Moral Nearsightedness

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Earlier this month, I took a call that I thought was a perfect example of how “moral nearsightedness” is overcoming American society.

This twenty-something young woman was pregnant out-of-wedlock, “shacking up” with her alleged fiance (they are living with his father), and the fiance doesn’t have enough income to support a wife and child.

But that’s not why she called!!

In fact, when I pointed out the irresponsibility and immaturity of conceiving out of wedlock with a guy incapable of supporting a family, I got back:  “Well, that’s not my question!” (And, by the way, she didn’t want to have a wedding until after the baby was born and she got her figure back in order to wear a white gown).

Her question actually related to her mother.  Apparently, her mommy came to visit and “got it on” with the fiance’s dad….all night.  There were other children (of other family members) in the home when this was happening.

That’s as far as she got when I said: “It’s genetic.”
She responded with:  “What?”
I repeated and expanded: “It’s genetic…having no moral foundation for decisions.  Like mother, like daughter.”

Now that may sound harsh to you, but truth often is, and there was nothing I could do to change anything about this situation.  She was already “shacking up” and pregnant; her mother already had humped the maybe future father-in-law.  Her question was going to be about confronting her mom about this outrageous behavior.  I couldn’t bear to hear her even go there, considering she was the pot and the kettle all by herself.

It’s a shame both of our eyes point only outwards.  It would be a far, far better thing if one of them turned inwards.

Happiness is NOT the Highest Value

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Earlier this week, I got a call from a 36 year old woman who has been “shacking up” with her boyfriend for four years.  She wants to have children, but senses his ambivalence.  The answer I gave her applies to all the otherwise intelligent women who do this.

You should move out and say “I’ve decided I’ve made a horrible mistake and the next time I’m living under the same roof as a man, I’m going to be his wife!”
You don’t demand anything.  You don’t threaten anything. You act like a dignified woman, instead of an unpaid whore.  It’s as simple as that.  A man who loves and respects a woman wouldn’t treat you like that.

When I asked this caller “What would you tell your son?” at first, she didn’t understand that I was raising a hypothetical question about how she would explain this behavior to her “future” child.  She started to say, “Well, if you’re both happy, and you’re both-” and I immediately cut in and said she should not make babies.  If you’re going to do that to your kid, don’t have any.  If you’re going to tell your daughter “…as long as you’re happy and you’re screwing your brains out every night with a guy who doesn’t want to commit his life to you, it’s all okay!” - we don’t need any more parents like that. Continue reading Happiness is NOT the Highest Value…

Child Abuse More Likely in Shack-Up Relationships

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When a woman wishes to diminish her own value (as well as that of the covenant of marriage) by cohabitating with a man who is not willing to make the vow of committing his life to her, it’s a shame.  When a woman with children does so, it too often becomes a crime.

Thirty years ago, nearly 80% of America’s children lived with both their Mommy and Daddy, who were married.  Now, only two-thirds of them do.  Of all families with children, nearly 30% are now one-parent families, up from 17% in 1977.  The net result is instability, neglect, and the likelihood that children will be in homes with adults who have no biological tie to them. Continue reading Child Abuse More Likely in Shack-Up Relationships…