A recent study out of UC Berkeley found that wives matter more when it comes to resolving marital spats. I couldn’t help but laugh. Duh! It’s not exactly a new discovery that women hold most of the power in a relationship. Why? Consider this typical husband and wife exchange:
Wife: “I’m having a problem with someone at work.”
Husband: “Well, I think this is what you ought to do.”
Wife: “I don’t want you to solve it. I want you to listen to me. I want you to hear my feelings!”
Male and female brains are wired very differently. Men are problem solvers. Women, on the other hand, are more verbal and don’t like anybody to fix their problems. Instead, they want to talk about their pain and upset feelings.
This is why women have more influence over arguments in their marriages. Because men think in terms of solutions rather than feelings, if a woman cuts the emotion and approaches her husband with a plan, things become a lot more manageable.
In addition, women have more power in a marriage because men are very dependent on feminine approval. It starts out with their mothers and later comes in the form of sex with their wives. By contrast, women get their approval from their mothers, sisters, and girlfriends. Men are much more emotionally reliant on women than women on men. This is one of the reasons why after a death or divorce, men find somebody else much quicker.
So, for all you women who want to have more satisfaction in your marriages, stop talking for a moment and come up with one or two potential solutions to the problem. Suddenly, you and your husband will be talking instead of yelling. If you pull your emotional act together, things will go better.
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Leader of Indian independence movement
1869 - 1948
There are certain habits and behaviors common to most successful people. Here are 15 of them:
- They get up early.
Successful people use the morning to meditate, plan their day and work on important projects without interruptions. When my son was little, I used to get up at 5 a.m. to work on my books so I wouldn’t be distracted or interfere with anything that had to do with my kidlet.
- They exercise almost every day.
Exercise increases your energy level, elevates your mood and makes you more confident. Nothing feels better than finishing a hard workout.
- They eat right and watch their weight.
Eating healthy makes you feel better in every size, shape and form.
- They do what they have to do, even when they don’t feel like it.
Why? Because it needs to be done, and it’s the honorable thing to do.
- They don’t try, they do.
Saying, “I’ll try,” means you’ve already decided on a give-up point. Trying is an escape plan; doing is a commitment.
- They plan their day.
When I was in college, I would make a 3 x 5 card of everything I had to do the next day before I went to bed. Practically every 15 minutes was accounted for (going to class, studying, taking breaks, eating meals, going to the gym, etc.), and I didn’t let anyone or anything short of a tornado change my plan. It was a great way to make sure there wasn’t chaos the next day.
- They have the right attitude.
Successful people think about what they want and formulate a plan to achieve it. They don’t sit around dwelling on what they don’t have, what they’ve missed, and how they have gotten screwed over. Sure, we all have moments where we are pissy about things that probably won’t change, and it’s OK to spend some time getting the aggravation out. But you can’t spend all your time there. You can visit, but you can’t move in.
- They have guts.
That doesn’t mean they are not without fear. It means they are scared and do it anyway. Successful people actually experience more fear than most people because they put themselves in riskier situations of learning and growing to reach goals. Most people are unwilling to risk being uncomfortable. The night before I was to go national with my radio show for the first time, I was terrified. I sat by the phone hoping somebody would call to say that they had changed their mind. However, I got up in the morning, turned on the microphone, and told myself that it didn’t matter if it was local, national or interplanetary – I had a job to do.
- They don’t waste their time with mindless activities.
Successful people don’t spend their time watching reality TV or glued to Facebook. A movie or witty, half-hour comedy is fine, but not the other mind-numbing stuff.
- They are constantly learning, growing and stretching their brains.
They take classes, read and watch instructional videos.
- They are people of great strength, character and conviction.
They stand by what they say, and say what they mean out loud.
- They manage their money carefully, even if they entrust money matters to their spouse or professionals.
- They decide what they want to accomplish, and then figure out a way to make it happen.
- No matter how large or small the task, they do everything with excellence.
Excellence is not the same thing as perfection because perfection is not possible. But when it comes to doing something, good enough is not good enough.
- They are loyal.
They pick their friends wisely, avoid people who are a pain in the butt, and surround themselves with good people. They take care of others, but also allow others to take care of themselves.
Whether it is children, relatives, religion, traditions, gifts, or a myriad of other things that pull your attention during this time of year, I have some things for you to think about regarding your priorities in these four short videos. Watch:
Do not judge me by my successes. Judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.
Anti-apartheid revolutionary and former President of South Africa
Something to think about on “Black Friday:”
“…only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.”
Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.
John F. Kennedy
35th President of the United States