-parent families, up from 17% in 1977.  The net result is instability, neglect, and the likelihood that children will be in homes with adults who have no biological tie to them. Continue reading