Just about every liberal group and organization came down hard on the Komen Foundation and they have now reversed their decision and will continue to give money to Planned Parenthood. 

I didn’t know money donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation for breast cancer research was funneled anywhere else.  When I found this out, I immediately stopped being a donor or participator in any size, shape, or form.

There’s an interesting article by John McCormack in The Weekly Standard on Feb. 2, 2012: “After Lying About Providing Mammograms, Planned Parenthood Outraged That Breast Cancer Charity Cuts Off Grants“  

Here are some excerpts because I really want you to have clarity:

Last spring, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards went on CNN and claimed that if Congress cut off funding to Planned Parenthood “millions of women are going to lose access, not to abortion services, to basic family planning, you know, mammograms.” But as pro-life activist Lila Rose documented in a video, Planned Parenthood does not provide mammograms. [It gives referrals.]

Remember this article was written before the Komen Foundation reversed its decision today…

This story is worth recalling in light of the news this week that the Susan G. Komen Foundation, one of the nation’s largest breast cancer charities, has cut off funding (more than $600,000) to Planned Parenthood. Cecile Richards wrote that the Foundation’s decision to “end its support of lifesaving breast cancer screening at Planned Parenthood health centers comes as a blow to women across America.”

But they don’t provide mammograms.  Everybody is lying.  And whether the Komen Foundation gives its money to Planned Parenthood or not, this amount is not going to hurt Planned Parenthood’s bottom line.  This so-called “non-profit” is worth around $1billion.  They claim only 3% of their services are abortions, but that is very misleading.

There’s another cover article in The Weekly Standard from 2007 titled: “Planned Parenthood’s Unseemly Empire“  by Charlotte Allen which is also worth reading.

One way Planned Parenthood massages the numbers to make its abortion business look trivial is to unbundle its services for purposes of counting. Those 10.1 million different medical procedures in the last fiscal year, for instance, were administered to only 3 million clients. An abortion is invariably preceded by a pregnancy test–a separate service in Planned Parenthood’s reckoning–and is almost always followed at the organization’s clinics by a “going home” packet of contraceptives, which counts as another separate service. Throw in a pelvic exam and a lab test for STDs–you get the picture.

They “bundle it.”  So a person going in for abortion gets all these other things as part of the abortion package and then Planned Parenthood claims abortion is only 3% of their services.  ‘We have all these other things that are happening.’  No, they’re all happening because of the abortion.

Probably the most egregious thing is Planned Parenthood’s looking the other way to statutory rape:

A large number, perhaps a majority, of underage teen pregnancies are not puppy love gone awry, but involve adult men who are significantly older than the pregnant girl. A study published in the journal Family Planning Perspectives in 1992 found that 62 percent of first-time births to teen mothers had been preceded by experiences of molestation, rape, or attempted rape, with the mean male-offender age 27.4 years. The Guttmacher Institute reported in 1995 that more than 40 percent of mothers age 15-17 had sexual partners three to five years older; nearly 20 percent had partners six or more years older.

So in 60% of these pregnancies, the partner was an adult! By the way, the Guttmacher Institute started out as an arm of Planned Parenthood. 

Planned Parenthood’s confidentiality principles can thus run squarely up against laws in every state, typically bearing criminal penalties that require health care workers to report suspected incidents of sexual abuse or statutory rape to law enforcement. In 2002, a Texas-based pro-life group called Life Dynamics launched a sting operation, hiring an actress to call more than 800 abortion clinics nationwide, including many Planned Parenthood clinics. She told the receptionists that she was a 13-year-old girl who needed an abortion, except that her boyfriend was 22 and she didn’t want him to get into trouble. The reported response at 91 percent of the clinics (including Planned Parenthood’s) was: Don’t mention your boyfriend’s age when you come in, and all will be well.

So the Susan G. Komen Foundation obviously siphons off money for all kinds of things like supporting Planned Parenthood, an organization that seems to be okay with statutory rape under the aegis of “protecting children.”  Protecting them from what?  Certainly not adult sexual predators!  It’s despicable how much of your taxpayer money the government uses to subsidize Planned Parenthood which supports this kind of behavior.  And every time they’re caught, they go, “Oh, gee. We didn’t know this was going on.  This is terrible.  We’ll stop it.”

I think it is abysmal the Susan G. Komen Foundation collapsed when types supporting it like Hollywood moguls, Democratic candidates, and liberals with money, all came down hard on them.  Why did they buckle?  Follow the money.  It’s all about the money.  It’s not about principles.  It’s all about the money. 

So a pox on the Susan G. Komen Foundation.  And a continuing pox on Planned Parenthood.

I’m sure all you parents really want your 14 year old daughters to have sex with adult men and get abortions at Planned Parenthood without you knowing.  I’m sure you’re all very excited about that.  I’m sure you’d all go, “I’m for it!”  Well, that’s what you’re subsidizing if you’re giving money to either of those organizations now.  If that’s okay with you, then send your money.

The New York Giants face the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLVI this Sunday

From the National Institute of Mental Health: 

Suicide is a major, preventable public health problem. In 2007, it was the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S., accounting for 34,598 deaths. The overall rate was 11.3 suicide deaths per 100,000 people. An estimated 11 attempted suicides occur per every suicide death.

Risk factors include:

• Depression, other mental disorders or a substance-abuse disorder.  Often the substance-abuse disorder goes hand in hand with a mental disorder.  90 percent of the people who die by suicide have these two risk factors.
• Previous suicide attempt
• Family history of mental disorders or substance abuse
• Family history of suicide
• Family violence, including physical or sexual abuse
• Firearms in the home (the method used in more than half of suicides).
• Incarceration
• Exposure to the suicidal behavior of others, such as family members, peers, or media figures.

Suicide or suicidal behaviors, however, are not normal responses to stress; just because someone may have one or two of these risk factors doesn’t mean they are going to kill themselves.

Almost four times as many men as women commit suicide, with males using firearms 56% of the time while women use poisoning 40% of the time.

In 2007, suicide was the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24.  Most likely, suicide is due to existential issues: young people going from being a kid to an adult, or not having the maturity to deal with romantic, work, and transitional situations.  Some illnesses like schizophrenia tend to show up in the early 20s. And as with the general population, young people are more likely to use firearms, suffocation and poisoning over other suicide methods.

Older Americans are disproportionally likely to commit suicide.  The national average in the general population is 11.3 per 100,000 people.  Those who are 65 or older average 14.3 per 100,000 people.

When people call me who believe someone is just crying for attention, I tell them not to think that way. Most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention.  If a person who appears in any way suicidal, and you’re going to make an error, err in the direction of getting that person hospitalized immediately.

A type of psychotherapy I’ve talked about numerous times and is a major contributor to my perspective on helping people is cognitive therapy.  All kinds of studies have shown cognitive therapy has reduced the rate of repeated suicide attempts by 50 percent during a follow-up year.  Cognitive therapy helps suicide attempters consider alternative actions than self-harm.

If you think someone is suicidal – do not leave them alone.  Get them help immediately.  Call 911 or put them in the car and take them off to the psychiatric ward at a hospital. Eliminate any access to any tool than may be used in a suicide, like drugs, knives, guns, or rope…

One of the most horrifying things that happened to me as a psychotherapist was helping a particular married couple.  A colleague of mine was counselling the wife, and I was counselling the husband.  He was distressed for many reasons.  I learned he had a gun and I made a deal with him to get rid of it.  His wife confirmed he had done so.  He began to feel better and terminated our therapy sessions.  Sometimes when people start to feel better, it means they have put a suicide plan into place, and about three months later in front of his wife, he pulled out a new small caliber pistol and shot himself.  Ultimately, these things are uncontrollable unless you’re physically there and can call for help.

So while we can know the signs of what risk factors to look for, knowing what’s going on in the recesses of someone’s mind is tough.  But if suicidal behaviors are being demonstrated, get nervous and do something about it.  Don’t stand by thinking, “I don’t want anybody to be mad at me.”

What sparked these thoughts is Catherine’s email:

Dr. Laura,

A few days ago, my car decided not to start. Luckily, my husband hadn’t left yet, so he drove me to work before going to his job. Then, since he had an appointment after work, he picked me up from my office and took me with him. I didn’t mind going, considering he did me a great favor of driving me to and from my job.

While sitting in the waiting room at his appointment, another couple came in. The secretary and the woman started to talk very flippantly about divorce. They commented on how they had already discussed with their husbands – before getting married – what they would receive, (as they would say), in their “inevitable divorce”. I was shocked and horrified they would say such things betweent themselves let alone in front of their husbands. I spoke up by saying “It is very sad you feel that way toward the person you promised to love, honor and cherish. Your husbands obviously chose very poorly in a wife and I hope your children have better examples of what love should be other than yourselves.”

I got up and walked away from astonished faces. And when my husband met me outside, all I could do was hug him and let him know that thank goodness we were nothing like the people in that office.

Wow!  Let that be an inspiration.  Don’t be wussy – it doesn’t make you have pride in yourself.  And I certainly never want you to call me and say, “This is what I heard… and what I wanted to say was….” It won’t be a pretty moment.

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Betsy Hart, one of my favorite writers, recently wrote a great article about this topic.  She begins:

Whatever happened to men? That’s a common question today, being asked by social commentators, parents and single women everywhere. They are lamenting young men’s shrinking status in academia, the workplace and, maybe especially, marriage….

She goes on to say:

…it’s simply the case that too often today’s males are living up to the low expectations the culture has for them.

This is true particularly since feminism arose with the attitude of “we don’t need men.”  Gloria Steinem said: “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle”.  That was feminism.  It rarely had anything to do with equal pay for equal jobs.  It had to do with hating being a wife… hating being a mother… and hating men.  That’s what feminism primarily has always been about.  Don’t kid yourself.

Betsy Hart goes on to quote from Bill Bennett’s new book: The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood.  In it, there’s an essay by:

David Gelernter, the renowned Yale computer-sciences professor who was injured in an attack by the Unabomber[. He] talks about how he is bringing up his own sons against the culture. He writes that ‘a man’s role in respect to women is to protect, to help, to support, to cherish as opposed to consume. We are a consumer society and the number one consumption is that of women.’

…Families need to teach young men what it means to be responsible, to work hard and to be prepared to someday get married and care for a wife and children….

I would argue that we also might teach our daughters to respect men. Real men, not the men concocted for treacly romantic comedies. And to respect themselves enough to wait for that man in every sense of that word.

Please take the time to read Betsy Hart’s entire article: Lamenting the Demise of Manliness in America 

And then my staff got me information on traits of real men and I want to share this article with you.  It’s from the blogger MochaDad:

Men were made to be bold, strong leaders.  However, our society has attempted to repress these traits.  (Sidebar: Look what happens in schools with little boys and girls.  Schools are organized for little girls who can sit quietly and sweetly with their hands folded at the desk.  Of course I was never one of those little girls, but generally speaking the schools were. And the little boys?  Well, we say they have ADD and we drug them so they’ll sit like little girls with their hands folded sweetly.) If you look at the way men (especially dads) are portrayed on TV, you’d think we were all a bunch of irresponsible, befuddled, nincompoops, who can only function with the help of a “smart” female partner, friend, or spouse.

He titles his blog: The 7 Traits of Real Men.  Women — I want you to read them because this is the guy you should look for.  Men — I want you to read them so you can stop being weenies and take back your masculinity, your parts, your giblets — if you get my drift.   I can’t believe how many women who have called my show over the years who I’ve told they should have married another woman because the traits they wanted in their husband are not masculine.

He had to say something for you to know? 

So, here are a few things to consider and see if any of these describe your life:

* Your life centers around your kids, your job, and/or your hobbies.  Maybe that’s making him unhappy. 

* You burn your candles at all these ends with everything but love.  So you’re totally exhausted and there is no time for each other. 

* Your home and your life seem to move from one small crisis to another and that’s about it.  You figure, “Okay, we’re going to interact, and we’re going to romance each other, but we’ll save it for the weekends.  Then the weekends come, and “Oh my gosh, there are so many chores to do!”

* You do this thing in your head:  it’s either the kids or the spouse.  Well, you don’t love them both the same way.  Those are different loves.  Living a balanced life doesn’t require you choosing between them at all. 

* Your lives are very fragmented.  You spend your time running hither or thither and doing this and that and loving each other is just not a priority.  Even when you are together, you are in your own little world.  You are both easily irritated by the other.  Your disagreements and misunderstandings become more frequent. 

* Several months pass before you realize you haven’t even sat down and talked to each other nicely.  You haven’t made love; you haven’t done a fun thing together.  Sit down and look at the time you spend on things.  “I have no time.”  Yes, you do.  There is stuff you could trim, but instead, you are trimming him.

This is why I talk so much about being your kid’s mom, being your husband’s girlfriend, being your wife’s boyfriend — these are very important.  You need to focus on being each other as girlfriend and boyfriend.  That has to be a major focus of each day.  Aside from which, the kids need to see that.  It makes them feel secure and it gives them hope for their future.  I mean, do you spend any time connecting each day?

I had a call one time where this woman found out that for nine years, her husband left the house in the morning and spent 15 minutes, five days a week, in the back of a van with the same woman.  For nine years, they would have sex every morning, every day; that’s how they would get their work day started.  I said, well if that had been happening in your home, it wouldn’t have happened in a car with another woman.

So, when is the last time you schmoozed and tickled and rolled around and snuggled and kissed and hugged and were playful, huh?  Do you take care of yourself — your hygiene, your presentation, your health — so you have something to give?  Or, is it all about, “I just don’t have anything to give?”  You have to learn to say no to errands and chores and social activities and overtime and volunteer work and meetings, if it is interfering with your love.

 Don’t read the full newspaper everyday, don’t read Twitter or your emails — don’t read all that stuff.  They steal time from where you could be being cute and adorable with your spouse.  Send emails to each other, leave love notes around the house. Make the most of every moment you have together.  Make it an issue and a priority so I don’t get a call from you on my program where you’re saying , “I have no idea whatsoever why my husband and the father of my kids just said ‘I am out of here.’”  What an insult that is! Men don’t fare as well as women after a divorce emotionally, physically, medically.  Women handle this stuff a lot better, believe it or not.  So, for a guy to face going through the court system which is going to give her everything, for him to make a move like that, he had to be really unhappy.  And if you are truly willing to stand by the statement “I have no idea why he would be unhappy,” then you’re a terrible wife.

First of all, constantly look around and see what else you can do.  A lot of people have a sense of entitlement:  “Well my job description is ‘blankety-blank’ so, you know, I’m not going to put more paper in the copier.”  When I first went through all of the qualities I’ll mention here, I thought about all my peeps.  Each of my peeps has a job description, but when push comes to shove, they each act like the company is theirs.  So if there’s no paper in the copier, well their company doesn’t have paper in the copier so they put paper in.  No one (including me) thinks they’re above doing anything.  I am notorious for cleaning up…they’re always going “here she goes again”.  That’s not in my job description; I am the host.  Heck, we’re all in this together and whatever needs to be done, we do it.  That’s a team effort.  And people who have the team effort mentality do better with their bosses and do better with their co-workers.

Now everything I’m going to say presumes you’re not working for a nutcase.  We leave out the nutcases.  If you’re working for a nutcase, get another job.  Nonetheless, 99.9% are working for reasonable people.  If you behave as though you’re part of the team, everybody will appreciate you, including the boss who will find you indispensable.  “This is a person who will put the coffee on, as well as make the PowerPoint presentation for the CEO of this Fortune 500″…whatever.  So that’s really important. 

Next?  Be observant.  Pay attention to the people who seem to be doing well with the company.  I ask that question a lot when people have concerns about what’s going on at work.  “Well, who are the people who are doing very well?   Who are the people who are liked?  Who are the people seemingly getting ahead?  Who are the people who have the eye of the boss? What is it they do?  How do they behave?  What do they contribute?  What are their people skills?  Communication skills?  How do they get along with people?”   So observe.  Drop the competitiveness, drop the cattiness and just observe.  What skills, what attitudes do the people doing well have that you could take? 

In addition to being a team player (this may sound counterintuitive, but it’s not) you have to find a way to stand out.  Make yourself indispensable; be proactive.  On my racing sailboat (and sometimes I’ve got 10 to 12 people aboard), we sort of noticed over the years the people who were proactive – who would  look around and see if anything bad was going to happen.   Look at all the lines, is anything crossed?  How do all the shackles look?  How does this look?  How does that look? Where’s the wind coming from?  While being a member of a team, they’re looking at everything.  And, over the years, I’ve become adept at figuring out early on the people who are sort of lazy and just want to be on a boat as opposed to the people who really commit to the team by being aware and supporting each other, which is an important thing: Looking for problems before they happen.  It’s easier to avoid than to repair. 

You make yourself indispensable by the positive attitude, by being a flexible team player but also looking around, coming up with ideas, and trying to make things better for everybody.  You need to know how and when to have the right conversations.  So, for example, you go to your boss, your manager, your supervisor and you say, “In 3 to 6 to 9 months what would you like to see me doing?” or “What do you imagine for me?” or “What could I work toward?” or you have a friendly conversation (not a threatening, demanding one) where you say, “What do you see?  What could I do for you that would be better?”  So that you’re open to what a lot of people take as criticism without being sensitive.  Use it as information to run with. 

Bottom line, if you seem hell-bent on just getting a promotion, getting power, you’re missing the bigger picture.  You’ve got to focus in on every aspect of your being at work and relationships, because basically going to work is a relationship experience.  You need to know how to get along with people.  And the best way to get along with people is to be solicitous, non-competitive and supportive.  Ask them for advice and their opinions so they feel important to you.  It’s a give-and-take on a very positive level — it is not a family.  It is NOT a family.  Family has certain expectations and people get awfully emotional about that.  But be very aware of showing respect, asking for their input, and offering them help instead of being competitive.

There are lots of practical things to consider. If you come up with something brilliant for the company they can use, that’s great.  But for the most part it’s attitude, positive people skills, and support. A lot of people get into trouble at work when it all starts to get competitive.  To the contrary, the best thing to do with someone who seems already to be in that mode, is from time to time, say to them, “You know, I was thinking about ‘such and such’.  What’s your opinion on that?”  They stop being competitive when they feel somewhat valued because being competitive is insecurity.  So if you feed the insecurity by fighting, it’ll go south.  If you feed their insecurity by instead bolstering their sense  they are important to somebody, that’s going to work really well.

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