Tag Archives: Child Abuse

How to Protect Your Child from Online Predators

Meeting people on the Internet is not a very good plan.  You can never know for sure who you’re talking to, and there has been plenty of research to show the dangers of developing a relationship with someone online.

However, reality and facts don’t seem to matter when emotions are involved.  According to the journal Pediatrics, a third of teenagers reported having offline meetings with people they have met on the Internet.  Now, their parents probably didn’t neglect to tell them, “Don’t do that!” A lot of kids are thrill-seekers, or they desperately want to connect with someone, oftentimes someone older.  Not too many predators are even pretending to be kids anymore. Many flat-out admit that they’re adults.

Young girls who are abused (sexually or physically) or neglected (because their parents are either divorced or too busy with full-time careers) are the most likely to present themselves online in a sexual or provocative way.  They do it to fill the space that their parents aren’t filling and to get attention.  That’s the most vulnerable kind of kid.  If someone is looking for a vulnerable teen with whom to start an online sexual discourse, they will most likely target someone who presents themselves provocatively.  This also occurs with minor gay males, who are confused, scared, hiding, or being rejected by their parents.

So, how can you protect your kids from online predators?  You have to be there to parent. It’s as simple as that.  As research shows, installing Internet filtering software doesn’t really make that much of a difference – maltreated kids still find a way to intentionally seek the adult content and provocatively present themselves on social networking sites.

Like any other job, being a parent requires you to show up and put in effort.  For example, in order to be a surgeon, you have to be in the operating room.  As a parent, you need to be there when your child gets out of school to reduce the association between your adolescent’s risk factors and online behavior.  Paying attention to your kids is the best medicine and best method of control.  Kids who are loved and well taken care of, by and large, have more self-control and get into less trouble – online and elsewhere.

I Am the Face of Child Abuse

When the scandal at Penn State broke, and everyone was scrambling to protect the school football legacy, and coach Joe Paterno, I went on the air livid no one was talking about the children who were allegedly abused by Jerry Sandusky.  I dedicated a major portion of my SiriusXM show on Friday, November 11 to any victims of child abuse.  I wanted them to tell their stories, so people could no longer distance themselves from those who have had to live their lives with memories of these heinous crimes.
 
One of the most powerful callers was Roxine, who wrote out her statement so she’d be able to get through it.  She has given us permission to reprint it, and I encourage you to share it with all others and especially with those who would like to just “look the other way,” and not think of the actual effects of abuse on these children.  If you’d like to hear the actual call, click here, but what follows is the text of Roxine’s statement:

I am the face of child sexual abuse

And this is the face of my abuser.

He was my grandfather.  “Paw-Paw” sexually abused me from age 5 to 13.  And people knew.

The events unfolding at Penn State involving the sexual abuse of children and subsequent cover-up has awoken that little 5-year-old girl who deserved to be protected, who deserved a childhood, who deserved to live, who deserved for someone to say something to make it stop – as did all of the victims of this sexual deviant at Penn State.
   
The sexual abuse of a child not only takes away their innocence, it takes away their life, because who that child was supposed to be is forever changed.  And while we don’t carry scars that you can see, they are there.  Internal, emotional scars, filled with trust and betrayal issues, fear and anger, loss; sometimes we are unable to find value in ourselves as human beings because we were once just objects used to satisfy someone’s abnormal sexual desires.  Once we are old enough to realize that what our abusers did to us isn’t right, we begin to think  that maybe we had no worth, because no one protected us, no one stood up for us, no one cared.
 
Used and discarded, we are left to seek out “love” and “value” in the only way we know how, through sexual behaviors that aren’t rooted in real relationships.  We don’t know how to have relationships because we can never trust anyone fully.  The relationships we counted on as children failed us.  No one stood up for us.  No one protected us.  No one spoke up.

Because child sexual abuse is taboo, it makes people feel uncomfortable.  And it is this uncomfortable feeling that leaves the door open for the abuse to continue.  The incredulous thoughts of “not in my family, not him, not her, no way he or she could do that” make people question what they actually saw, or makes them doubt what they know is true.  Because it is such a gut-wrenching notion to imagine a child being raped by an adult, people would rather rationalize it than deal with it.  They would rather it just go away than have to face it.  Our mental self-preservation mode kicks in and we try not to think about such awful, monstrous acts on a child.

Already, just a few days into this news story, there are articles, reporters and radio hosts saying they just want to be done with it.  It makes them so uncomfortable that they just want it to go away.  But for us, for the little kids who suffered the heinous acts of child sexual abuse, this never goes away.  In a way, we welcome this conversation and want it to continue.  It is the only way that some will listen.  That little 5-year old girl is screaming at the top of her lungs for you to help her – if it doesn’t look right, if it doesn’t feel right – go with your gut – say something, do something, anything.  Don’t just walk away because it makes you uncomfortable.  Don’t sweep it under the rug because you don’t want to embarrass the family or the team or the university.

Children cannot protect themselves.  It is our duty to keep them safe. Speak up.  I would rather say something and be uncomfortable, than say nothing and risk losing another child.  No matter what, always protect the child.  If any of those involved had said something, they would be hailed a hero.  Instead, they turned a blind eye.  In my opinion, they are no better than the perpetrator himself.

Joe Paterno and the Penn State Child Abuse Horror

It is my never-to-be-humble opinion that coach Joe Paterno from Penn State ought to be in jail.  Fired wasn’t enough.  Let’s see, endangering the welfare of minors, knowing kids were being molested and not reporting it to the police?  I don’t know, I think that should be actionable.
 
The other night just before I went to sleep, I turned on the computer looking to see if there’s anything I really need to talk about on my program the next day.  What I saw was a video of 2,000 moronic, amoral young people, spoiled rotten with no moral compass clapping, laughing, smiling and shouting, “We stand up for our school!  Paterno is our iconic hero!.”  These were totally misguided protests from creepy kids on the campus.  And they had nothing to say about the victims.  Me? I would throw them all out of school.

Jerry Sandusky abused little boys over a period of 15 years.  Not only that, but the story gets worse when you learn where some of them were “done”.  I would say, “More than ever Paterno should be fired. He took no moral responsibility and did not follow through on the information he knew so he could protect little kids.  And yet he talks about his 17 grandkids…”
 
Would he have felt differently if Sandusky had done one of his grandkids?  I don’t know.  Think he would’ve stepped forward to do anything?  What? And mess with Penn State football?  I don’t know, maybe he’d sacrifice one of his own grandkids too; I have no clue.  But those 2,000 students, who had no clue, morally, as to what this was really all about, make me sick for our future.  And the parents…if you’re parents of any of those kids who were out there, you should be embarrassed you produced critters like that.
 
Good for the board for not allowing Paterno to write the blueprint for his own exit.  He wanted to leave on his own terms.  Creep.  He wanted to finish out the season.  They got his butt out of there anyway.  He didn’t help the young victims of “alleged” sexual predator Jerry Sandusky, his former defensive coordinator, and he knew about it.
 
Paterno made a statement on Wednesday.  He described himself as “‘absolutely devastated’ by the recent indictment of Sandusky for 40 counts of sexual abuse across 15 years.”  He promised “to pray for the ‘comfort and relief’ of the victims identified.”  And he had the friggin’ gall to say, “With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.”  That’s an admission of guilt.  The victims probably wish he had done more too.
 
To add to this, the current assistant coach Mike McQueary, who was then a graduate assistant, walked into the Penn State shower to see Sandusky raping a 10 year old boy, and turned around and walked out.  He turned around and walked out.  He is 6’4″, 220 pounds, and he turned around and walked out.  He didn’t call the police.  He told his dad and he told Paterno.  “I saw it with my own eyes.”  And what did that bastard do?  Nothing.  Why?  Probably because he thinks, “I am God.  I am a football coach for Penn State.”
 
Loyal students camped outside Paterno’s house chanting, “Joe must stay!,” cheering a man who could’ve stopped a predator from attacking kids, had he just dialed 911.  They are cheering to keep him because football is king, success breeds power, power breeds influence, influence breeds a bullet-proof arrogance and most of our young people have absolutely no concept of morality.

Reality TV Tolerates Child Abuse

Whether you call it “reality,” or “actuality,” it makes for “trash” television on purpose.

Matt Philbin, managing editor of the Culture and Media Institute says: “Reality television plays to people’s worst instincts and depends on people behaving badly, manipulating others, lying and violence.”

In my opinion, that’s putting it mildly.

Reality TV is the disgusting intent to make money by catering to the lowest qualities in human beings:  being entertained by death, evil, mayhem, cruelty, and downright stupidity.

MTV’s contribution to the waste of the airwaves, Teen Mom (which, by the way, targets down to 12 year olds) shows Amber Portwood violently kicked, punched, and slapped by her on-again/off-again fiancé, and the father of her illegitimate and most unlucky child.  She responds with a vulgar tirade – all in front of the child – and the cameras roll…and the cameras roll.
 
Nobody thinks of this as child abuse?  I do. Upon viewing that video, authorities from Child Protective Services should have taken that child into protective custody and attempted to terminate their parental (and I use that term loosely) rights.

In season 2 of E!’s “Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami,” Fox News reports “Terrified new mom Kourtney was seen cowering and locking herself in a room with their then five-month old, as Scott Disick litters the floor with broken glass amid a violent alcohol-involved tirade.”

Grossly bad behavior these days is fodder for a TV show, with fame, fortune, nice cars, and a fabulous lifestyle as a reward.

I demand to know, considering there is video evidence, why Child Protective Services in neither case has taken the child away from each of these unfit mothers?   I’m not an attorney, but I believe this is criminal activity and I know it’s psychologically abusive to the children, as well as downright dangerous to them.

We don’t seem to have come far from the Christians/lions and gladiators as entertainment.

Blood, violence, fury, danger, vulgar displays – these form the core of the TV shows we see now.  I long for the good old days.