Clicking Her Heels for Halloween

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I had fun making this video, but the message is serious.  With Halloween coming this Saturday, be sure to give some thought to safety BEFORE the trick or treating begins.

Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.

Read transcript here.

Pepsi’s iPhone App Under Fire

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I Googled “PepsiCo and Apple iPhone” and found three million sites talking about PepsiCo’s promotional concept for Amp, their energy drink:  “AMP Up Before You Score.”  The app purports to help men pick up any one of 24 types of women and then get coached on “pick up and score some sex” lines.  The app then takes the coaching a step further, encouraging users who “score” to post details such as name, date and comments for their pals on Facebook and Twitter.  Apparently, a lot of people (mostly women) have criticized the app (mostly on Twitter), saying it contributes to the objectification of women.

Frankly, I think it is hilarious, and that women (especially the feminists) are being unbelievably hypersensitive and hypocritical.  Let me count the ways:

1. Women’s studies at colleges and universities objectify men as the “dark side.”
2. Women dress provocatively these days.
3. Women “hook up” (i.e., casual sex – no obligations, no dinner)
4. Women use abortion as birth control for any children conceived via
 casual sex, as opposed to marrying the father of the child.
5. Women “shack up,” have sex out of wedlock, and have babies out of wedlock.
6. Women today are so casual about sex that The Wall Street Journal reports that they have interfered with the earning abilities of call girls and prostitutes.
7. Porn movies star women.
8. The porn industry is owned and managed largely by female entrepreneurs who themselves are objectifying women.

So, what is the problem with an app that suggests pick-up lines?  If a woman is foolish enough to hear a come-on and drop her undies, well, that’s her choice, isn’t it?  Instead, she could tell the guy to “kiss off.”  She could wait to have sex until at least 1 ½ years into the relationship, with an engagement ring and a wedding date. 

I am not offended by this ad program.  After all, it worked.  Everyone is talking about it (even me).  I think it’s stupid, but I’m not offended.  But if any of those “lines” gets a guy some free sex, well it’s the woman’s damn fault, not PepsiCo’s.

Quote of the Week

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I believe that UNICEF is the most important branch of the U.N.; they do exceptional work to help the neediest children of the world.
               - Liam Neeson
                  Actor
                  UNICEF Ambassador

October 24 is United Nations Day

To the Mother Whose Son Is Smoking Marijuana

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I got this email from a listener after she heard a call I took on my radio program.  She titled the email “To The Mother Whose Son Is Smoking Marijuana.”  It speaks for itself:

Today you gave advice to a mother who found out her 16 ½ year old son is smoking marijuana.  You advised her to get him into a residential treatment program.   You stated that drug addicts lie, and she responded that she didn’t “see” him as a drug addict.  I am afraid she will not take your advice, and she may be in my situation in the future.

Today, I write this with a broken heart.  11 years ago, when my son was 17, I, too, found out that he was smoking marijuana.  He was on the academic honor roll and participated in sports – he wasn’t a drug addict!  I tried to get him into a residential program, but was told they would not accept him at his age unless he committed himself.  I took him to a counselor that the high school recommended and had him assigned a probation officer until he was 18.  I thought just like her that he was not a drug addict in my mind.  He grew up to be a responsible young man who owned his own business, but he continued to smoke marijuana. 

Six months ago, I received that phone call that no parent wants to receive.  My son was dead at the age of 28 from an accidental drug overdose (oxycodone), which the coroner told me is the most abused drug today.  I do not know if this was the first time or the hundredth time he used the drug, but I vowed that if I can save one child or one parent from experiencing what I am going through that I would share my story. 

Dr. Laura, you were correct.  She needs to deal with the issue NOW, while she still has some control.  My son was not a “drug addict” either.  The coroner called it “recreational drug use.”  Children need to know that tennis, hockey, and soccer are recreations, not drugs.  I hope that mother heeds your advice so that her son does not end up where mine is today, guilt-ridden and questioning “should I have done more?”

Baby Talking

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Busy, busy mothers tuned in to their cellphones, BlackBerrys, iPods, iPhones, and chatty girlfriends, just don’t have the time to tune in to their children – that’s just reality!  And you can’t expect nannies (equipped with the same electronics) or day care workers with scads of kids to supervise or babysitters with other things to do to spend time tuning into your children either.  That’s just reality.

Why is this an issue?  Well, children just don’t develop their language, communication skills, sensitivity to eye contact and facial expressions without input, stimulation and attention.  This fact will surely dismay parents and liberal educators who say kids just need a few minutes of quality time a day, and they’ll be just fine.

According to Randi Jacoby, a speech and language specialist in New York, who was quoted in the New York Times:  “Parents have stopped having good communications with their young children, causing them to lose out on the eye contact, facial expression and overall feedback that is essential for early communication development.”

That means that, instead of you parents going off to work when you have babies or small children, and then handing them over to institutionalized care or the care of someone hired to watch them all day and report back to you about “food in and waste out,” you need to be home with your children, doing things like:

• Recognizing that communication begins as soon as the baby is born.  The way you touch, hold, look at and talk to your baby helps him or her learn language.  Even though your child doesn’t necessarily understand what you’re saying, your calm, reassuring voice is what he or she needs to feel safe.  You cannot spoil babies with attention and responsiveness to their cries.
• Talking all the time while you are doing things.  Talk about where you are going, what you will do when you get there, and who/what you’ll see.  Talk about cleaning up the dishes, preparing meals, putting on makeup – everything – all of this is attention.
• Putting down the cellphone or other electronic device to look your child in the eyes as he or she tries to communicate or when you are engaging him.  Responding to a child’s communicative attempts with complete attention is a sign of interest and love, and it teaches communication.  It might even help you with your spouse!
• Engaging your child in conversation, once he or she starts talking.  Expand what they are saying to help them learn to do the same.  For example, when your child says “Doggie,” respond with “Yes, that is a big black dog.”  Ask questions, play games, sing songs, recite nursery rhymes, and read books.

 Parenting is not about making sure your child lives through the day.  It’s about an investment of time, and loving energy to help them develop the skills they will need to function well in life.  Nannies, day care workers and babysitters just don’t fill the bill.  Nobody trumps a loving mom and dad.

I Found The Perfect College, But…

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Ah, the teenage years… today, I address a problem that many families face.   A high schooler has located the “perfect” college, but Mom and Dad have other plans…

Or watch other videos at youtube.com/DrLaura.

Read transcript here.

It’s Not Easy Being a Good Parent in the Digital Age

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I’m turning my blog today over to Kim Komando.  She is a nationally syndicated talk show host, focusing on the Internet and digital consumer electronics.  Kim and I whole-heartedly believe in protecting children and below she details some very important points parents need to be aware of in this digital age.

It’s Not Easy Being a Good Parent in the Digital Age
Kim Komando

I received a call on my national radio show a few weeks ago. A concerned father wanted to know about a particular site on the Internet where his 11-year-old son was chatting online. It seemed harmless. His son created a cartoon-like representation of himself called an avatar.

Dad approved of it. But soon, the son was buying virtual goods for his avatar. Dad took a closer look at what his little boy was about to purchase. Good thing; they were sex toys.

Far too often, parents don’t get involved with their children’s online activities until something bad happens. They dismiss the warning signs. They don’t monitor what the kids are doing because they don’t have the time, their child would never do that, or some other lame excuse.

I am still astounded by the parents who don’t want to invade their child’s privacy. They don’t think it is right to snoop on their child’s Web travels, e-mail and text messages. They usually liken it to reading a teenager’s hidden diary. “No one should do that,” they say.

If only it were that simple.

With the Internet now in our homes and on our phones, this wonderful digital world has brought the inappropriate and criminal elements directly into our lives. What seems harmless and fun can quickly turn into a pedophile’s dream and a parent’s nightmare.

For instance, you may be unaware of Web sites where kids use Webcams. In effect, they broadcast live video and audio from their bedrooms. The people using the live broadcasting sites can watch them. They can leave comments. You can bet pedophiles are watching them, too.

Pedophiles have actually helped kids set up sites. They have arranged credit card acceptance through online payment sites. The children perform sex acts, broadcast with Webcams. The pedophiles pay to watch.

The other day my 8-year-old son Ian received a text-message from his friend John. John wanted to know if he downloaded a particular free game from iTunes. The rule in my home is that before anything gets downloaded, Ian and I learn more about it. I need to approve it.

The game these two boys were talking about had a plot something like this: A convicted felon escapes from prison. He is roaming the streets of downtown Los Angeles. He needs to make money to survive and go on missions. To do this, he has to kill people.

Needless to say, that game didn’t make it onto his phone.

Social-networking sites are less dangerous. But you still have to watch what children say. They have profiles. Be sure they’re not including their phone numbers and addresses.

Again, the best protection is alert parents. Don’t wait for trouble! Be proactive!

Need some help? Here are tips to help you get in front of the issues.

* Find out if sex offenders live in your area http://www.komando.com/kids/tip.aspx?id=2306
* Cell phone plans that put you in control and even tell you where the phone is located http://www.komando.com/kids/tip.aspx?id=3861
* Figure out text messaging lingo http://www.komando.com/kids/tip.aspx?id=3496
* Control kids iTunes use http://www.komando.com/kids/tip.aspx?id=4092
* The free tool that I use to block inappropriate content in my home http://www.komando.com/tips/index.aspx?id=6501

The Kim Komando Show (www.komando.com) is the largest nationally syndicated weekend talk radio show. Kim Komando focuses on the Internet and digital consumer electronics. Komando also distributes the Kim Komando Digital Minute, a one-minute consumer update on digital news.  

Quote of the Week

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Today is National Boss’ Day:

There is only one boss.  The customer.  And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.
               - Sam Walton
                  American businessman and entrepreneur
                  Founder of WalMart