Happiness is NOT the Highest Value

January 17, 2008 on 12:00 am | In Children, Commitment, Marriage, Relationships, Shacking-Up  Email This Post

Earlier this week, I got a call from a 36 year old woman who has been “shacking up” with her boyfriend for four years.  She wants to have children, but senses his ambivalence.  The answer I gave her applies to all the otherwise intelligent women who do this.

You should move out and say “I’ve decided I’ve made a horrible mistake and the next time I’m living under the same roof as a man, I’m going to be his wife!”
You don’t demand anything.  You don’t threaten anything. You act like a dignified woman, instead of an unpaid whore.  It’s as simple as that.  A man who loves and respects a woman wouldn’t treat you like that.

When I asked this caller “What would you tell your son?” at first, she didn’t understand that I was raising a hypothetical question about how she would explain this behavior to her “future” child.  She started to say, “Well, if you’re both happy, and you’re both-” and I immediately cut in and said she should not make babies.  If you’re going to do that to your kid, don’t have any.  If you’re going to tell your daughter “…as long as you’re happy and you’re screwing your brains out every night with a guy who doesn’t want to commit his life to you, it’s all okay!” - we don’t need any more parents like that. Continue reading Happiness is NOT the Highest Value…

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Child Abuse More Likely in Shack-Up Relationships

December 6, 2007 on 7:00 am | In Child Abuse, Children, Relationships, Shacking-Up  Email This Post

When a woman wishes to diminish her own value (as well as that of the covenant of marriage) by cohabitating with a man who is not willing to make the vow of committing his life to her, it’s a shame.  When a woman with children does so, it too often becomes a crime.

Thirty years ago, nearly 80% of America’s children lived with both their Mommy and Daddy, who were married.  Now, only two-thirds of them do.  Of all families with children, nearly 30% are now one-parent families, up from 17% in 1977.  The net result is instability, neglect, and the likelihood that children will be in homes with adults who have no biological tie to them. Continue reading Child Abuse More Likely in Shack-Up Relationships…

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