I get calls all the time from young, emotionally hungry young women (girls, actually), who think that an older, often married, man really loves them. It makes me so sad in my heart to hear these young women denying reality and setting themselves up for hurt.
20 year old Sahel Kazemi thought she had it made in the shade, because a celebrity, a former NFL football star, Steve McNair, took her partying in VIP rooms and on vacations for eight months. She believed him when he got her on his condo bed for sex that he was going to leave his wife of twelve years for her. He didn’t.
And then, one day, she saw some other young thing – probably another girl believing she was the one who was special to McNair. So, one night, when McNair was sitting on his sofa, likely asleep, she shot him twice in the head and twice in the chest. Then she sat down next to him, positioning herself so that she would fall into his lap, and shot herself (according to FoxNews).
Here was an attractive young girl (she had just turned twenty), a teenager, a high school dropout who had moved with a boyfriend at age 17 to Nashville from Florida. When she was 9, her mother was murdered, and, born in Iran, she and her family were persecuted for their religious faith.
This is a lot of turmoil and chaos and hurt for a young girl, and it is sad that so many family members and family friends tell this upbeat story about her, surprised that she would do such a thing. She was clearly emotionally tortured and vulnerable, needy, and naive. Her life began and ended in violence.
Men like McNair make me sick. I am sicker still, reading sycophants talk about his actions on the football field, as though the admiration he earned for running a ball around a field should count for more than the human lives he betrayed. He had a wife, with whom he had two sons, and two more sons from I don’t know where and I don’t know by whom. He was a 36 year old man who had been given great opportunities and huzzahs for his accomplishments. His response was to cater to his childish needs to “do” young women who (without question) would simply adore him.
It is sad that this ended in death for him and a naive and needy girl who believed that without him, there was no purpose in life.
It is sad that, as I speak, older accomplished men in business, politics, clergy, academe, and medicine are doing the exact same thing, in order to fulfill their needs to receive a naive reverence, to feel youthful and important in the reflection of a young woman, or because they feel entitled to spoils because of their celebrity or wealth or power.
I warn young girls every day to live a life of integrity and modesty with morals, so they won’t be used in such a way. Sometimes, though, a girl is so damaged that shortcuts seem the only way.
This time, it resulted in death seeming the only way.