Britain Forsakes Families

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Besides the assault on Western civilization from the outside by Islamist jihadists, we are deconstructing our own society by declaring null and void basic concepts of mother- and father-centered lives for children.

Forget the biology:  Male and female create offspring

Forget the psychology and sociology:  children who do not have Mom and Dad-centered home lives tend to have higher poverty rates, and more problems on all levels with education, violence, and substance abuse,

Forget everything that is basic and makes sense, because some women are so selfish and/or incompetent to have a healthy relationship with a man that their desire - desire - is to have a child, intentionally robbing that child of a father and a mom and dad-centered home.

Well, permission to do so has been granted by the British government to do just that.  The British government voted just last week to remove the requirement that fertility clinics consider a child’s need for a father.  Let me repeat:  they removed the requirement that fertility clinics even consider a child’s need for a father.  Can you believe that?  The best interests of a child are eliminated from discourse, because a female wants to make a baby for her own pleasure - and a historically civilized government backs her up?  Sheesh!

Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, the Roman Catholic Archbishop of Westminster, in an interview with London’s “The Times,” said, “I think it strange that the government should want to take away not just the need for a father, but the right for a father.”

This action effectively declared fathers an irrelevance in modern Britain.  It is scary that only 60% of Brits who were polled believed that a child should have a mommy and a daddy - that’s the power of the “feminista” movement!

Here are some letters that were sent to London’s “Daily Mail:”

1. Raised in a single-parent family, I can say from experience that a child needs a father.  Mothers alone cannot take his place.  It’s a selfish act and implies women are more concerned with fulfilling their own needs to have a child than thinking of the child’s welfare.  Men:  STOP DONATING SPERM!

2. What about a man’s right to have children without a mother?  In order to avoid sex discrimination the [government] must surely now provide surrogate mothers for any would-be father who asks for one in order that he might have children.

3. With all our problems with ‘feral, fatherless’ youngsters in modern Britain, this vote seems utterly baffling, and frankly, obscene.

4. Is there really any need for a mother either?

Endurance and Purpose: Antidotes to Despair

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Last month, I was asked to write a note to wives of Los Angeles SWAT team members (”warrior wives”) after a SWAT officer was killed in a real life incident.  I thought it made sense to share it with all of you:

Not long ago, I received an award from a Native American patriot group for being “the proud mother of a deployed American paratrooper.”  The representatives of this group travel the country giving special awards to military personnel and their families honoring their efforts, sacrifices, and suffering.  Part of the quite moving ceremony was that I was given a Native American name.  The representative of the tribe said that he got special permission from the elders to do so, and that he prayed to the spirits for many days until they told him what name to give me:  Walks With Warriors.

The obvious irony is that I talk about “warriors” with great reverence and respect almost every day on my radio program.  Modern-day warriors include the military, firemen, and the police.  These folks elect to put themselves in harm’s way for perfect and imperfect strangers.  Why?  Because as the hot dog commercial touted, they “obey a higher power.”  That higher power is purpose.

When my son volunteered for the military, I was at once proud and scared.  I talked to him just before he left for basic training and said something like “You know, honey, this is not like a video game or shooting targets.  There will be young men on the other side trying to kill you before you kill them.”  “Mom,” he replied, nonplussed while I was reverberating with discomfort, “the way I drive, I could get killed on the freeway.  Of course, I don’t want to die or even get hurt.  And some day, I’m going to die anyway, because, eventually, we all do.  If I die in combat, I will at least have died for a noble purpose.”

I was stunned.  My eighteen year old wild kid had overnight turned into a man who understood that a life without purpose is the greatest loss.  The constant memory of that conversation is what buoys me as a mother of a combat soldier.  I’m so proud.

I have used my own experience to help the mothers, wives, and children of warriors; I help them understand that they are not just wives, mothers, and children - they are warrior wives, warrior mothers, and warrior children - and provide them real back-up for these extraordinary people  The sacrifice of time, energy, commitment, financial riches, and sometimes life and limb, make these warriors and their families special and deserving of infinitely more respect than they get by some who don’t appreciate the price of freedom from enemies foreign and domestic, as well as from natural disasters.

I am reminded of a scene from the Yul Brynner version of the film, “The Magnificent Seven.” It takes place in Mexico, where a small village is one of the many terrorized by a roving gang of Mexican bandits preying on their own.  Yul and six of his gun-slinging buddies are hired to protect the town.  The scene of most importance to the issue of heroes and warriors is one in which one of the gunslingers tries to shoo away two young boys who are enthralled with him as a warrior and hero.  One of them insults his own father, calling him a coward.  The gunman grabs him and yells at him (I’m paraphrasing here):  “We’re just men with guns.  Your fathers are the real heroes.  They work hard every day trying to squeeze food from the dirt to take care of your mothers and siblings.  They struggle against the forces of nature and the evil of bandits.  And they survive to protect and provide for you - they are the real heroes!”

The truth is, we need both.  We need those willing to fight evil and disasters and we need those who toil each day supporting those warriors and the life they have us live.  When we lose “one of ours,” and collapse into negativity and despair, we destroy 1) what they built, and 2) what they lost.  Their deaths are best honored by our continuing to do what they lived for:  to have wonderful, productive, happy, and safe lives. 

Don’t take what they lost and waste it with self-pity and rage.  Take what they lost and honor their memory and their efforts by squeezing every ounce of joy that life,  love, relationships, hobbies, work, family, and just plain smelling the lilacs can give.

We most honor the deaths of warriors by continuing their commitment, not by giving up on our own. 

A respected rabbi once said:  “Despair is a cheap excuse for avoiding one’s purpose in life.  And a sense of purpose is the best way to avoid despair.”  I have relied on this sentiment many times as despair has grabbed at my feet.  I hope this helps you.

My heart is with all of you, past and present.

Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger

Is “Personal Responsibility” a Four-Letter Word?

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My, my, my.  My comments last week on why many men stray from their marriage vows generated more email to me than any one thing I’ve said in years.  85% of the letters I received were wonderfully appreciative and supportive of what I said.  Men and women alike “got” what I was saying and acknowledged the need for husbands and wives to share the responsibility for the health of their marriages. 

One wrote “After seeing you on The Today Show, I asked myself, ‘Am I the kind of wife my husband wants to come home to?’  I look at each day as an opportunity to honor him.  Thank you for challenging me to have the courage to change.  My husband will never go a day without knowing his wife needs, loves and respects him.”

Another person emailed me because my comments motivated her to look at her own issues with the overall concept of personal responsibility.  This young woman wrote that she was motivated by my comments to stop her methamphetamine addiction:

“I have chosen to quit.  Once you stop feeling like such a victim to some inanimate object (the pipe does not jump into your mouth on its own) you realize your power over it.”

Other folks, though, seemed absolutely apoplectic over my point of view that people need to take responsibility for their lives and their relationships. 

Clearly this is the crux of the problem in this country.  The concept of promoting personal responsibility in a society that encourages victims to stay victims and glamorizes the bad behavior of celebrities and politicians seems to be a hot button that makes some folks’ heads explode.  People tend to hold on to their anger, hurt and depression, especially if they don’t have the tools they need to break out of the cycle of personal self-destruction.

That’s why I wrote Stop Whining, Start Living.  I wrote it because I wanted to help people enjoy their lives more and be more content inside themselves.  None of us can do that if we persist in the self-defeating notion that we are victims… that only leads to complaining and not LIVING.

This book is not for people who want to embrace their problems - it’s for people who want to solve them and move on to a more productive and happy life.  If you want to feel more in control of your situations in families, neighborhoods, jobs, etc., then you first have to look inside yourself and see what YOU are doing that you shouldn’t be… or what you are NOT doing that you should be!  This is where the power to change everything comes in.

Some people won’t ever do this.  They hold on to sadness, victimhood and complaints.  But those who read Stop Whining with an open heart and mind will find the keys - through other people’s real experiences and stories - to make their life easier and more pleasurable; to improve their lives as husbands, wives, parents, and friends, and to discover the joy of being an evolved human being.

Getting letters and calls from people who have taken my advice to stop whining and turn themselves into productive members of society is all the inspiration I need to keep on keeping on.  That’s what puts the smile on my face.

Book signing tonight in Costa Mesa, California:  And if you want to see me really smile and you live in L.A. or Orange County, come on down tonight to the Barnes and Noble at the Metro Pointe Mall in Costa Mesa at 7pm.  I’ll be signing copies of the aforementioned new book, Stop Whining, Start Living for all of you who embrace your own personal responsibility.

American Values, Google Edition

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Go ahead and guess what came out as Number 3 on AOL’s “Top Searches from Mobile Devices.”  Right!  It’s porn.  The Wall Street Journal’s Carl Bialik (The Numbers Guy) got the original list in a draft press release, and said he “pointed out the surprising entry” to a spokeswoman, who said that normally, such terms are “scrubbed from the list.”  And guess what?  When the final list was released, “porn” was nowhere to be found, replaced by “iPhone,” which was pushed up to Number 3 from Number 4 on the original draft release.

It gets even better….

“…Britney Spears and Saddam Hussein could each top the category of ‘celebrity’ and ‘news,’ respectively, in lists from multiple search engines.  Those search engines willing to share numbers beyond their news releases made clear that, in search land, the troubled pop singer trumped the late dictator.  Searches for Ms. Spears ran six times those for Mr. Hussein on Yahoo!, and nearly 600 times on Lycos.”

How embarrassing for our nation.

[sources:  Bialik article:  you can search it on WSJ.com under The Numbers Guy for December 21.  Title of article is "What Topics Filled (Clean) Minds in '07?  For One:  An Asterisk or use the link here: http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB119820461738044109-lECMb7qhI7UaxADXmlRkefZGJhI_20081220.html?mod=rss_free  ] 

Not All Points of View are Worthy of Respect

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I love civility; wish there were more of it (yeah, here’s the “but”): but I don’t like the falseness of saying, “I respect your point of view,” or, “I respect everyone’s point of view” when it is so far from the truth, it is stretched beyond the molecular limits!Not all points of view or opinions are worthy of respect. I don’t respect the point of view that babies can be sucked out of their mother’s wombs into a sink, simply because the woman’s boyfriend isn’t interested; I don’t respect the point of view of folks who think America should have no borders and no sovereignty; I don’t respect the point of view of those who think any retreat from their religion earns a death penalty; I don’t respect the point of view of people who believe that bio-parents who are addicted and abusive should be given chance after chance to straighten out, while their children are left to languish in foster care instead of being adopted by a healthy loving family; I don’t respect the point of view of single women, by choice, thinking they are equivalent to a mom and a dad, married and in love. Those are just a few of my favorite “no respect” things. Continue reading Not All Points of View are Worthy of Respect…